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Original poster

Detention for wrong book - long sorry

58 replies

gleegeek · 01/12/2015 19:51

My over conscientious, worrier dd (12) has come home from school distraught after receiving her first ever detention today. Apparently she had mistaken her RE book for her science book as they are the same colour. How would your school deal with this? Trying to work out if the teacher went a bit over the top or not...
The teacher said she was sick of handing out 10 min after school detentions (naughty class) so dd has to go a week tomorrow for a 25min after school detention. Poor dd is beside herself. She accepts she made a mistake but just wants to get the detention over and done with, rather than stew about it for a whole week!
Dh has looked at school policy which states level 1 offences like forgetting equipment for first time is note in planner/verbal warning/detain for few minutes if convenient to do so. Level 2 offences are for repeat or serious offences which can result in detention with 24hrs notice.
Dd is so upset and outraged at the teacher - it sounds to me like the teacher flipped and poor Dd caught the weight of her frustration. Dd is panicking the teacher will pick on her now, she is scared and doesn't want to go to school tomorrowSad
It's so hard when you get punished for a relatively small mistake when she tries so hard to always work hard and be organised...
Do I talk to the school or just put up with it? If it were tomorrow I'd probably ignore it but I know we'll have a week of sleepless nights...
Thank you!

OP posts:
Helenluvsrob · 01/12/2015 20:02

I'm afraid I'd tell mine to put up with it. She had the wrong book and has a punishment. No one will think anything of it is another week. She'll get over it if you don't make a big thing of it.
DS did detention ever. That was unfair. Some lad did a bad imitation of another who had a movement disorder and fell over. DS got accused of pushing him!
If you call school and it gets out that she gets let off she'll be a " mummies girl" for ever.
Let school manage their own punishments unless it's something actually big and concerning.

sharoncarol43 · 01/12/2015 20:02

Maybe she develops a case of sickness the night before the day of her detention and doesn't go to school that day or the day after now that would be a serious over reaction, and would escalate the whole situation exponentially.

zombiesarecoming · 01/12/2015 20:00

Maybe she develops a case of sickness the night before the day of her detention and doesn't go to school that day or the day after

PurpleDaisies · 01/12/2015 20:00

It isn't right to give an individual child a harsher punishment than their offence deserves because the rest of the class has been a nuisance.

I agree it sounds like the teacher was stressed and just overreacted. I'd probably drop them an email saying how upset your daughter is about the situation and see what happens. If I were the teacher I'd then call your daughter to explain why she had the detention, make sure she knew it wasn't anything to do with liking or disliking her and the slate was totally wide clean between us. It sounds like that would solve the problem of the worrying. Do you know the teacher? Is that likely to happen?

Floggingmolly · 01/12/2015 19:58

It's probably unfair for a first offence; but being "distraught" and having (potentially) a week of sleepless nights is an extreme over reaction.
Maybe you should concentrate on this? Is this usual for her?
It's very unhealthy.

sharoncarol43 · 01/12/2015 19:58

You don't want to hear this, but you are PHENOMENALLY lucky.

DD is in a school where a misdemeanour this small is picked up on and punished immediately, first time.

I've been in schools where so many children don't bother to bring in their book/pen/planner that the teachers would need several hours just to fill in the detention slips. So they don't.

My son is in a school like yours, where children get away with nothing, he doesn't realise how lucky he is.

of course it is a shame that she is upset, but just point out to her the advantages of being in a school with such high standards. With my son, he is the type that would always slack as far as he could without consequences, and luckily for him, in this school it is not very far at all. Your daughters class mates would be far worse behaved in under a different regime.

And this time next week, the teacher won't even remember which children they had in detention this week, without looking it up, so no, she won't be picked on.

Tiggeryoubastard · 01/12/2015 19:57

I think you should be more concerned about your daughters anxiety issues, tbh. It's not that big a deal, and she's going to encounter much worse in life.

pullofthemoon · 01/12/2015 19:54

Aww, poor girl. I'm not sure really. I like to think if the teacher is a reasonable type who over reacted a bit she might let DD off but seems unlikely.

You could ring up but it probably wouldn't work Hmm