Harrow v Tonbridge

Thanks anyway @AgainPlease

Just saw this is a revived zombie thread

A vote for Tonbridge here! Only because my lovely DH went there. I've been to the school and the grounds are gorgeous. Would definitely send any future son I have there.

An ex boyfriend of mine went to Harrow. Was up his own arse and to this day keeps going on about how he was in the Bullingdon club at Oxford (like 20 years ago). Blerghhh 😷

I do like the Harrow v Eton alumni games/rivalry though e.g. boxing matches. Fun school rivalry that lasts forever :)

Thank you @happygardening really useful post. I don't suppose you have any first hand / insider insights about Sevenoaks? It's the alternative for us - we're not into boarding.

PS - OOOH and, just for the record , there's an abundance of quirky, non conformist, intellectual burghers (and indeed bumpkins) in wonderful Kent!! You just need to know where to look!!

I really liked when I looked at it. I liked the head, the boys I met and the staff. At the time we didn't persue the application because we were likely to be moving and therefore would want full boarding.
I'm sure there are lots quirky non conformist types there although I wouldn't say the good burghers of Kent are known for this and there are or at least there were when I looked at it 40% day pupils there.
As you may know DS went to Winchester it's totally unique in its ethos, (I used to work in the independent boarding sector so I've a pretty good inside knowledge of what actually goes on in most school). Winchester's ethos is not for everyone but ultimately it suited DS. This is why I say if I had my time over again and knowing what I know now I'm dont think Tonbridge would have been a great fit for my DS or us a parents

Thanks Happy. Though actually, not sure it's reassuring as suspect I have one of those too! However, it seems a top option if boarding is just not on the table. Luckily we seemed to meet quirky types on each of our visits so that makes me feel it's not all about the XI etc!

I think it's an excellent school I just don't think it would have suited DS2 who's a natural quirky non conformist.

Just wondering. Why are you not sure you'd like Tonbridge now HappyG?

I looked at Tonbridge yrs ago I really liked it (not sure I would now) and the head was very upfront and said that it was primarily a weekly boarding (with 40% day), our prep head also backed this up, he had friends with DS's there. I doubt this has changed in fact there are probably even less now then when I Iooked at it, there are very few proper full boarding schools left, ultimately due to insufficient demand from parents.
The main proper full boarding schools i.e. no weekly/flexi boarding and not too many day I can think of are boys schools: Eton, Winchester, Harrow, Coed: Marlborough, Kings Canterbury, Uppingham, St Edwards ?Oundle and Rugby. There will be others with quite a few full boarding but also a mixture of weekly flexi and day but IMO if you want full boarding choose a proper full boarding school.

Overseas boarding boys: which schools do they go to and why? Looking inti sending my 10year old son at 13+ and wondering what would suit best those boys whose parents are overseas. particulalry Asia. and for what reasons. ie co-ed or boys school, and no weekly boarding so he doesn't feel lonely in a school that empties out at weekends. Thanks so much in advance, lovely ladies.

Hello, does Tonbridge really empties at weekends?

Bump

This is an old thread but I am at a similar decision point and wondering if did you choose Tonbridge Charlie19? If yes how was the rest of the process and how are things now? If it was no in the end - why Harrow and not Tonbridge? Thank you!

I personally think if your DS is very musical and your HM couldn't identify Bach from Shostakovich and has no interest in music then I think he might be better of in a more musical house.
Again if your HM is a fanatical sportsman and his idea of relaxation is galloping around the rugby pitch in freezing wind and rain or watching past England NZ rugby matches analysing where it went wrong then the non sporty boy could feel he's landed in Mars.
The head at my DS's prep was a cricket nut, during big England matches it was his sole conversation my DS (who lathes cricket) used to say that he he had nothing to talk to him about.

"When we went to an open morning at Harrow, the HM talked about courage, humility, integrity and fellowship and the housemaster talked about valuing kindness and compassion."

Oh, did they really?

What a whole load of crap they are . . . talking about the opposites of themselves!

Tbh the madness isn't enough to put us off. When we went to an open morning at Harrow, the HM talked about courage, humility, integrity and fellowship and the housemaster talked about valuing kindness and compassion. At Eton they just talked about being terribly good at everything! We went away feeling that we'd seen something very impressive but we weren't sure what it was all about. So for us, Harrow may be on our wish list and Eton probably isn't.

Houses at Harrow have very strong personalities. You have the sporty houses, the very musical/arty houses, they even have an 'international house'.They do have international students in all houses, however this particular house seems to have an unusual large proportion. Quite often you will be steered away from a very sporty house if the boy is not sporty.
I remember lobbying to get ds1 to see an HM years ago, the HM asked our prep head bluntly, 'Can you assure me, he is in the top teams for rugby and football? Because if he isn't I don't want to see him'.

But to be fair it's a heavily oversubscribed school and I think this is the reason for this madness.

I'm not sure what the best system is for choosing an HM. Harrow's seems frankly confusing and ridiculous, another reason I'm glad we didn't even consider it, I take this sort of thing as a general indication of their approach to both boys and parents in general.
I can see Tonbridge's on paper seems the fairest but knowing how important an HM is I'm glad we were able to choose ours and also that he was able to choose the 12 boys who he felt would all fit in to his house. I would have hated to have had to put a 1st 2nd and 3 rd choice, if you get your 3rd choice and you have some sort of problem or you or your DC dint get on with them are you always going to wonder of it could have been better handled if you got your first choice? Some schools I know don't give parents a choice this is your HM end of story. I think I would also have felt uncomfortable that at HM's were also stating if my DS was their 1st 2nd or 3rd choice.
"HM seem to have to much power which I am sure will lead to Houses having a certain type of boy even if they try to choose a variety of qualities."
Of course at Winchester the HMs have lots of power and can reject a boy because they feel he's not suitable for their house, I guess its inevitable that each HM will look for a certain type or maybe they try to get a balance. I remember joking to one parents on the day they started that it looked like our HM had chosen 2 very tall ones, two very short ones, 2 average height ones, two from abroad etc a balanced cross section of the population!

Up until last year, there were 3 stages to their admissions. First interview, Pre test, Common entrance. The last two stages are very clear to everyone. The first stage isn't.

There is a first interview with one of the HM's you would have stated on your registration form.(although, they say it's not important! But it is)
If they like you, you get added to the list of one of your preferred HM's. (The amount of choice you have at this point is directly related to who/how many invited you for the first interview). Usually no more than 3. But it could be just one.

The next stage is pretest
The pretest inludes an interview, a computer test, and a written essay piece of work.
Who interviews you on pre test day will be determined by who's list the candidate is on . Meaning the lucky candidate will be seeing his now HM for the second time. He already likes you, boy feels nice and relaxed, you just need to ace the tests now!

There are no more interviews after this. The final stage is Common entrance.

If you were unsuccessgul for whatever reason to get on an HM's list you will still be invited to pre test, but have no idea who will interview you, and you won't be preferred choice anyway, (although they don't tell you that! But the inference is clear) unless you somehow went under their radar but completely blew them away on pre test day. They will slot you into a gap created by someone who was on the HM's list but disappointed on pre test day.

Now they have introduced ISEB I'm not sure wether this comes before or after the first interview, but it would make a 4th layer, unless they've scrapped the first interview..I don't know.

Its very hard to explaining it all in writing, because there's a lot of unspoken stuff going on in the background and you have to read between the lines,like the form that says, you don't have to state your preference, but then you find out it would have been wise to do so. This is my only gripe with the school. Otherwise it's a fantastic school!

Any by the way, at that first interview, be aware that parents sit in on it too, not just the boy. At least Radley make that very clear.

Please feel free to PM if you want to.

Sorry Eric is the new registrar, not HM, got them mixed up.

Okay, I understood that some candidates were invited to interview after the pre-test if they performed very well. Other candidates are invited to interview when they do the Y7 Harrow test. Is that what you think as well or have we got different understanding of this?!

That is part and parcel of the confusion with Harrow 's application. The form may say that but when you speak to the school it becomes clear you'd be better off stating your house preferences, otherwise how do you select your preferred houses? At what point? It's is from the first 3 preferences you give that you get your first interview from. If you don't state any preferences then, the HM's will first invite from those who named them on their forms, then look at others.

We've been through the Harrow process twice and with friends as its a popular choice at our school. At registration we didn't state any preference, but at the
same open day, the Previous HM, told all of us, it is not important to have a meeting/interview with a preferred HM, that it's only useful if the candidate had a previous connection to the school but other than that, it bestows no benefit at all and all will be treated the same i.e have the same chance of getting in. However on pretest day, it was announced, ' now is the last chance you have to make an impression on your chosen HM'. We also met other parents telling us their DS had 'passed' the first interview and was already on the HM's list. To say we were bewildered is putting it lightly.

The new HM Eric Sye? Made a point of mentioning the first interview but still only casually said, 'some will be invited to interview', but basically everyone has the same chance of getting in. I don't see how that can be.

I believe Harrow is a fantastic school, once you get in. It's just their admissions process could do with a complete overhaul. I don't think it's fair to parents or the boys at all.