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Original poster

Any ideas for smart answers to nasty comments? Yr 7 Girls...sigh.

64 replies

wheresthebeach · 01/12/2015 17:56

DD in Yr 7. All started out fine but now there is some nastiness. DD is a gentle kid so not good at the 'death stare' (unless at me!) or smart come backs that set the boundary.

So...'friend' asks 'what do you want to be when you grow up'. Then responds with 'you're too stupid to do that '. Several other similar set ups to be put down.

They travel on the same train, and are the only two from their year on it, so 'friend' is difficult to avoid. Up until recently it's all been fine so they have the habit of meeting on the platform and travelling together.

So far we've been roll playing a sarcastic 'Nice!' and eye roll...

Other suggestions welcome!

And breath....

OP posts:
FarticCircle · 02/12/2015 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ealingwestmum · 02/12/2015 07:29

Of course, my advice to her was to just say fuck off, but she's not got my wisdom

ealingwestmum · 02/12/2015 07:25

Hello again wheresthebeach (we suffered together last year on school entry stuff Smile)

Just asked my DD who's not the greatest at smart, cutting come backs either. She said she'd say something like 'charming', then slowly but very deliberately, get her head phones out and put them on, smiling, eyes shut for rest of journey as another PP has suggested. Then ignore her the next day on the platform. She says there's a risk, but normally the 'friend' cannot cope with being ignored for too long and does some sucking up. Until the next time, then repeat...

Rpj16 · 02/12/2015 04:09

What about

'is that the advice your parents gave you? No wonder your self esteem/confidence is sooo low...explains a lot!'

Or something similar like, 'where do you pick up these little snipey little remarks -insert mean girls name- it males you sound kinda like a bitch - I'm gonna listen to my headphones now, enjoy the journey in silence'

Is that too mean back? Your daughter will think of loads of good comebacks several years after finishing school I bet, always the way !

EYDavis · 02/12/2015 03:14

It's probably worth her having a selection of replies that can be rolled out regardless of what the other person said. I agree that some of the escalating suggestions here might be okay for some kids (or adults) but don't sound as if they would come naturally to your DD. She would also then need to be comfortable dealing with the fallout.

I suggest adding: "That's just your opinion" or, if she did want to step it up a notch, "Fortunately, I'm not very interested in your opinion"...?

Brioche201 · 02/12/2015 00:40

A good hearty chuckle with a 'you're so funny' with a ruffle of her hair to complete the belittling.

This one's best.Some of the 'escalating things' replies on here are such bad advice.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 01/12/2015 23:15

Repeat it back ... exactly word for word .. so she hears how she sounds.. (remember when toddlers do it?) .. try it at home.

AgonyBeetle · 01/12/2015 23:07

My Y7 dd can raise one eyebrow. Just the one. It's surprisingly effective at communicating total unimpressedness.

PollyGone · 01/12/2015 22:52

I was quite often the new girl at school, and had to put up with comments about my large nose.
I learnt ,very quickly, to observe everyones shortcomings (they all have them,however small),and comment on them. No-one said anything twice. Observation is key to personal insults.

BabyGanoush · 01/12/2015 22:46

And then he smiles at them Smile

BabyGanoush · 01/12/2015 22:45

Dangerrabbit, that is funny, it's how DS (13) responds to put downs

He acts vaguely amused

And says something like "riiiiiight" or "oooooookay, I see" in mildly sarcastic, vaguely amused way

Original poster
wheresthebeach · 01/12/2015 22:40

Some more great suggestions. Thank you everyone.

Yes danger it's a girls school so she's going to have to get a thicker skin I think.

OP posts:
dangerrabbit · 01/12/2015 22:35

I went to an all-girls' school, so I like to think of myself as a bit of an expert in bitchiness (a la daddy pig).

There's a tone your daughter needs to learn to employ which hangs ambiguously between sarcasm and glowing praise. I would suggest your daughter beams at her enemies using a smile that does not reach her eyes and says thank you. With the word thank just a little too pointed. Preferably while looking her enemy up and down.

bruffin · 01/12/2015 22:26

Just "Rude" with attitude and a roll of eyes

lljkk · 01/12/2015 22:24

"...Irrelevant little fool", even.
The thing about the Fuck Off is the it doesn't have to be said with anger. In fact, a quiet and bland "I can barely be bothered to rise to this" Fuck Off will be perfect, take the wind out of her sails.

MuttonCadet · 01/12/2015 22:18

Or for a bit more eloquence, "fuck off you irrelevant fool."

Any more nonsense and call her a cunt, seriously, there is no need for clever come backs - the swearing will be enough to stop her in her tracks (at least for a few minutes).

Going forward if you need more imaginative swear words I know of no better place than mumsnet ;-)

lljkk · 01/12/2015 21:47

She's tried 'that's really mean/or rude' and all she's got was 'its true'.

That's a screaming raging green light to go straight to "Fuck off".

MuttonCadet · 01/12/2015 21:07

Year 7? "Fuck off" would do perfectly well.

Original poster
wheresthebeach · 01/12/2015 21:03

Its tricky to know what works. Taking the high ground seems to only encourage more comments to get a reaction. Some sort of dismissive, rather than upset, reaction may be the way to go.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 01/12/2015 20:57

she thinks ignoring will inspire more actions so she want to slap her down

I think sarcastic slap downs will feed the nastiness rather than stopping it. The perfect one liner stunning the bully into submission only works in films. In real life they just respond with more insults.

Sleepybeanbump · 01/12/2015 20:41

Jesus, girls can be so bitchy! I'd probably suggest something like (ideally uttered in a really pitying, bemused, patronising way) 'God, are you trying to be funny by being so mean?'.

WanderingTrolley1 · 01/12/2015 20:39

"That's not very nice!"

Why retaliate with more put-downs? She needs to keep her head up and learn to ignore unpleasantness.

Original poster
wheresthebeach · 01/12/2015 20:39

A tad Who just a tad....

She does have earphones Purple but isn't keen as she thinks ignoring will inspire more actions so she want to slap her down (metaphorically...natch).

Qualified/careers advisor sarcasm sound like good options too...

This is great...thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 01/12/2015 20:36

How about.
We'll see! Smug look!

PurpleThermalsNowItsWinter · 01/12/2015 20:34

I'd do the death stare or reply with several favourites from my teens;
'Takes one to know one' uttered repeatedly is infuriating.
'Why?' Repeatedly again to every remark is infuriating
'Oh, I see, you're already a careers advisor, at least I don't have to ask you what you want to be.' Then turn away should end it. Does she have earphones? Can she plug those in for the journey and ignore this girl?