Yr7 new starters

No, I won't let it drop, thankfully DD is ok with my repair job though so I'm not going to make too big a thing about it on the 'bullying' side but will push the school on the 'naked flame/danger' side.

Different type of drama here tonight - the police arrested two clowns in our sleepy village . Looks like they were trying to break in/vandalise the village hall but decided to do it dressed as clowns... I think I prefer the bottle-flipping fad tbf

Ds is saying he feels sick tonight he's had quite a few days off already with sickness at home and then being sent home from school saying he was sick. I really don't know what to do.
Titsy no haven't mentioned about the porn to the teacher at this point.
Ex that's awful about your dd.

Dallas I'd assume the teacher hadn't yet seen the email or had missed it. Might be worth phoning in tomorrow to follow up as it would probably be best dealt with quickly.
Glad your son's head is ok Simpson. Hope your dd feels more settled soon titsy.

Well the tutor didn't say anything to DD or in class and hasn't replied to my email, so I'm not sure what is going on.

DD says she spoke to a few of the girls and no-one knew anything. She says they looked shocked but she isn't sure if she trusts them. She says that one of them made a comment that made her think she was 'jealous' of the bag, but she doesn't think it was her.

I doubt we'll ever find out will we? Bloody thing is out of stock everywhere again, it was pure luck that we got it when we did - DD reckons there is only one other person in the whole school that has one (how true that is I don't know, but it did take us 7 weeks to get it in the first place!). I'll replace it if I can, but will try to stop DD stewing over it more importantly.

Sorry some DC are still having a tough time :(

DD is up and down. She has made a small group of good friends but is having issues with severe anxiety (not about school but maybe still being insecure is fueling the fire). Her best friend has been having some issues with bullying which got a bit physical yesterday and DD has been called in as a witness. The school are really clamping down hard on it which is great and DD has been spending time with her friend at a lunchtime group they have for kids to hang out and discuss their worries and problems. The anxiety is really concerning me as she is so afraid all the time and said she is struggling to concentrate in class.

Yesterday one of the boys told her he had a crush on her so she came to me to ask what she should say as she doesn't fancy him but doesn't want to hurt his feelings. He is a bit of an unusual character and she likes him as a person but he is being teased by pretty much the whole class and she wants to talk to him but doesn't want everyone to turn against her if she becomes friends with him. I told her whatever she chooses to do she must not join in the making fun of him which she said she will never do. Urgh, I remember all this stuff from when I was a teen. So much crap to contend with in the next few years!

How awful about your DD's bag Eve - how on earth did that happen?!

Very impressed with your DD's organisational skills lumberjack - could she come and teach my DD? I'm still having to supervise all that and watch over her homework as she is so bloody slapdash about it. I know I need to let her get on with it and on her head be it but it's so early on and I want her to make a good impression!

Dickorydock that's shocking about the porn! I bet those kids have older siblings - lots of problems arise from that. Have you informed the school?

Yeah, I emailed her tutor last night to report it. Haven't had anything back as yet. Will see what DD says when I get home tonight. It's pretty shit.

Blimey Eve that's awful. Definitely mention it to the school. Burning things that are not on Bunson burners is really serious.

Oh Eve, that's rubbish. Have you reported to school? Aside from the damage to her bag, which is bad enough, if some wonderful little child is making fire on school premises that's serious.

DD was doing OK, but discovered her bag, her pride and joy that she bought with her pocket money (because I wouldn't buy it), was burnt by some little shit yesterday

She was so upset. And I probably can't even replace it for her as it's a style that is hard to get hold of.

I've repaired it as best I can (the straps have been melted) but of course it's not the same, and she has no idea who could have done it - the only time it's not secure or with her is during PE, so it has to be another girl in her class really.

She'd probably get on with my DD, OK. Mine has lots of friends to talk to, but no one like her so far. She's bright and loves anime, reading and drama. I've gone down the route of telling her it doesn't matter and that it is still early days.

Oh oklumber I completely understand where you are coming from and how you feel. I can't sleep tonight because I feel anxious and worried that ds is not going to fit in and make friends. Ds is so innocent in some respects and I guess seems less cool and immature then his peers because he's not interested in football or looking at sex/porn because he knows he is too young to look at it. He is into his own things but seems to struggle to find those who are similar.

Things are up and down with my DD (she has no-one from primary).

I'm immensely proud of her organisation skills. She's on top of her homework and timetable and is up before me packing her bag etc. She had lots of positive points from her teachers on our parent school website. also pleased she has joined a netball club, drama club and bug hotel club (?).

However, socially she's still a bit wobbly. She has made friends with people who are in different tutor groups and has a few tentative connections with her tutor group. She seems to chat equally to the boys and the girls. She just says things that break my heart like - "when do you think I'll find my proper friends who are like me?" Or "there's the popular girls in my tutor, but I don't know why they're popular. Why can't I be popular?"

I'm worried because my dd doesn't seem very 'typical' of a nearly 12 yr old. She's incredibly mature in her likes - BBC drama, stand up comedy, politics etc. She had friends in primary but they never truly understood her properly. I'm worried she's destined to always be a bit out of step.

Dh thinks I worry too much and I probably do, however in the one to who dd expresses everything from worries, insecurities and thoughts. I absorb them all like a sponge.

Just when I think ds is settling and making friends it all goes tits up again. A boy he was getting friendly with all of sudden seems too cool for school and has been with another lad trying to get ds to swear and watch porn errrghh. It seems such a shame as they were getting on so well. Ds is sensitive and whilst I always moan he has no common sense he does seem to have good morals and a grown up attitude telling them no thanks it's gross. He has also been paired with another boy from his primary who seems to rub others up the wrong way which then effects him but he feels loyal to that friend. Ds was badly bullied in primary so I just feel like crying :-( he is a lovely boy but maybe too nice for his own good

Yes I'll be telling her to keep her phone out of sight from now on. From what I dd has told me this boy is a bit nasty and one of the girls who was laughing has already had a falling out with dd so I think they are just a bit like that in general. She has made a couple of good friends who are really nice which helps. None of her friends walk the same way as her but it is just half a mile or so along a main road and lots of other kids walk the same way so it's as safe as it can get really.

Titsy, how bitchy of that boy to make that comment and of the girls to laugh. Has your dd got nice kids at the school to hang out with? I suppose you always get a minority of horrible kids in each class, but hopefully your dd will build up a nice, supportive group to hang out with over time.

Horrible about the mugging. Does your dd have anyone to walk to and from school with?

Oh titsy, that is a worry.

I would say - no phone in hand on the street. If the motive is robbery, a phone is pretty much all that a school kid has to steal.

So dd said she was teased for the first time today. They had to write a list of 3 jobs they would like to do and for one of them she put model. One of the girls to saw it and "ooh" and started laughing as did another girl. One of the boys said "your eyebrows are too bushy and you'd have to wear foundation". She has acne that she's embarrassed about and her eyebrows are lovely and thick (think Cara Delavigne). She's a bit upset by the whole thing.

Also they found out that a girl was mugged outside the school at 4pm yesterday. Apparently someone came up to her with a knife and asked for her phone. It was right outside the school gates. Luckily the girl ran away and was fine but we got an email about it and the police are investigating. Dd walks home every day so it is a concern. We've been told to discuss with them how to keep themselves safe. Any ideas?

bearded - can you continue to support with organisation, but withdraw help with content?
I do think it takes some of them a LONG time to learn to be organised.
I sat next to dd on the sofa for ages on Tuesday night as she was doing art research and just found it so hard to be efficient. I was just saying, OK, chose the next one, move one, and the next, etc. Otherwise she would spend hours reading every little thing she looked at, the internet is just too big.

dd had a 'bring your parent to school' day yesterday, a chance, after school, for you to show your parents round and introduce them to your friends and their parents. Nice idea.
me -when letter first came home- shall I come?
dd - NO
me - a week later - shall I come ?
dd- NO
me on monday - shall I come?
dd - NO
me yesterday morning - shall I come?
dd - NO

2:30 pm - text from dd - please come, all the other parents are coming. Cue me frantically phoning round to find dd2 somewhere to go after school, and letting school know and me driving close to the wind to get there.

I knew she would want me there, I should just have organised it!

We are having a homework meltdown too. He has a ludicrous amount which isn't helped by the fact that he is very disorganised. I have been really helping hin over the last few weeks but I have told him that I won't continue to do so. He needs to learn how to do it and to a decent standard. He is perfectly capable just not ordered enough.
He has had a better day socially. He joined in with a games club and has another one to go to next week so hopefully he will find his feet.

DD seems to be settling down a bit. Helped by joining the Netball Team, track team and Gym club. Not many of her friends in primary were sporty, so she is making new friends that are.

Homework is still an issue and I'm getting irritated with her Maths teacher who marks answers wrong, but instead of explaining the question/answer then writes "research the right answer/right way to express this at home" - which leads to more angst because she can't do that if she doesn't know the starting point...

with the club thing, dd went to a club that started last week, and came home saying she had met her personality twin. I think it is the first person she has really clicked with.