Should I send my kid to a grammar school

Hmm to pick on one poster and identify them as having a child that "failed"? I'd say that's pretty spiteful.

I suppose it just goes to show that EI is just as necessary to success in life as IQ.

Wow Marnia what a deeply unpleasant line of questioning you have. How totally unnecessary and spiteful.

I posted:"let me guess Blu and Bert, you both have children who didn't pass?"

At 14.25 Bertranrussell posted "Wrong, marnia."

And then later in the day remembered she did have a child who had failed the 11+!

That's literally what bertrand just said ...

Really bertrandru?ssell I could have sworn you had posted before about your DS who failed the 11+?

Neither were tutored.

Full disclosure. I have one that passed and one that failed.

MarniasMum : Wrong!
Selective schools miles away, never even taken the 11+ . (but I have watched families where intensive tutoring has taken place).

And as you might have seen, I have actually advised the OP, in her situation, and having not intensively tutored her child, to go for the grammar option.

So ner.

Sorry, I've read lots of this but not all: has the OP visited either school? Is this a school that lots of MNers are familiar with? I'm surprised by the certainty here!

Wrong, marnia. Some of us are capable of having opinions which are not entirely motivated by self interest or that well loved mumsnet accusation- "jealousy".

despite my DS year 8having issues with Aspergers Dyslexia and the occasional breakdown at school, if i had gone down the tutoring route he may have passed the Kent test. I decided against the tutoring or entering him for the test.

The result is a school that is the correct environment for him to achieve level's 5 or 6 (or whatever they will be) in his GCSE , they are also forgiving to his occasional displays of frustration.

DD3 year 10 in contrast despite not being as bright as DS has no issues with learning disabilities, so the 'bog standard' grammar is the right school for her. The school gets her to work very hard (not allowed) to switch off or grades to slide. DD3 in a Comprehensive school would end up sliding in to the 'middle' pack and end up with C grades, that being her real abilty level. However, with the work ethic 'discipline' other pupils standards, she should end up with mo B grades and a couple of A grades thrown in.

The Comprehensive system is wrong for children like DD3 because she would get drawn in to the 'just doing enough' culture. This can to children with average or slighter higher abillity children in comprehensive schools.

let me guess Blu and Bert, you both have children who didn't pass? This is what these parents all say!! The truth is that mamy children do not require tutoring and no more than a few practice papers.My own 4 kids included .

Bert: not to mention the children who have proved that they will sit still, do as they are told and do endless test routines as part of the tutoring since Yr 4

Exactly IguanaTail.

"Perhaps they could introduce a "weighting" to redress the balance. There must be some way round it"

There is. It's called a comprehensive school.

Actually I was suggesting a weighting to allow students from less well-off backgrounds to have an equal chance of a grammar school education, so that entry is by ability not money.

What is wrong with grammar schools predominately catering for middle class kids and parents !. These being the ones who deserve an academic education seperated from less motivated children or families who are not engaged in their childs education.

Because the whole point is that they were set up to help increase social mobility, not to cater for middle classes but to give every child with the ability a more academic education. Motivation shouldn't come into it. Nor the support from families.

Grammar School all the way! I was very irritated by some people who tried to convince me that the schools in my local area were our ONLY suitable option for our DS years before we even considered our options/choices; therefore, when quizzed I tried to avoid straight answers. I felt that the choice was a very private matter. As a parent I know my child & his abilities best!We discreetly prepared our DS for the Grammar Tests and discussed Secondary school matters after we knew the outcome in March.

What is wrong with grammar schools predominately catering for middle class kids and parents !. These being the ones who deserve an academic education seperated from less motivated children or families who are not engaged in their childs education.

I fail to see why there is so much debate,about schools that offer an education that is appropriate for ambitious motivated parents and children regardless of class or social staus.

The only reason to debate the presence of grammar schools, is to disbar people who cannot afford private education, the desired schooling for their children.

This boils down to a simple and outdated belief that because 100% cannot have a state education on par with private, 'nobody' should have that either.

The 11+ doesn't overtly test for behaviour.

But the kids who pass it are almost without exception, well supported, privileged middle class children with involved, educated parents..........

Does the 11+ test for behaviour , then?

My DC's comp is a high performing comp, with a v high % of children on FSM. They identify and look after children who need support for learning across all abilities. This includes a bright children from chaotic / not valuing education
backgrounds. They have had a steady programme, taking them to do sections of GCSE course work and practicals in Uni labs and facilities, taking them for 2 day visits to top Uni's, offering interview practice, etc.

"You can't start accepting children who aren't going to fit in, either in terms of discipline, ability, etc. as it's unfair to other children, they don't want to risk lowering their exam results statistics, and more importantly, it's a great disservice to the PP child themselves if they're not going to be happy there and aren't going to be able to keep up with the work."

I wonder whether you might like to read that paragraph again and decide whether it's an attitude you happy to associate yourself with? I'm just wondering whether you didn't quite mean it to come across the way it did.

Your description of your own experience is the perfect answer to why you should send your son to the grammar, I think you have beautifully described the reasons why. Hope he has a good experience there.