Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Dd moving schools, current school wants her to stay until the end of this term

57 replies

lottielou7 · 28/05/2016 09:40

I posted a while back about the problems my dd has been having in her independent school and how I had decided to try to move her. These were issues affecting other people but having an impact on her, emotionally as there are only 20 students in the year. We went to look at one of the local schools which is very difficult to get a place at. All of our secondary schools are oversubscribed but this one is particularly so. She and I were both impressed with it when we had a tour and she was pleased with the art department too, which is important because she's exceptionally talented in that area. They have offered her a place to start after half term.

This has all come as a bit of a shock to her current school and I've been asked to go to a meeting with the head, but this will be after half term now. The head of year has said that moving dd after half term won't give her or her peers time to come to terms with the fact she's leaving.

It is a shame because she loves the teachers at this school (and was crying last night because she will miss them) but not the students so much. I think that speaks volumes though!

I feel it would be best for her to move after half term but I'm second guessing myself now because her current school wants her to stay at least until the end of term. Am I doing the right thing?

OP posts:
FishWithABicycle · 28/05/2016 10:40

Unless the new school is a private one you don't have an option - no state school will hold a place open for you - you would only be able to delay if there are no other takers - too big a risk for you to consider it.

The old school just isn't the right environment for your dd and they aren't going to be able to change the culture of the whole school sufficiently to make it so. Meanwhile it's much better for your dd to move now after half term - she can spend June settling in and getting her bearings in the new school and will be much better prepared to start y8 than she would be with a September move.

HamletsSister · 28/05/2016 10:33

If you leave it until the summer she won't have a chance to make new friends and summer plans with them. Move her now.

OddBoots · 28/05/2016 10:33

Now is the best time for her to move so do it without worrying about the school - that is their problem to clear up. If she has friends in her current school I am sure there are ways for her to see or speak to them out of school and those that are not her friends won't be worried either way, it's just the school worrying about reputation and others following suit.

Haggisfish · 28/05/2016 10:31

FYI when we thought about moving dd from one state school to another, we were offered a place in the morning one day and she was all set to start the very next morning! That's how quickly these things normally work. Please ignore independent school and do what you think is right.

CodyKing · 28/05/2016 10:26

I moved DD with 5 weeks to go - it will give your DD time to find her way round - everyone's more relaxed due to the summer term - maybe trips or days out - lessons are less structured in a wind down - sports days and school fates etc -

This will give her chance to meet new faces and teachers without the emphasis on work! She can get to know the expectations and the teachers will have time for her

Do it

Finola1step · 28/05/2016 10:24

I would mover her now. Your only priority is that your DD settles well.into new school. Starting now means that she will be involved in the fun activities of the summer term (sports day, trips etc).

She will also get ro know her new teachers now before the hectic September rush. And by September, your DD will no longer be the new girl.

No way would I allow old school to have half a term to "persuade" her to stay. The other dc in her current year group are the concern of the school and their own parents.

yomellamoHelly · 28/05/2016 10:19

I'd move her now. Gives her a chance to get to know some people and hopefully develop a few friendships over the holidays. Can't see why your dd would want to continue any longer in an environment she's not happy with.

pitterpatterrain · 28/05/2016 10:18

I agree with jassy

They are trying to cover it up

wobblywonderwoman · 28/05/2016 10:15

I would move her right away- emailing six times is really telling. they are panicking.

AugustaFinkNottle · 28/05/2016 10:13

I suspect they hope they can persuade her to stay, and they're worried that if there are bigger picture issues her going will be the start of the exodus. Any problem the school will have with her peers coming to terms with this is absolutely nothing to do with you. However, is it worth arranging for her to go in once to say goodbye?

HSMMaCM · 28/05/2016 10:12

I agree. Move her now. If anyone from the old school wants to keep in touch they can. Don't go for a meeting with the head if you don't want to. Definitely don't take your DD in again, they will only try and make her feel bad about leaving.

JassyRadlett · 28/05/2016 10:07

The old school is worried about reputation and gossip. Much easier to explain away a child leaving in a planned way at the end of the year than one leave suddenly at had term.

melonribena · 28/05/2016 10:07

I would move her now. Will help her make some new friends before the summer and then when she goes back after the summer, she won't be the new kid!

AgeOfEarthquakes · 28/05/2016 10:05

Gosh, yes. Move her now. Your priority must be your DD not the other students in her class. Her current school sounds ridiculous.

A state school won't hold a place forever. There are likely other children on the waiting list and hanging on to a place without attending for half a term would be not be acceptable.

AlwaysNC · 28/05/2016 10:04

Move her after half term, she doesn't need a half term of current school guilt tripping her into staying. Of course they want her to stay so they can convince you all not to move. Doesn't look good on them and word will get around.
If daughter is ready to go then move, and last half term if summer will be the most relaxed to start her in.
If she needs no time to say goodbye then as sure as he'll her teachers don't. Have a party for her friends this half term as a leaving party if t helps

JinRamen · 28/05/2016 10:03

They emailed you six times??

Fwiw I would move her now.

ParadiseCity · 28/05/2016 10:02

They (old school) sound ridiculous!

Original poster
lottielou7 · 28/05/2016 10:01

Thank you - I feel better about it now. Yesterday I felt really stressed - they emailed me about 6 times.

OP posts:
BoGrainger · 28/05/2016 09:50

Yes, what others have said, if this is a state secondary they can't hold a place unconditionally for a half term. Go for it!

Jubaloo442 · 28/05/2016 09:50

Move her! Good places don't stick around.

BeautifulMaudOHara · 28/05/2016 09:49

You are doing the right thing, move her now

ParadiseCity · 28/05/2016 09:48

I'd go ahead and move her. Or course her 'previous' school wants her to stay - they want you to reconsider as its losing them money!

Original poster
lottielou7 · 28/05/2016 09:48

In lieu in mean lol

OP posts:
Original poster
lottielou7 · 28/05/2016 09:47

We will have to pay the Autumn terms fees in leau of a terms notice which is standard. So they won't lose out, no.

OP posts:
Mookbark · 28/05/2016 09:46

I agree with Ave. they new school won't keep her place, so if you defer until September, then there may not be a place for her.
Flowers for you and your DD. I hope the move goes well for her.

Swipe left for the next trending thread