Private school fees

primal we were told the bursary application was entirely independent of our son's scholarship application (and general application to the school).
People might think he's dead clever cos we got such a high bursary, but in fact it just means we are not very affluent! Not that we discuss the bursary with many people.

anyone can look up the OP past post history.

every family is different and unique so the OP asking a vague question and then never coming back to fine tune the conversation doesn't help the OP's situation.
30% of the population goes to private each person with their own financial story makes for a lot of responses.

How bright is bright enough for a bursary? Did anyone here get an entrance exam tutor to help with securing financial assistance (is that contradictory - can pay for a tutor so don't need help with fees?)

The only people who don't skimp and scrape to afford fees are those with senior jobs in corporate finance. Or Russian oligarchs.

Depends where you live. Senior school fees here are 10-11k.

Lurked - my children go to a school that is part of the local community and has room for ALL types of children. As a family we are invested the school, and therefore invested in the community it serves. My children's school has many weaknesses and I don't know how it will work out. It's tough for them and they will have to work extra hard over their school life to compensate for these weaknesses. But then, why shouldn't they? Why shouldn't my children compete on the same terms as the vast majority of other UK children? They have a fair and equal chance to compete for university places and jobs with other dc's, many of whom will do extremely well by making the most they can from what they are given, and I expect the same from my children. I don't believe in academic, social and economic apartheid in education, and even if I had the money I would not pay to support a system which perpetuates it.

I know of 2 large families in private school.

They are both professional sportspeople.

mini take it you picked the best school available to you as your first choice? And will send your dc if it's offered? If so you aren't in a position to take the moral high ground about other parents doing the same. And fwiw if my local state schools had been good enough dd wouldn't be at private.

That massive chip on your shoulder is giving you some seriously odd ideas about the mindset of parents who opt for private.

mini wrote: I keep thinking 'can state education really be THAT BAD?', that people are willing to spend the cost of an entire house to avoid subjecting their children to it, even when their local school is perfectly decent comprehensive.

It's not a question necessarily of the state alternative being bad, but just wanting something better and being able to afford to buy it. Same goes for many things in life doesn't it?

On the face of it our local comp is great and termed 'outstanding' by the those that inspect it, but because I could afford choice I chose to pay for him to go to a school that:

• has a pupil / teacher ratio half that of the comp
• has textbooks
• has great equipment not old stuff failing
• has materials so son can make proper stuff in DT
• has acres and acres of sports fields not one pitch
• has 3G pitches for all weather games etc
• will have played 20 odd football matches this term and last term not just a handful
• I'm treated like a customer, I get email responses from teachers same day

So that's why, in the face of an 'outstanding' comp which someone told me on Sunday that people move house to be near so their children can go to I chose to buy something better. Cos I am lucky enough to be able to make that choice. Oh and it's the cost of a garage round here not a house!

minifingers as a 'loving and concerned parent' I am sure you know whether the choice of state schools that you have work for your DCs. If so great, be happy. If not and you can't afford the option of moving house or private then you are certainly not alone. You may feel resentful of a capitalistic society in which income levels matter for choice but I am not sure how you can be surprised that almost all parents who value education will want to find the best options for their DCs. What decisions and relative sacrifices they make are family specific and up to them.

mini it seems odd that you feel the choices of other parents are somehow reflected onto you and your child.

My decision to go private isn't about your kid, or your school, or your choices, or how much better than you I think I am, or in fact any other reason involving you.

My choice is about me and my child and what's best for us. I find it weird you would be affronted by something which has absolutely nothing to do with you.

I've had five in private at one time.

I don't know whether I am a public enemy or not on here !

DD1 2nd year@ Cambridge ex Super selective state
DD2 Yr12 IB Super selective state
DD3 Yr 10 Normal grammar

DS yr 8 HFA Autistic @ modern school but school say he is to bright for them, but he has problems with behaviour in class.

It seems on here that parents who use grammar schools, are 'disliked' intensely. This is as opposed to the neutral stance taken against private school parents.

No-one has sneered. Also no-one has said they have four children in fee-paying schools! As people have pointed out, there are lots of people whose families are paying those fees in any case.
I think a lot of people don't have a perfectly decent comprehensive school locally- that is the problem! It costs us far, far less to send our children fee-paying than it would have done to move into catchment of the decent school locally (house prices in catchment £700k upwards, cut-off 300 yards from school gate).

More likely journo than gf, I think.

"She was probably upset by all the sneering comments along the lines of 'dream on, peasant' by wealthy people on this thread whose kids are in private schools."
I'm not sure which comments you're referring too as I haven't read them all but the reality, not a "sneering comment" by the way but in the real world very few average families can afford to send 4 children to independent schools and pay the full fees, at the very least you talking pushing £55k+ PA most likely considerably more. This statement has nothing to do with "dream on peasants" I wish the OP the best of luck I genuinely hope she finds somewhere and is able to somehow reduce the fees.

mini

I think it more likely the OP vanished after starting a gf thread tbh.
But it may be me, because I had this feeling from the OP.

No surprise.

She was probably upset by all the sneering comments along the lines of 'dream on, peasant' by wealthy people on this thread whose kids are in private schools.

As a loving and concerned parent of a state educated child, it's always a humbling experience to see the extreme financial lengths to which people will go to make sure that their child isn't educated in the same way that your child is. I keep thinking 'can state education really be THAT BAD?', that people are willing to spend the cost of an entire house to avoid subjecting their children to it, even when their local school is perfectly decent comprehensive.

Love the way the OP came back, BTW.

I completely disagree with eyebrowse's class analysis.
There is only one upper class family at my children's school (were two, however the other family's children went off to board). The school would not survive unless most people paid full fees, and I believe the proportion of pupils with bursary/fee support is around 10% only.
Most of the school is solid middle-middle class, with some umc, and some lmc, and a couple of families traditional wc background.
Many families from outside the British class system, but v mc for their countries of origin. (Academics, doctors, lawyers etc)

I think any family who has an income of over e.g £150k pa if comparing themselves with a family in 'relative' or education/income poverty in Rochdale is indeed of higher socio economic group.

As for comparing money with 'class' well you cannot get 'lower class' individuals then some premiership footballers !.

Ooh, am interested in the "class" comment. Would never, ever class myself as "upper class" - one DD, one set of school fees. I always thought the upper classes were the landed gentry and royalty (which I am most definitely not). You learn something new every day ... :)

I have a talented child and several private schools, including day and boarding, offered high value scholarships and bursaries. One of these was a 100% scholarship, not means tested.
For this, the child needs to be very talented, and then you need to apply to a school that is particularly interested in the thing that your child is very talented at. The child probably needs to be strong academically too.
Your child will want to go to that kind of school, as they will be passionate about their activity, so it's a win win.

HocusCrocus Google social class and academic achievement.

I think class is nowadays defined by education and is as follows

"upper class" private school
"upper class fallen on hard times" private school bursary
"aspiring upper class" private school bursary
"middle class" grammar school, high performing comprehensive
everyone else (note some everyone elses will get into grammar and high performing comprehensives)

Therefore if you are anything to do with private school that makes you upper rather than middle class. People are reluctant to use 'upper class' because they don't want to face facts.

For what it is worth, and forgive me if I am repeating other posters' response, but have you considered finding a super duper state school, and just moving into that catchment area? I know people with less children that do that, and it has worked well for them. Certainly some state schools in London are considered on par with some independent schools.