Yr7 new starters

Thanks everyone for your advice! in the end DS spoke to the form tutor himself about clubs. She has arranged for him to join a couple, which at least takes up a couple of lunch times. He has a better day today. He managed to join in a conversation with some of his classmates about phone games today, which is a big step. He seems quite a bit happier, if very tired. I will still email the form tutor to ask her to keep an eye on him (thanks for the reassurances pps!). The school has an associated junior school, so more than half of the children know each other really well, which makes things tricky for 'proper' new boys.

Titsy / Colouring / other pps... I feel for all of the DC being stressed and having to get used to a commute. They seem so young to be dealing with such things

Yoohoo - yes to being drained! It is worse than starting a new job myself!

Yes she seems to be but they haven't streamed them yet so that may change. In each lesson they are sat with certain people every time so she is only getting to properly meet maybe 8 people from her class as she often gets sat with the same boy who isn't too talkative. I thought they might mix things up a bit so they could all get to know each other.

Titsy there will be someone for her there, she just has to find them. It's hard to start with though, I know. Is she with the same class for all lessons? My son is in a tutor group for registration but that is not the same as the groups he has for lessons.

Ergh I spoke too soon. Dd said she can't be herself with her new friends because they find her weird and run off so she is having to act normal around them. She does seem to have mainly kids who went to primary together in her class so is struggling to fit into established friendship groups. I've told her to try talking to some of the other kids and to go to some lunchtime clubs. Hopefully she will find someone on her wavelength soon :(

Colouring yes me. I feel very sad that my DS is up and down but trying not to show it. Plus friends arent very supportive or interested as their DC are doing "brilliantly". Im going to email the tutor if it continues. Colouring they will get there but may just take a little time

Dd still struggling here too. Upset again this morning saying school's too stressful and too far away from home. She did manage to pluck up courage and tell her form tutor how stressful she's finding it and sounded like he was reassuring.

Anyone else finding this situation draining? I've been so exhausted today...

Titsywoo the Cooper run is an annual ritual at my daughters' school, too. I was really worried in year 7 when DD1 started complaining about serious leg pains. It turned out she had simply never exercised hard enough to experience lactic acid before!

I'm sure it's very "character building" !

Sorry some DC are still struggling :( I'm hoping by half term this will become their new normal and they will be less shell-shocked by the whole experience! DD said today that it was far more stressful than primary.

DD called me this afternoon to ask me to pick her up because she was "in so much pain". Turns out they did something called the Cooper test in PE where they had to run for 12 minutes without stopping to assess their fitness. DD managed to do a mile but said some people did a lot less and a few were crying. Oh dear . She has now recovered from her terrible ordeal .

She had her first science lesson today and said it was very funny. They learned about reproduction which apparently meant they spent the whole hour giggling about words such as vagina .

[Sad] I am getting texts at work from DD2 saying she wants to come home, saying she's lost stuff, saying she's sad. She started pretty well but is now totally overwhelmed. I'll speak to her tutor but i wish i could wave a magic wand for her.

Just had to pick DS up from School :( they said all morning he has felt hot headache and tummy pains, he'd been 3 times to see them (pupil liaison) they did say they try and keep pupils in class and did ask if everything was ok as he is a new starter. He did have a bit of a wobble last Wedn night a bit of a cry but I think it was just everything overwhelming him and since then he has been fine and we have kept an eye on him.

He did look abit peaky when I picked him up and was a little hot but it is warm today but we got home he went and got his packed lunch from his bag and ate it and seemed "ok".

I did ask if there was anything else but he said no. See what bedtime tonight brings :( :(

I agree. The form tutor will expect the odd teething problem and want to help. I'm a year 8 parent and i emailed dd's form tutor at the beginning of year 7 about a worry she had and she was very helpful and happy to help. The thing is not to abuse it and constantly badger about unimportant things. You don't sound like you would do that anyway.
Re the jumper and blazer in a heatwave that someone mentioned. Dd's winter uniform is compulsory jumper and blazer too. Last year it wasn't a problem as it was cooler. It's been in the high 20s since they went back this year though and i told dd to keep her jumper in her bag after the first day and take her blazer off if hot at school and no one has said anything. I've been at the school (comp) long enough to know that the teachers there are reasonable, normal people and are not going to tell a hot child to put a jumper on in a heatwave. I probably would have worried more last year though, so you could phone reception to check? We belatedly got an update yesterday pm to say blazers and jumpers not needed in the heatwave anyway.

To anyone worried about being "that parent" - in my experience as a year 7 tutor I was aware of the change from primary to secondary and absolutely did want to hear about:

• children who were anxious
• children struggling to make friends
• children feeling left out

Taggie, I would definitely email the form tutor. You won't be 'that' parent at all. They will have done this loads of times before. At the very least they could help him access the clubs he's like to join.

We can all hand hold together. My dd was one of 2 pupils going from her primary school. The school gave thought they were helping by putting them together in a tutor group. The thing is, my dd has always found the other girl intently irritating and they have nothing in common. My dd has been polite enough but is finding her old primary friend harder to manage than making new friends! I think it's more of a hindrance.

I'm still anxious about dd but I hope she's getting there. She's made a few connections but nowhere near 'lots' of new friends. Dd is normally very inwardly confident and is into comedy and impressions. She's joining the Netball club but is holding back joining drama club. I'm trying to back of and let her do it her way.

It's hard to see them not quite themselves yet though. It will just take time I'm sure.

He hasn't done PE yet though, that's going to be the tricky bit as he is hopelessly uncoordinated like his mother. I'm hoping things have moved on a bit since I was at school and he won't spend too much time being picked last for teams.

Taggie the form tutor won't mind you emailing, they'd rather know there is a problem so they can help, and will be able to sort the clubs out for him (ex year 7 form tutor here ).

My boy is doing ok so far I think, apart from one trip to collect him last week when he couldn't find his way out of the building and missed the bus home.

i don't get a lot of information out of him apart from what he had for lunch, he is really enjoying the food.

yes email form tutor.
They are very aware that this is a huge step up and that some manage it better than others. They want the kids to settle and be happy, so they will find ways of encouraging and supporting him.
At the veyr least he/she may be able to get him into one of the clubs.

I would email. At least then an eye could be kept on DS.
I have had to email quite a lot due to my ds being injured at school.
I have found you do need to know who to email. A named person got quicker response than general school email. Eg, Head of House or form tutor.
Good luck!

Hope you don't mind me joining in the thread but I could really do with some advice/hand holding.

DS1 started Y7 last week. He was very tearful this evening. He says no-one has spoken to him since he started, except to answer direct questions. He doesn't think he will ever make any friends. I have tried to reassure him, but he is quite young for his age and can have trouble fitting in. He didn't have friends in Y6 and he was hoping for a fresh start (he is the only one from his old school). I think he has tried really hard to be positive and friendly.

He didn't manage to join any clubs as he got confused and missed the signing up session, which makes it more tricky.

I could email his form tutor, but I don't want to make things worse for him by getting labelled as 'that parent'.

My DD loved running around and playing Harry Potter in year 6. I think it's a real shame that at secondary there is not the time to play like this and the fact that it's not cool. It's another stage in growing up.

DD2 is happy to sit and chat, but i remember DD1 (now in yr10) being really frustrated that no-one else wanted to run around at break times. Unless you play football, and are male, it seems active breaks become a thing of the past.

Joining clubs seems to be her main method of beating boredom - or going to the library and getting rid of homework so she can do something more interesting after school.

Ours have a library they can use at lunchtime.

I feel sorry for dd today though. It's so hot and they have to wear their very thick jumper and blazer unless the teacher says they can take it off. And some teachers are nicer than others it seems!

To be honest the breaktimes are so short they don't seem to do much! Break is 20 mins and they sit and chat while eating their snack then lunch is 45 mins and the canteen is tiny considering the size of the school so after queuing for 10 mins and eating it's nearly time to go back. The people who do the lunchtime clubs must all have packed lunches.