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Original poster

11+ Tutoring, unhappy child, grammar or comp??

28 replies

TreeHuggerMum1 · 14/11/2015 10:48

Might waffle a bit but here goes.
My son has always been bright and confident, lives primary school, and is in "silver" for pretty much everything. He is also very sporty and plays football, karate and does a dance class.
We always planned for him to go to Grammar school and this was always considered "achievable" by the school.
He started his tutoring in Sep and has been a vile child ever since...
He argues back, is badly behaved when out and about, is mean to his siblings, hasn't finished some of his school homework to the standards required, he had a test with his tutor and only answered half of the questions and of those only got half right...
My question is do you think this is connected to the 11+ tutoring and homework or am I reading too far into things. I have asked him why he is difficult and he says he doesn't realise he is, he says he likes his tutor and is happy to go to whatever school I want him to go to and he will know children at both the grammar school and the local comp.
Is anyone else experiencing the same with their almost 10 years old boy?
Has anyone tried to do the grammar / 11+ without tutoring and been successful?

OP posts:
BuckBuckBuckBuckBuck · 14/11/2015 11:34

Well, my usual explanation for vile behaviour is either they're tired, or we're too preoccupied with something else (y'know, like sick parents 200 miles away, not FB!). So, I'd be bringing bed time forward by 15 mins. Not as a punishment, but until he can cope with being polite on less sleep...

The grammar thing depends on lots of things. My 2 have got into our grammar (which selects on highest marks if you're out of catchment, as we are) with me preparing/tutoring them. I'd worry about it less if they'd just needed to pass (if we were in catchment, or going for one of the other grammars). They say you only need 1 or 2 practices of a style of questions to know it, and to improve speed, only 5 or so to get to top speed. They also need guidance on techniques, e.g. if you don't know it move on, check you're half way through at half-time, etc. I'm capable of this and have done so with my kids. I'm working on the next, but probably won't really do much till after Christmas. To be honest, about May is early enough. Unless you're talking super-selective and English/Maths tests (ours are VR/NVR).

Friends have done a variety of things. A minority have tutors round here. Some get in, some don't.

In conclusion... I'd put him to bed earlier.

Donnerwetter · 14/11/2015 11:33

How much homework is his tutor giving him?
I know some people who got into our local grammar with no tutoring, just practised a few papers. They are bright, but not geniuses. Probably wouldn't work for a super-selective though.
It might be worth making sure that the tutor is only doing what is really needed (focusing on what he is not good at, rather than spending time on things he can already do), and is not giving too much homework. I would also keep an eye on the lessons, to ensure that there is not a problem with how the lessons are run. You could tutor your DC yourself, if necessary. It's not rocket science.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 14/11/2015 11:24

It could be his age...or the pressure. Is the grammar school a very competitive one? I was advised not to put my very bright DD through the tutoring unless she was predicted strong 6's in year 6. She wasn't...so I didn't.

The only child I know who got in with no tutoring was extremely bright...she flew through.