Private school fees

My DDs' school doesn't offer sibling discounts or fee remission for teachers.

Fees are not set in stone if you have four children. Most people wouldn't even dream of asking. If you have five you might only pay for three. Fact.

How old are your apocryphal children EllaBel?

I have 3 dc and that is expensive enough!

Our school doesn't offer sibling discount either and has waiting lists for places so they have no need to negotiate on fees.

Private education is a very expensive luxury.

I only know one family with four at private school and the dad is a big cheese at an investment bank so has a very high income.

Oh, and those with larger families all have very large gaps- most stagger each birth by five years, so that they can get each child through a stage before the next. (Many go super-selective grammar for secondary from our prep. Gap is designed to minimise fee burden)

The middle class aren't affording it, in the main. There is only one family (of approx 400 families) at my DC's school that has >3 children. There are only 3 or 4 that have 3. Overwhelmingly they have 1 DC.
How on earth did you not consider this before four children came along? (Unless they're quads)

People I know afford it by

• grandparents paying (not for us, sadly)
• teachers with a 50% discount (although that reduces it to £15k per child in my friend's case and she has 3 children)
• having well paid jobs
• high bursaries, friend on low income has been offered 80% discount for a v famous private school as they really want her son

The only people who don't skimp and scrape to afford fees are those with senior jobs in corporate finance. Or Russian oligarchs.

Most people just send their kids to normal schools, the ones attended by 93% of the population. The ones that also manage to send kids to Oxbridge and medical school despite having a non-selective intake and 1/3 of the budget of private schools.

In addition to bursaries, scholarships and staff discount the other reduction is paying up front. But that isn't negotiable afaik, the reduction is a set figure/ % depending on the figure you are paying in advance.

There are some charities/ funds that will occasionally contribute/ sponsor, but only for certain circumstances, and not just because your child is suffering 'normal' hardships. Let alone because you want but can't afford private.

I know two families with 4 kids private, and one with three. The fees are paid by grandparents in each case.

The fees are the fees.i know three families with four at private school, one gets 75 percent off fees as the dh teaches there and two are very, very rich (Lords who live in Manor houses!)

Get a job as a teacher in a private school. This will entitle you to a significant discount if your children attend.

difference in value...

Actually, seven years of fees for one is roughly equivalent to the value in house between ours and most of our friends.

By only having one child and using state for primary and saving up for years for secondary (including also paying mortgage off early by having a more modest house than we could afford - one child helps with that, too).

That's how we afford it.

Sibling discounts can apply but ime are 5% for first qualifying sibling and max 10% for subsequent. Some only kick in for 3rd child in same school at the same time and disappear once one leaves. Scholarships and bursaries are often available, and there may be some room for negotiation if a child has more than one offer, but seems less so recently. If a school has an affiliation to a religion and/or Association with Armed Forces, children of serving clergy or Forces families may also be eligible for partial fee remission.

As to affordability, fees are payable out of net income and many forfeit larger houses, new cars, holidays etc to commit to them unless they have received an inheritance, are mortgage free or have family willing to pay. For most it isn't realistic to pay from annual earnings alone.

1/3 of all private school students get some sort of fee reduction be it on scholarship or bursary. Then one can always skip holidays and cut non essential household bills & maybe even get some financial help from grandparents so fitting in one or two bright students at A level or even from age 13 is very doable but to finance 4 over a 7 year period from age 11 would be impossible.

"Join the Armed Forces. You can get help with private school fees"

You get help with boarding school fees only. And only for the stages of education when one parent is fully deployable, and the other parent moves house with them every time they are posted (other than to war zones, of course).

No payment at all for day school fees. But if you choose a boarding school near a garrison town, you might be lucky enough to be posted there and have a year or two still covered as continuity.

Fees are set in stone and there are considerable extras such as uniforms and small trips. Including after school and holidays it is getting into the realms of 20k for one child per year in a prep.

We've had five in independent education, but I got teacher's remission for three of them for a few years, as well as tiny scholarships (5 - 10%).

Even with that, we had to borrow against our house during the peak years.

Join the Armed Forces. You can get help with private school fees.....but you may be deployed into a war zone!

Some private schools are struggling, even some quite good private schools. They need more children. So you may be able to get a scholarship at a school in that situation if your child is just a bit bright or talented.
You could also consider working for a private school, to get subsidised schooling.

Advertised fees are what you pay unless you have some kind of remission. There is no room for negotiation.

As MrsEric says, the fees are only the start. My children went to private school and we were not consulted over trips or extras. There would be a note home telling us a mandatory activity was scheduled to take place and the words 'the cost of this will be added to your bill..