Yr7 new starters

Hi all, my DS seems to of settled into Y7 a lot easier than we expected after a very turbulent Y6 in his old school (he has Aspergers). His new teachers have listened straight away to my concerns about possible dyslexia which was completely disregarded by his primary school due to him being too bright.

On the downside so far he has had his blazer burnt (by accident from what he tells us, he was more upset that we would have to find the money for a new one). There is another pupil who tends to home in on Ds during PE lessons and has hurt him twice, he has spoken to his PE teacher whom aside from using sarcasm about calling ambulances seems to of gotten on top of the situation but I will be going to speak to the PE teacher if it happens again.

We have already identified 2 members of staff who he may end up clashing with as the year progresses (one being the PE teacher) but I'm hoping this wont happen.

Can I ask, has anyone else been to a parents evening yet? I have read through the important dates and there doesn't seem to be a parents evening for Y7 only the mention of an induction evening is this the same thing??

I owuld take it from the perspective - we were delighted to see he is doing well in his maths - what do they do with kids who have already covered/understood the curriculum?? So asking it as a question, and then maybe coming in a little stronger if you aren't happy with the reply.

There is another thread going at the moment about spectacularly low levels of math teaching in year 7, so I wouldn't be complacent.

On the other hand, ds went ot a grammar. He did extra level 6 classes in year 6 and got a level 6 in maths. He then spent a lot of year 7 repeating what was covered in the level 6 curriculum. That wouldn't bother me so much, as I felt in retrospect that the whole level 6 thing was a waste of everyone's time.

Our school has a very sensible policy of no half term or holidays homework in KS3. (I just hope the teachers stick to it.)

I'm praying there is very little homework as we go on holiday on Saturday and won't be back until very late the following Saturday night. She does have some maths and science revision but hopefully we can squeeze some in before we go.

Oh I hadn't even thought about homework over half term

We are off to Holland to visit relatives, and then dd has a scouts pgl holiday on the last weekend.

Both arranegs ages ago, and now I am kicking myself as I should have remembered how tired she would be.

Half term is coming up here, is it the same everywhere? I hope they don't get too much homework, so they have a chance for a proper break.

RonSwanson - I think a lot of kids really struggle in year 7. It is quite normal to feel overwhelmed and that the school is too big etc. It does take a long time to properly settle down, months rather than weeks.

I remember ds going back at the beginning of year 8 and thinking just how much had changed in a year.

Dd finally started to find like minded people in 2 places, 1. was the archery club which is a lunchtime club. Much smaller group, all who want to be there, and she got chatting to someone.

1. was in the library. She spends most lunchtimes in the library, as she says - books and computers - what's not to like? But it is a place where a lot of the quieter girls go, and hang out and do some home work (definitely takes the pressure off doing it at home). It is a calm friendly speace, and the librarian is there, so a safe adult is around too.

I wonder if there is something similar for your dd? Some way of finding a smaller group, less intimidating, which then makes school feel less huge and anonymous.

I know it is ard to watch them struggle, but it really is early days, not even half term. Give lots of support, plan lie in and relaxed fun over half term and keep giving hugs.

Thanks bearded and everyone else who suggested I emailed dd's form tutor.

I sent a shortish email this morning to say dd was finding the school work easy but socially quite difficult. The tutor replied straight away (!) - fairly short, agreeing that dd was doing very well academically. She isn't the only pupil in the form feeling like this and she will look at way the class is organised. She will also chat to dd today, but reassured me she's doing the right things.

I must have been more anxious than I thought because just from that short email I burst into tears!

We've had the same with DT homework (DT?!!! FFS!). Had 2 lots and has taken us about 2 hours for each. Its awful, boring, pointless, far too advanced and has put DD off the subject for life. I don't understand the rationale behind it at all. Anyway, one more week to half-term!

oklumberjack I emailed ds' form tutor with something along the lines of "ds is finding the transition from primary to secondary quite hard. We were wondering if you could offer us some insight into how he is getting on within the school environment".
She got back to us very quickly and her reply was overwhelmingly positive and really gave me some reassurance. We also had his half term grades back which were truly brilliant and have hopefully inspired some confidence in him.
He has had a mammoth day of homework today. He doesn't complain abut doing it but if he actually got on with it then it would take half the time. His chemistry homework however was completely inappropriate and he hasn't done half of it. They are working from a GCSE textbook. He was instructed to read a couple of pages and then answer the questions on them. Except that the answers weren't obviously in the text (i.e. they described a similar experiment to the one in the text but not the same one) and he is an 11 year old boy who has had approximately 5 hours of chemistry lessons in his entire life. Neither dh or I could do it, it made me really cross as he is now anxious about not completing his homework.

Maybe persist until Christmas and see how she's going then? Would it be possible to mention her difficulties to her form tutor?

Could you ask if they have any lunchtime groups for kids who are finding it hard to settle in? Does she find it boring because the work is too easy or too hard?

Can I be a latecomer? Dd hates her secondary, finds it overwhelming and boring at the same time.

She has plenty in friends and is not crying (anymore).

Dreads going in but gets herself organised and there on-time etc.

I know this is a massive change for her but how can I help her be more positive? She's such a home-bird and isn't very motivated about anything - no hobbies or clubs outside school.

She's an (early) summer baby and is a worrier, feels school is too big (came from a smallish primary).

She's very happy at home but just does not like it at school

I given her lots of support and we've talked it over. Said I completely understand where she's coming from and it's totally normal to be overwhelmed etc. I've said that lots of her friends will be feeling exactly the same as her and that it's only early days.

I'm a bit stuck, really. I'm just wondering if home-ed would be the answer but I don't want her to miss out on the social side, nor the quality of the school (it's OFSTED outstanding and a really desirable secondary).

Guess we just need to ride the storm?

DD has spent today with her friend from primary who is still in year 6, and is in a great mood. I think its reminded her there is a life outside of school.

oklumberjack - the form tutors do have lots to do, yes - but it wouldn't hurt to send an email something along the lines of "minilumberjack seems to have a few worries about making friends, please could you keep an eye on her".

As an ex-year-7-form-tutor I would say that it's not uncommon for them to appear completely and totally fine at school, and be bottling up all the niggles and anxiety to unload on parents (often mum) when they get home.

DD has had a much better week, no homework tantrums, no complaints about boring lessons, buzzing about learning more stuff in French and the 'brilliant' science lesson when they burnt loads of stuff

Last Sat I let her go to town with a new group of friends. First time ever and I was a nervous wreck! She was also quite nervous because she only really 'knew' one of them from netball.

She came back very happy and I think that was a bit of a turning point; that she didn't have to rely on old friends to be happy. I really didn't want her to go, but I'm glad I did.

Fingers crossed that this week is the same.

Hemel, I'm hoping its normal as my dd feels the same. She has made a few friends (hardly none in her tutor group though) but feels she hasn't found anyone who gets her even remotely. She's also worried she won't 'fit'. She's bright, witty and quite mature in her likes. She's said she's not had to chance to 'be herself' yet.

We're close and she tells me everything she thinks and feels. I think I'm absorbing it all too much as I feel like a sponge full of anxiety at the moment!

I thought of emailing her form tutor but have no idea a)what I'm asking for and b) what on earth to say. I'm sure they have enough to do!

Hemel yes it is normal. Year 7 is really tough for friendships, making new ones, changing old ones, fitting in, or not.
That on top of the big change to secondary school, it's hard.

My boy has found a new friend in his form, they are bonding over a mutual terror of being hit by the rugby ball in PE.

Homework is up and down here, some bits are no problem, he's racing through maths and science, but planning creative writing arrghhh. He's currently spending all morning avoiding some language homework as he has to record a conversation on an app, and he hates anything requiring any sort of performance. We're now at 2 hours and counting, if he just got on with it would be a five minute job tops.

My DD is generally doing ok but I feel the same re new friendships. She has made friends but she doesn't feel that they are "real" friends and was in tears tonight because she is worried that she'll never make friends like she had in primary school. I feel so sorry for her. She's lovely, funny, clever and is generally good at fitting in but is finding trying to establish herself with like minded folk really hard. This is normal isn't it?

Yes, the homework is huge (my dd not at grammar but comp). I've been astounded by the things the teachers have asked for so early on. My dd is fine with the level but even she is beginning to struggle with time.

Sorry to hear about your daughters bag Eve. They absolutely need to act on it. If someone set fire to it they are very lucky it didn't escalate.
We have the whole clown thing here too. It doesn't seem to have affected ds' school but our local one has been in the paper for the last few days. I find it very bizarre.

Ds is really struggling still. Socially I think things have settled down. Academically though he is finding it tough. He is at a grammar. He turned 11 in August and is quite emotionally immature. He didn't do very well in a test the other day and all the others did better than him. It was in a subject he was quite strong at but the test was in his weakest area. It has blown his confidence.
They are piling on homework. We went to the theatre last night. Ds had done a fantastic job of organising his homework so he didn't have any to do but one of his teachers set some yesterday to be in today. He didn't manage to finish it so I have sent a note in with him.
He is so utterly exhausted. He has a sport which he does at a high level. He trains approx 10 hrs per week and it is all starting to get to him. Roll on half term when he can have a rest!