What benefit would private education give my DD?

Regarding connections and work experience, I think it completely depends on sector, the age of the person and the length of placement.

Some smacks of pointlessness, some looks impressive and definitely helps with employment.

The prestige element (or alternatively something unusual and interesting) can be an element and without doubt contacts help here ( though they don't have to be via school).

As someone else has pointed out, sending one child to private school and not the other is a recipe for disaster. trust me, I was that child, and my brother hated me for it well into adult life.

I give up on corrections!

I meant to type that the idea that the idea is misguided but the gist was pretty clear.

OP bleedingnora is spot on about the inequity of what you're proposing.

Also, while some - or even many - indies are superb, too many parents attending others fall for the marketing bumph and then make sweeping generalizations about the state sector to justify in their own minds their hefty investment.

I think private education, in general, gives children more confidence and the expectations are higher. Most children are there to work and achieve (as a pose to just grinding it out..). Various families will be making sacrifices for their children to attend with the hope that they will come out with better opportunities in life. School life will be geared towards getting good GCSEs, good Alevels and getting into a good university.

DCs attend a local state primary and half of the teacher's energy goes into crowd control and trying to herd cats through SATS. Its difficult because there is such a wide range of abilities. In a private / independent school (especially all girls) (in my experience) children are better behaved and 90% are there to learn to there is alot more focus on the task and a lot less time on crowd control. Also many of these schools have an exam to get in so the academic spectrum is more narrow.
Its not about being better or feeling better than others its about having all the bits of paper you need to get to the university you want to so you can do the course you want to and the confidence in yourself to get there.
If you are going to spend the money make sure you do heaps of research to find the 'best' school for your child. There are schools where you can take your own pony, with lovely grounds etc but may not give you the academic output you are looking for.

Absolutely agree Needmoresleep, though with the caveat that many parents at independents will be nothing like as aspirational or successful as they are at your DCs' school. That said, the idea that having two 'prestigious names' on a DC's CV means nothing at all and can be positively harmful if the DC's school is well known and the DC is aspiring to certain types of (very competitive) job where conspicuous displays of privilege are not now regarded as cool.

I dont see it as connections, but as aspirations. DC have been friends with kids whose parents run things. Things like law firms, banks, Universities, hospitals, Ministries, major companies, hedge funds and so on. Their friends aspire to similar. Their parents went to top Universities, they aspire to the same. Their parents work hard, and they do as well.

Some of this "the sky's the limit", but to get there you need to put in the work, has rubbed off on DC. I guess people pick up similar at Oxbridge. I don't think there is any expectation that the old school tie will hold sway. But DC will leave school knowing they are as good as others, and there is no harm in aiming high.

OhTheRoses I saw nepotism working very effectively at high levels in the eighties; I don't need tuition in the 'real world'. But I can tell you for sure it's a double edged sword in today's world, and your gushing about your DS having two 'prestigious names on his CV' isn't showing an especially good grip of it, frankly.

Assuming that all the other personal attributes and qualifications are equal (which they rarely are) for the career paths in which wealthy professionals and clients play a part, 10 years at certain types of private schools will give more time than just university to meet and build a network of friendships and contacts. That has to be an advantage in that sort of career but IMO it happens a few years into building a career when merit is already in evidence rather than for initially getting the job.

And let's hope he continues to do well on his own merit with the support of his well connected friends.

My decorator has a lad working for him and he is signing up to the apprenticeship scheme. The lad is his wife's friend from church.

It happens at all levels. It's called living in the real world.

Well let's hope it's on his own merit in that case, rather than the very silly idea that two 'prestigious' names on his CV, from placements he didn't compete for, are going to impress anyone in a position to dole out decent jobs!

He's at uni. Where some of his close friends are the lads he's been with since he was 8. And making new ones.

He'll present the work experience/internships as he wishes.

I don't think there's any need to be so patronising. He's 21 and doing rather nicely.

My post was on the basis that you've mis-typed OhTheRoses and don't mean that you as parents have given work experience to your DS and are 'prestigious names'!! That would be even worse!!

OhTheRoses don't overrate these things. These sorts of work experience can backfire later on. Best that your DS doesn't mention them on the CV, especially if he's at an expensive indie. The only real point of doing work experience at a glamorous place or with a well known person is for the original purpose of work experience - to get a feel for what a particular work environment is like - because the world out there has become increasingly sniffy about work experience handed to kids on a plate. My DC have had some very useful experiences but have always omitted them from UCAS and job applications. Re. connections generally, I would think that school connections are less valuable than university connections tbh - the relationships seem to last longer.

The connections. My DC swear they don't count for anything and it's utter rubbish. I'm not so sure - those connections might not get them jobs and it might not be as naked as a generation or two ago. Nevertheless DS's circle contains some outstanding young people and I'm sure they will all continue to support each other with helpful introductions throughout life.

DS is just finishing his second lot of work experience due to his parents. He will likely do the same for his DC. I can't out him or us but he has two prestigious names on his CV.

The other thing is the confidence and ease of conversation it brings. Hard to put one's finger on.

The one difference between the comp and private school kids was the privately educated ones often lacked regional accents.
That made me smile! My OH was probably, once upon a time, very eloquent in public school language, but quickly forgot about it when he started working with local trade people! His vocabulary is now appalling and I constantly pick him up on it (I can't stand the use of 'me' instead of 'my') and English is my second language!

Pie
I don't think it is being interested in what Squiffy Watkins is doing, so much as knowing that Squiffy works as an investment banker/head of an ad agency/astronaut, and can give you advice on how to get into the same industry and what sort of work experience etc employers will be looking for. Hell, he might even be able to offer you an internship that gets your foot in the door... Or if work have just told you that you need to move to Hong Kong for 2 years, he might be able to introduce you to some people out there.

A school friend of mine has used school contacts to get investors and backers for her business, another who runs a wine company lays on the drinks at the networking events and gets people to sign up as customers of his company.

And the ubiquity of Facebook means actually a lot of people are very interested in what their school friends are now up to, and will make the occasional effort to see them to find out, not least if there is a potential career benefit to it.

There is a fine line between networking and nepotism, but there is no denying that it is useful

That's probably true, Bojo, re advice and networking. Think the days when going to the right school would in itself get you a job are long gone though.

Both DH and I did well at school he was privately educated and I wasn't. he did make it to Cambridge wheras I only made it to a Russell Group University.

DH is always being invited to alumni events and being asked for money by his old school and University. Mine leave me alone. If your interested in what Squiffy Watkins is doing 25 years after you left school go ahead and do it.

DH sis was sent to the state school because to quote DH she wasn't worth the investment as too dim in the mind of his parents. She is a horrible individual and I dislike her but even I can see how this hurt her. I do wonder if it's at the core of her bizarre behaviour.

DS attends the bog standard comp round the corner. I spent 25 years working In higher education. The one difference between the comp and private school kids was the privately educated ones often lacked regional accents.

I haven't RTFT but just based on your OP.

Please consider your other child.

My brothers were privately educated and if you had asked the 14 year old I was I would have said I wasn't bothered but as an adult....well I am seriously pissed off that the opportunity was not given to me.

I think that's true bojo.

It's all there is you want it. But you have to make the effort. Old boys and girls are not going to come and knock on your door .

I too am surprised by the lack of recognition on MN of alumni events and help that good independent schools offer. Maybe people have not bothered to join. My DD has already been to mentoring events to talk to 6th formers about a career in her profession and she only left the school 6 years ago. It is not a reason for choosing a school but should be an added bonus exactly as spare-change describes. I think some schools are better at it than others but if no past pupil or parent gives assistance to pupils in any way, then it is a bit of a shame because some pupils benefit a lot from this. My DD even benefitted from the links her school had with a notable boys' school and one boy's father has been a referee for her regarding professional registration. She bothered to network, but it was the schools that made the link in the first place.

I never said that going to a private school will mean you won't be able to adapt to other people. My husband is privately educated, I'm comp educated and we've ended up with very similar jobs dealing with similar people. However, he didn't go to private schooling to avoid the challenge of being with kids of different abilities. It's not the issue of private school vs comp but about already feeling at a very young age that if you are very clever, you will only thrive if interacting with similar minded children.

It all comes down to the school too as in my town, there is one very selective private school where the overall level of academic ability is significantly above average, but the other private schools have a same range of ability than some of the local state schools, with many parents of non academic kids picking private schooling because they feel they will get better pastoral care rather than for the academic side of it.

No, it was a co-ed school (Millfield)