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Original poster

Teacher's commet

113 replies

DorothyL · 23/11/2015 19:48

Dd is in year 10 at a highly selective school. She has always been told she should contribute more in lessons but has always found it hard, being rather shy. Being surrounded by lots of clever and confident peers hasn't always helped. Today she put her hand up in English to ask to go to a music lesson, to which the teacher said "well yes it would be surprising if Dorothydaughter actually made a contribution". Dd felt mortified and was a bit teary about it tonight. Apparently this teacher is often rather sar astic, but am I wrong to
find this a bit counterproductive?

OP posts:
Original poster
DorothyL · 23/11/2015 22:10

Thank you, just wish dd was happy for me to send it Shock

OP posts:
llhj · 23/11/2015 22:01

Great email.

IguanaTail · 23/11/2015 20:59

I think if she's dead set against it then don't. If she feels embarrassed she's even less likely to contribute.

Original poster
DorothyL · 23/11/2015 20:38

Trouble is dd doesn't want me to email... Not sure whether to write anyway but not tell her?

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IguanaTail · 23/11/2015 20:23

She's probably anxious because she knows she should contribute and doesn't. He can easily sort this out by getting them to share answers in pairs and then asking individuals to tell the class what they discussed as a pair. That takes the pressure off an individual worrying about whether or not she is individually right or wrong.

Original poster
DorothyL · 23/11/2015 20:20

Well she has said that she wants to try and prove him wrong.

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Meloncoley2 · 23/11/2015 20:18

But she hasn't taken it as a wake up call..... She has been teary and upset...
I think this teacher's comment was out of order.

IguanaTail · 23/11/2015 20:17

Yes that's a good email. I like the positive spin at the end. I'm a teacher and if I got that I would be really upset that I had made a student feel rubbish about herself and would be keen to encourage her in a better way. So that's perfect I think.

Original poster
DorothyL · 23/11/2015 20:14

How about this?

Dear Mr X

Dorothydaughter was a little bit upset today after you commented to her that it would be surprising if she actually made a contribution to English, when she asked to be allowed to go to her music lesson. Right from the beginning of her school career she has been told by numerous teachers that she should contribute more in lessons, but at the same time she has always found this hard and continues to do so to this day. She is a committed and hard-working student who pays close attention in lessons, but she really struggles to pluck up the confidence to make a verbal contribution during class discussions, especially in a subject like English where there might not be one "right" answer. She has taken your comment as a wake-up call and is determined to try harder to put her hand up. Please could I ask you to encourage her in this endeavour, as fear of being "wrong" makes it harder for her?

Thank you, and kind regards,

Dorothy L

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llhj · 23/11/2015 20:06

A very unnecessary comment which wouldn't help any situation. Email teacher with your points. Politely but firmly.
Your dd will need to contribute more though, it's really important for developing her confidence etc going forward. Just keep encouraging her etc and perhaps she could email teacher herself expressing her feelings. That would be brave.

Original poster
DorothyL · 23/11/2015 20:01

Email or wait till parents' evening in two weeks' time?

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UnlikelyPilgramage · 23/11/2015 19:59

I think this is an occasion where you are justified in nicely letting the teacher know how your daughter felt.

If she's basically a decent sort who misjudged a sarky comment she'll apologise. If not, you can decide what (if anything) you want to do next Flowers

Original poster
DorothyL · 23/11/2015 19:56

Argh comment not commet!!

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