Yr7 new starters

The language is fairly grim, boy is much swearier since starting high school. He shouldn't be aiming that language "at" someone though, if you see what I mean - so yes I'd have a word.

Boy said to me this evening "I have eleven friends!" - this is great, as he didn't really have any at primary school (small class, they all got on well enough, but nobody he really clicked with).

Yes the constant assessment is happening here too, it's more to do with assessing the teachers than helping the students, sadly.

So DD is doing a bit better and seems to have found some friends again - hopefully these ones will stick! I'm struggling to get her to put in the effort when it comes to homework but after a lot of nagging she is getting there. She is having KAP exams this week and next (they have them every term to check their attainment which seems a bit OTT - is this normal in secondaries now?). She is not keen on the revision and it is a constant bore getting her to do anything. The English exam is a question from a GCSE paper about children in Victorian England and using Jane Eyre and Oliver Twist to prove how depressing their existance was. There seems to be a fair bit of setting GCSE questions which feels a bit like setting them up to fail!

The form tutor replied when I emailed him to say she was having friendship issues but not much happened - luckily it sorted itself out. However she told me yesterday that the boy who sits next to her in form room calls her a cunt and a retard which shocked me and I'm not sure whether to tell the form tutor or not. The boy has just been diagnosed with diabetes and seems to be struggling but he is so horrible to her. She isn't upset by it but the language he is using is so offensive that I think he should be pulled up on it?

Teacher sounds a) inexperienced or b) a bit inflexible - Year 7s are often very busy with extra-curricular stuff and consequently I always used to give them more than one night to do a piece of homework.

Sad your son had to miss his training though when others didn't bother.

Four weeks left here. Had a bit more homework to do this weekend, including the dreaded "make a model of a castle". Boy is doing his in Minecraft, on the basis that nobody said it had to be a real model.

I've just seen form tutor for a quick chat, all seems fine.
Anyway, he's getting on OK still, only gripe from me (and him) atm is extra-curricular music lessons, which are a bit crap for various reasons, unfortunately had to pay for the whole term up front.

We just had our first parent evening for dd in yr 7. Can I just ask is it normal in high school that you don't get to speak to the form tutor at these evenings? It's set up so that parents stay at a table and then the various teachers come to you. We saw a lot of teachers but the one I would have liked to chat with to see how she's settling in didn't come to us. Maybe I should take it that she didn't have any concerns.

Teen I'd contact the school, I would think that English is an important lesson not to miss, particularly 3 times.

Does the school have any guidelines on how long homework should take? Boy's school has a published handbook that says year 7s should have approx 40 minutes English homework per week.

Maybe put a time limit on it, after 40 minutes stop, and write a note to teacher explaining the circumstances in her book.

DD's just had a strop about English homework.

We finally got to the bottom of it (and why there was so much). It turns out she missed an English lesson for a 'social communication skills' intervention (which we had agreed to but didn't know what lessons would be missed for it). So not only did she have to do the homework, but also the written work they had done in class.

Even that wouldn't be too bad, apart from the fact that she has poor motor skills and finds writing difficult and tiring and achy. So in her eyes she has a mountain of work to do. And the teacher said it had to be neat.

Trying to work out whether to contact the SENCO to discuss the pros and cons of missing a core subject for the intervention. Probably the most important subject for her to not miss, as maths I can catch her up with at home if needed. On the other hand, the intervention is only half a term, so on a fortnightly timetable it will only be 3 English lessons she actually misses. (But also 3 History which she rather enjoys).

Thanks everyone. I've emailed her form tutor to say how unhappy she is and to ask for his help. She spent break alone today :( It was all going so well too...

Titsywoo, they do deal with friendship dramas in Y7 as my DD had problems when she first started high school. Even now (Y10) i'd email her form teacher or HOY if she was having friendship issues as pastoral care is a big thing for them.

Titsywoo I did a lot of dealing with friendship dramas when I was a year 7 tutor, either in a more general way with the whole form in PSHE lessons, or in more specific ways with those having difficulty. Year 7 is a hard year for friendships and every year towards the end of this term as the novelty wore off and the tiredness kicked in we'd have some massive falling outs. 11 / 12 year olds can be really unpleasant to each other and sometimes very thoughtless, in some cases the " how would that make you feel if someone said / did that to you?" chat would be helpful. Other times I would encourage them to broaden their friendship groups a bit, particularly those who had come from the same primary. Anyway, I'm rambling, but do let the tutor know.

Sorry i realised that wasn't clear "Is there any help available?" was what i was suggesting you ask the teacher when mentioning the other stuff.

Yes there probably is help. I know she often goes to a place they have in break and lunchtimes where you can chat about anything that is upsetting you or bullying/teasing. She spends quite of bit of her time there already.

I'll see how she gets on tomorrow then will call her form tutor.

No, more general. That she is finding settling in stressful and overwhelming/feeling anxious because of friendship issues/other reasons. Is there any help available?

But what do I say simpson? DD's friend has been turned against her by another kid and she is upset? Surely they don't deal with friendship dramas?

Sorry for your DS too. How horrible for him :(

Thanks whirly - I just started another thread asking if it is normal for year 7's to be this over dramatic. It's constant at the moment and really doing my head in. I feel like it will never settle down and I know she won't be concentrating properly with all this going on around her.

Titsywoo I think sometimes we need to remember we're looking at all this from an adult viewpoint and with the benefit of a lot of hindsight. They're just behaving like the immature 11 year olds they are. That sounds hard for your dd but also very normal, my niece has experienced very similar just this week but all was resolved the next day.

Ds has been hit and kicked today by the boy who was originally a friend but now appears to be an enemy. Being socially immature, it took ds way longer than it should have to realise they weren't compatible, and he chased (literally) this other lad for his friendship to the point of completely irritating him.

He took himself off to pastoral to discuss it all and thankfully now seems very chilled out about it. I'm going to contact his form tutor tomorrow as I think a gentle chat from him might help.

This is all so gut wrenching.