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Original poster

Why is academic achievement STILL scoffed at?

35 replies

LunaLoveg00d · 27/05/2016 10:20

Quite cross on behalf of my son, although he doesn't care a jot. He is in first year at the local state Secondary. He has just turned 13 so is one of the oldest in his year (we're in Scotland) and the school he is at is very good - one of the top 5 or 6 in Scotland in the state sector and regularly sends pupils on to Oxbridge, medicine or law courses.

Son is very academic. He is a sponge for things like science and history, but on the flip side can't draw for toffee and is completely useless at sport. Last week he came home with a letter saying he's got some sort of award at prize giving and the ceremony is next week. He is delighted and we're very pleased for him.

The other kids in the class not so much. They are sneering about "teachers' pet" awards, calling him a nerd, geek or swot, and basically saying they wouldn't be seen dead in an awards ceremony. I am sure that if my child was being given a place on the football team or winning awards for painting or drama the reaction would be quite different.

Luckily my son has zero social skills so couldn't care less what other people are saying about him. I do think though that in a high-achieving school, where many of the parents are in professional jobs and have been through higher education, that this sort of attitude is really depressing. It's not changed in the 30 years since I was at a crap comp and being bullied for handing in homework on time.

Why is low academic achievement something so many teens seem to aspire to??

OP posts:
troutsprout · 27/05/2016 13:16

I don't think it is always scoffed at. I think that perhaps this is just to do with the culture of the school your child is in .
It is generally not scoffed at at dd's school ( small state secondary). All achievement seems to be well responded to. But then they are very on the ball about that sort of thing.
I also hate that his lack of social skills make your boy a target at his school. Also not ok. The school should be tackling this also.
Well done your son. Sounds like a great lad Smile

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 27/05/2016 13:03

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curren · 27/05/2016 12:33

Dd does very well at school. Since going to secondary she has excelled in sport as well.

A few kids sneer at her when she does well at anything. Sport or more academically.

That's life. Some kids and adults sneer at people when they feel a bit jealous, or see someone doing well.

It's not just academic achievements. It happens across all things.

It's happened to me at work. I have been sneered at for getting promotions. I have even been sneered at for changing my car. It was clio, nothing flash. But some people can't deal with good things happening for other people.

She has a good group of friends and doesn't care at all what a few kids say.

Notenoughsleepmumof3 · 27/05/2016 12:28

teta...that's a bit harsh. Kids can be cruel, often because of their own insecurities and low-self esteem. The most balanced kids are the ones who can be happy for others. But, I think that some parents don't often encourage this or they don't know how. It is the bad side of competition. Cruelty from children stems from the home.

LunaLove good on your son for not giving a toss what they think about him. I'd say that is very good social skills. Water off a duck's back. He will find his own people in time and I'm sure will be very successful.

VulcanWoman · 27/05/2016 12:25

They'll always be jealousy unfortunately.
I agree with the social skills though. My son is bright, not the brightest but I know he holds himself back sometimes from speaking up, now, I know this seems a shame, I think it's a case of trying to come to a happy medium, holding back slightly so you're not seen as a swot but still not compromising yourself too much.
I'm sure your son will have the last laugh anyway. Best wishes.

teta · 27/05/2016 12:09

I think he's being picked on because of his lack of social skills and being a know-all + Sorry!
You can be academically successful and still be popular.One of mine is like that ( but is also very naughty) and refuses to align himself with the 'nerds' or 'geeks' and is pretty popular .
I appreciate your son is very clever but social skills are vitally important these days.To the extent you can be brilliant but completely stymied career -wise without them ( happened to a close relative)

Original poster
LunaLoveg00d · 27/05/2016 10:58

Yes, I suspect it's "all the kids" in the same way as he told me "all the kids" have an iPhone 6. So not all, just a minority.

Luckily he has teamed up with another boy who is just like him and they're best buddies. I do appreciate that he is an odd child though - when asked at 5 to draw a picture of what job they thought they'd do when they were older he drew himself curing cancer. I can see why his quirks can rub people up the wrong way and he is quite a know it all. We've given up trying to help him fit in, and just let him be himself.

OP posts:
Eigg · 27/05/2016 10:41

Luna it won't be all the kids, it will be a few loudmouths who are more than likely pretty envious.

I was a 'swot' all through high school right up until after standard grades at which point the attitude in our year changed. It was embarrassing to have done badly in your exams and myself and the other swots stepped a few rungs in the social ladder.

Facebook is a wonderful tool for seeing how all the "in crowd" kids who made your life a misery are doing now. "Revenge is living well"

tiggytape · 27/05/2016 10:38

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SilverDragonfly1 · 27/05/2016 10:35

Because it's something anyone can manage? Not everyone can be top of the class, but everyone can be joint bottom! It's insecurity and jealousy on their part and they're not mature enough to recognise that yet.

Honestly, if he won an art or drama prize there would probably be comments about his sexuality! Again, because they are not skills you can learn without considerable natural talent. But you can do fairly well in non-professional sports just by trying hard and being generally fit- so it's more of a level playing field (sorry!) and less jealousy because other pupils feel that is something they could do if they wanted to.