Starting year 13 2016

Sorry to everyone for all the trials,tribulations and sadness
Puts all of our day to day worries into perspective .
I'm jealous of you all though being able to make plans!
I'm quietly resigning myself to the thought that dd may not get an offer this year.But I wouldn't dream of saying this to dd (So can I just say it here quietly?)We've made plans for a really lovely holiday .Malaysia - Kota Kinabalu , K.L.,Australia etc.Dh has broken in to his his air miles to book a Penthouse Apartment in Melbourne city centre and hired a van to tour the coast road.So it's something to look forward to.When do the results come out because I think we might still be away.

Just on the student bank account issue - I was in Nationwide a couple of days ago and enquired about their student bank accounts. You can only open one a maximum of two months before the course starts (with proof of paperwork from the uni). They said this is standard practice for student bank accounts.

So, given that the deadline to apply for a student loan is 31 May, this means I think that our DCs will need to give details of their present bank accounts when they apply and then presumably update their details if their bank account changes.

They'll also have to update the details of the course if they don't end up at their firm choice.

Lots of things to remember!

I am hoping to sit down with DS this weekend and make a start on the student loan application, so if anything else comes up then I'll feed back.

Thanks for the code ono. DD's railcard needs renewing, so it's a good reminder for us.

Sorry to hear about your nephew, Juggling. I think it's great that she is going to try for Sheffield. Why not be ambitious? My dd will probably not end up going there, but the location of Sheffield near the Peak District was definitely a big plus for her.

DD still hasn't heard from Bristol. Now she is thinking they might make her an offer for mechanical and electrical engineering, which is a new course, rather than the straightforward mechanical she applied for. She says she would consider it, so we'll have to wait and see.

Juggling, sorry for your loss.
Your DD sounds to be making good choices about her course/place to study - finding something she wants to do and a place she wants to be.

Horse, I agree re parenting! And that there are lots of job opportunities in IT.

DD is off to an Offer Holders day later. The break from school will do her good - friends (or should it be ex-friends) trouble. She is now talking about travelling/gap year...
Do you organise uni finance even if you might do a gap year?

Code for 15% off railcards if anyone is interested ATOYEHDA9A (I just renewed DS's even though it isn't due until the end of the month, saved £4.50)

Horse, you are right, it doesn't get easier, does it There are lots of IT jobs where a degree isn't needed and there are other qualifications such as Microsoft certified professional or CISM.

Namechange, hope this week isn't too stressful for your DS - mocks plus EPQ presentation sounds like bad timing on the school's part.

Juggling, sorry to hear you lost your nephew, it is difficult on anniversaries, young people dying just goes against the natural order of things.

I did a year of zoology as part of my foundation year and loved it (even dissecting prawns and finding out that woodlice change direction every time they turn). All the unis mentioned have a good reputation, it depends on whether she would be happier in the city or country.

I've been googling best student bank accounts (you need this for student finance) and it looks like Nationwide student flex is the best if you need an overdraft at 0% (I can see DS availing himself of this!)

She wants to do Zoology Errol, having been brought up watching Attenborough together and DH taking her bird and wildlife watching at every opportunity.
What a great subject that is! The study of our beautiful natural world and specifically all the animals that live within it.
(DS (15) is at the moment thinking of doing music, and again what a wonderful thing music is!)

So, particularly good to be near a beautiful part of the world in South Wales and the Gower for Swansea, or just possibly near the Peak District with Sheffield.
She likes the outdoors too so there could be some nice walking and hostelling groups to join? (as I did at Uni, but only went on a couple of trips)

She says we should tackle Uni finance next week, hope I can put my hands on sufficient paperwork - but our situation is pretty straight-forward so it should be do-able.

Remind me please, what course is she going to do?

to all those of you with heartache and worries at the moment.

Thanks all x
Yesterday she said she was leaning towards Swansea as she particularly liked the sound of the course and the lecturers there, and we both think the surrounding area with the Gower peninsula would be lovely.
Now she seems to be thinking Sheffield worth a shot as first choice (they have given an AAB offer and prediction is BBB so it would probably be a case of hoping to meet in the middle on that one) But Swansea as insurance and expecting really to go there - and excited by that prospect too
Also she seems quite relaxed about the possibility of using Clearing - we just found out that 1 in 8 students got their place through clearing last year.
So the plan for that would be another interesting looking course at USW, just outside Cardiff.

So like her DM she seems keen to test to the limit and squeeze whatever she can out of the system! I would probably play it just slightly safer, but I can see that nothing ventured nothing gained isn't a bad spirit to set out on your independent adult life 😊

It is a helpful distraction talking about things on here isn't it? Sorry about your nephew Juggling.

Reading is a great choice if she thinks Swansea is a bit too far away.

Juggling - sorry about your nephew.

If your DD would be happy to go to both Swansea and Reading, you can't go wrong really can you? I've heard students at both unis saying they were very happy there. When you say Sheffield is slightly unreachable, is it beyond her predicted grades? I get what you're saying about making a third choice from a course that's likely to end up in clearing: DS is likely to do the same.

Thinking of everyone and the various challenges of parenting our older teens.

The interesting but somewhat challenging dilemma of which to go for following all our Uni visits and offers is taking up my thoughts, though increasingly realising it will
need to be DD's decision, but definitely one I think is OK too, and hopefully her teachers as well.

It is a nice thing to think about at a difficult time of year, as early March was when we lost my nephew in tragic cirumstances, 3 years ago 😥

I'm grateful DD has such good options to choose from as she moves into a more independent life, and especially when I hear what they are aiming to provide these days in terms of student support.

I hope I've not been insensitive to others but obsessing slightly on DD's future options has been partly a helpful distraction from other things at a difficult time.

So what do you all think, Swansea or Reading (both looking great, would be delighted to go to either) and do we have a shot at Sheffield as a great but slightly unreachable top choice, also USW could be an insurance choice or might be available as a kind of third choice as course was available in clearing last year. We're trying to make the wisest choice from the various combinations possible.

Don't feel bad at all Horse, I rather enjoyed the 6 months DD was away to be honest.

Horse, I don't blame you! I was just getting into the groove of the kids becoming really independent when DS got ill and we went back to total dependency!

Thanks everyone. I feel a bit bad saying this but I was actually looking forward to having them both at uni (assuming DS2 does alright in A levels, of course) and it being just me & DH.

I have been mentally preparing for both of them to be away and now... Things change so quickly!

namechange, sorry to hear your DS is struggling. And next week sounds quite a challenge for anyone. I have forgotten, does he want to study at a uni away from home?

Horse, perhaps coming home and getting a job will be the making of him - stepping into the real world rather than living in an online gaming world?

Parenting is most definitely the hardest thing!

Littleho, sorry to hear that. Very tough for all of you

So sorry it didn't work out for your ds1 Horsemad.

Plodding on here but I'm really struggling. Mum is on the point of going into a hospice (terminal cancer) and I'm increasingly having to leave my younger two (doing A Levels and GCSE's) to sort themselves out while I help my Dad.

I really hope they make it through the exams as they are really close to my Mum. Not sure what the options will be if it affects their exam results.

Such a shame about your DS1 Horsemad. I remember your travails when he didn't get the A-level grades he needed. Hope he finds something else to do which he enoys.

DS1 has had a couple of wobbly weeks. Not seriously depressed/suicidal as he has been in the past, but not right either. Not eating, sleeping constantly, irrational, refusing to engage etc (which I think is his body's way of showing he's overwhelmed.) School on the phone because he missed a deadline. Turns out he'd forgotten to take his anti-depressants for a few days.

Next week will be make or break I think. Coming back at midnight tonight from a 3 day residential, then he's straight into a week of mocks and his EPQ presentation. If he can't hold it together next week then I will be seriously doubtful whether university in September will be the right thing to do.

Yes Errol, comp sci. Hopefully this will jolt him out of his inertia and he will decide which direction he wants to go in.

Was it comp sci he originally wanted to do? He might be able to find some work in a related area or possibly even some sort of apprenticeship. Something which imposes discipline on him.

Thanks. This parenting lark doesn't get any easier!

Pity, though I will admit I was surprised DD agreed. It will be a huge boost to her confidence to have got through it. Another advantage of the Alps is that wifi is awful so no gaming...

Its tough. He will not be the only one who struggles to make that leap to becoming a confident young adult. Hopefully, despite the knock in confidence, seeing friends move on with their lives will encourage him to move forward. Job first, degree later is not a bad way to do things. As long as he does the "job first". Having a reason to get out of bed each morning is so important.

Good luck.

I seriously doubt he'd be agreeable to a ski season Needmoresleep but he will not be sitting around doing nothing!

He has been told he will be expected to find work and whilst there is always a room at home for him, that's where our hospitality ends. He will be expected to pitch in and contribute financially and also with household duties.

It is weird, he is not a party animal so hasn't been out every night, he just will not apply himself to his studies. I suspect he wastes time gaming and his PC will not be coming back into the house.

In all other respects he is a good lad, no trouble to us at all. Has never run out of money, fairly self sufficient; he just will not put the work in, gah!

Horsemad, any chance of you getting him to work a ski season. They will be recruiting now for next season. Last year DD thankfully recognised that she was not ready to go to University and wanted a break from anything academic, and accepted my conditions that I wanted her to be doing something purposeful, and ideally away from home. My fear was that she might spend the year in bed.

Its been really tough, and we had at least a couple of calls with her saying she did not think she could do it any longer. These have stopped, and we barely hear from her. She now admits she is really enjoying herself, and will eventually feel very proud of having coped. Lots of Saisonnieres in a small safe French resort, good skiing and some very hard work. The boys in particularly seemed to struggle at the start, even basic things like making beds, but the ones who have lasted have picked up a good range of skills (domestic, employment, organisational and customer facing) which will stand them in good stead. The pay is truly awful, effectively pocket money, so you need to earn tips, and the management is strict (chalet inspections, room inspections, uniform inspections, post mortems over customer feedback) but unlike University you are not paying to work hard and play hard. She has grown up a lot, and is now looking forward to getting back to academic studies.

Her peers are really diverse: gap yearers and reapplicants, some NEETs, some who have finished University and don't know what to do next, some who want to switch career, as well some on work placements from hospitality and catering courses. All of them should gain from working in a team with kids from very different backgrounds, and supporting each other. I loved the way DD described one of her close friends, who will be starting an apprenticeship on his return, as very smart, just not "school clever." After all the emphasis on grades and academic achievement it is an important lesson to have learnt.