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Original poster

Bright child, zero effort, mediocre grades - how best to handle?

32 replies

Noitsnotteatimeyet · 25/08/2016 19:29

Ds2's GCSE results are decidedly mediocre (actually worse than his mocks which is quite an achievement).

He's very bright but just can't be arsed. His minimum target grades were a couple of As, with all the rest A apart from a B for English (which he's always hated). His aspirational targets (what his teachers thought he was perfectly capable of getting) were all A apart from A for English. He's been in top sets in a generally high-achieving comprehensive so there are plenty of hard-working children around.,,

His actual results are no A*, 3 As, 4 Bs, 2 Cs, 1D and a U. Two of the As are in subjects he wants to do at A-level but his third A-level will probably be a subject in which he got a B.

He has given a sum total of zero fucks over the last two years. Every bit of coursework had to be cajoled out of him with teachers stretching deadlines to the limit. He point blank refused to go to any of the extra revision sessions laid on and all in all has simply not engaged.

Technically he is fine to go onto the next stage as his school accepts pupils onto A-level courses with a B but I worry that he's given himself an uphill take to get decent results in maths and sciences with so much of the GCSE curriculum misunderstood by him.

I have been quite pissed off with him today purely because of the lack of effort, waste of potential and general 'am I bovvered?' attitude

How can we get over this and turn things round for sixth form?

OP posts:
TheGruffaloMother · 25/08/2016 22:49

I was one of these. After I was predicted all As and As and both my parents and teachers started behaving like those were the grades I had* to get, I switched off. Didn't revise for a thing. I was doing 13 GCSEs and I imagine that the workload to get 11 As doesn't look much smaller. If 2 years worth of your efforts haven't inspired him to put all that work in then I'd suggest you take a step back and try to put up a supportive front rather than pushing for the best. It sounds like he's done well enough to do what he wants to do at A level. 11 As worth of extra effort may have been his idea of 'fuck that' when his more laid back attitude was good enough.

senua · 25/08/2016 22:48

How can we get over this and turn things round for sixth form?

You don't. You provide all necessary assistance but, really, it's up to him. It's part of the growing up process. He's a child in KS4, he's a grown-up at University. KS5 is a halfway house where he has to somehow work out what being an adult means.
Give him space. Lots of space, it can take all of the two years.

EwanWhosearmy · 25/08/2016 22:31

My DS was worse Sad. mediocre GCSEs then zero effort for AS after which he dropped out. Took no notice of anything we said. Now he is 23 and waking up to the realisation that most jobs need A levels. No-one to blame but himself.

BennyTheBall · 25/08/2016 20:35

I have 2 of these!

DS 1 did brilliantly in GCSE - all A* and A, then fucked up his AS with A, C, D, D.

He has just got into uni however with BBB. He is SO much more capable than these results suggest, but at least he got there on minimal effort.

His younger brother (14) is brighter and even less motivated. I am hoping the lure of uni and seeing it when we drop off his brother will motivate him.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 25/08/2016 19:54

Miss Margie is right, trying to find his motivation by looking at possible open day university courses does help a lot of students who otherwise have no fucks to give.

MissMargie · 25/08/2016 19:47

Going to open days at unis seemed to wake my DCs up- seeing the students, the accomm made it seem real. Is he old enough for that?

Princecharlesfirstwife · 25/08/2016 19:41

I lived with the king of zero fucks for 2 years - DS actually did very well at GCSE and then fell to the very bottom of the zero fuck well by September of Yr 12 (i.e. in the 2 week period between getting his GCSE results and starting his A level course).

If there's any advice i could give you it would be that, quite honestly, if they don't want to work they won't. No amount of cajoling, shouting, bribing, making them stay in their bedroom, telling them their life will be ruined etc etc will change anything. If they want to work they will. If they don't they won't. It was a tough couple of years for us and our relationship survived by the skin of its teeth.

Maybe A'levels aren't his thing ever. Maybe they're not his thing just yet. Maybe he'll turn it around and surprise you. I think you just have to be there to support and advise gently in his own decision making.

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