Yr7 new starters

Dd was tearful tonight. Tired and overwhelmed, she said she wanted to stop out of school activities as she didn't think they were for her anymore.
She had a pep talk and went to bed a little happier.

It's a tricky time for all of them.

It's tough going. They just need to hand in there until they get to know their way round.

Day 2 at new school. DD burst into tears this evening saying it's too hard and she wants to go back to primary school. She thinks she'll never find her way around, she feels expected to stand on her own two feet from day 1 and is not confident in her ability to do that. I think she has actually enjoyed her lessons so far, and the girls so far are nice. I gave her a pep talk, it seemed to help a bit. I know (hope) it will improve and I'm not totally surprised we are where we are, she was very happy at primary school with a lovely set of friends who've all gone to different schools. It's hard though.

It seems ok although ds is only one of two boys from yr 7. The only ones seem to go through things with them which is good. Ds didn't have great friends and was bullied. He is quite sensitive boy but lovely maybe too lovely and nieve though for his own good

Oh that's great to hear Titsy yeah the whole teenage girl friendship fun to look forward to.
My DD didn't have great friends at primary school either, am hoping because there's more girls to pick from as it were, this will improve...

Oh Fern that's tough. I would definitely speak about that mean buddy though - that's rubbish.
Simson - you're so right re finding like-minded people, these early days can feel brutal!
Dickory, no my DDs school doesn't - how is it working out?

DD has asked me to ask her form tutor to look out for her, so I will drop him an email tonight - and to say thanks for his help today - it had a big impact.

Ah sorry some of your DC are struggling. DD got on ok. She met some girls at induction which she ended up finding again this morning which is good. Hopefully they will stay friends - she had so many friendship issues at primary that it would be nice to have a group of friends that are stable (teenage girls - yeah right!). Anyway she had a DT lesson which she said was boring - doesn't sound like they actually did anything though - and IT which ended up being a bit nothing as the log ins weren't working! But she walked home by herself ok. Fingers crossed the lessons improve tomorrow - she has maths and music first thing :)

I've literally been clock watching all day thinking about what he is doing or who he is with. Does anyone else have mixed year tutor groups??

Yes, I've spoken to her form tutor but I'm not sure how much they can do? They can't force people to be friends with my DD. They had buddied her up with two girls, one of which is actually being a bit mean to her - running away when she asks to sit next to her in a lesson, moving away from her to sit with someone else in the library, refusing to be partners with her in PE... I just feel so sad at the thought of it all.

(hugs) simpson and fern

glad to hear the yr 7 head was on the case simpson.
Fern have you spoken to the school?
Geranium good to hear your staff are good.

I never imagined I would feel so bad for DD.

all

Ah so sorry for all the children having settling in problems, but it's inevitable really isn't it - it's bad enough if they are with a group of friends from primary because of the massive difference in the school buildings, the timetables, different teachers etc etc but if they're struggling to make friends, it's so much worse. BUT I hope you can all take heart that it's very early days (literally) and the friendship groups will settle down and re-group over time (especially the girls!) I think the boys are less likely to have "besties" as they are called these days and just have a group of friends. Yazz I'm sure your boy will find someone who wants to be his friend - he only needs 1 or 2 for now. And simpson so sorry for your boy too but I honestly think by half term (I know it seems an age away) they will have settled in and got used to secondary. Before you know it you will be stressing over GCSEs or is it back to 'O' levels now?

Not going at all well here. DD hating every minute. All linked to having no friends. Feel desperately sad for her.

Yes, there's been a few weepy ones at dd's but the staff seem very good. And the majority of the year 7s are all looking after each other. Dd tells me that the year 11s up are very friendly too. Will be so glad when this week has finished though!

Thanks v much Geranium. It is isn't it? She said she cried in form time today and her tutor took her out and asked if she was ok etc and was nice to her. Another girl in her form cried and apparently she saw someone else in the school crying which ironically has actually made her feel better - I've been telling her others are nervous too - and now she believes me. I think I will drop her form tutor an email though...

It's hard. Mine's been up and down like a yoyo. Have a word tomorrow and see what they say, colouring. Dds school runs nurture groups and all sorts to help children settle in.

Emotional roller coaster here. My dd started yr 7 yesterday. She's overwhelmed by the volume of people compared to her little primary, and she's been in tears on goodbye both mornings. She is more sensitive and anxious than average so wondering whether to speak to school tomorrow. She's been fine over the hols so thought she'd got her head round it.... I got excited when I picked her up yesterday as she was smiling - turns out that was only because she was so happy to be out! Finding this sooooo hard.

Just found this. Dd started Friday and is thoroughly enjoying herself. She is one of the fastest runners in her class and top set for maths (the only subject set so far) and is becoming more confident by the day.
She's joined some clubs already and is generally throwing herself into school life.

Yazz-it can be difficult making new friends. My advice to my dc has been to join clubs that match their interests and they will meet like minded people. Both my ds are older and they now have very strong friendship groups after Rocky starts.
The library is also a good place to go as quite often that's where quieter, shy children head to.

Hope he has a better day today.

Oh Yazz poor thing I hope your son has a better time today. My ds hates football so slightly worried about that and fitting in. I feel sick this morning keep looking at my watch

DH walked DD to the gate for her first day. He said she immediately waved at a group of girls she had met at induction and ran off so good start - let's hope it continues. It feels like a big day and DH is just on his way to hand in his notice as he has a offer at a much better company. I feel like I need a change in my life as well - might start looking for a new job too! So much change, no wonder I had a classic anxiety dream last night

steppemum get her to put her train ticket etc in her bag coats will change but her school bag will always be with her.

Ds1 is about to go into year 9 so we have had a few years at this. I think you need to talk to your Dd about what she would have done if your Dh wasn't with her and she realised she had no train ticket. Hence why I suggested the bag.

Ah this took me back. My DGD started Yr 7 knowing absolutely no-one - all the primary school yr 6 went to a different school. It's an all girls school and some of them had been together since they were 3(!) nursery/reception and junior, so the friendship groups were well established. She made friends with another new girl, but she was only there for one term! She didn't say anything at the time but now (she's just gone into Yr 12) she talks of having a tough time making friends, but it all turned out ok in the end. She's not one to push herself but her confidence has grown so much since Yr 7 (as you might expect!)

I hope all your sons and daughters do well but remember to give them time to settle - especially with the girls in terms of the friendship groups. My DIL is a deputy head in a primary school but always taught year 6 and she said there was always falling in and out with the girls and making up the next day etc etc. Less of a problem with boys I think.

I can't remember my sons transferring to secondary as it was almost 40 years ago!!

my sons 2nd day in high school . tried.to make friends by going up to them and introducing self and asking their name. totally ignored him and walked off to group of boys from primary instead. He's totally upset and in tears and does not want to go to school. he wants to be with his old friends . Plus his school insist he wears his jumper and blazer at all times even in hot weather. he has a migraine yesterday because he had 4 layers of clothing on.

steppemum - glad she had a good day. DD1 (now year 10) also despairs of girls who talk about nothing but shopping, so she's not alone! Hope she manages to seek out the other girls who are fed up of fashion talk. They are bound to be out there!