Did you go to private or grammar and are sending your child to state school?

You have the wrong end of the stick. It is not a case of we went selective / the DCs are going comprehensive. It is a case of we went to school a generation ago / the DCs are in the here & now.
Current-day comps are nothing like comps of a generation ago.

I went to (state) grammar school and loved it. Enjoyed every single minute of my schooling. DH went to independent and didn't enjoy it.

Our children will go to state schools - actually the grammar school system I went through (hopefully). My DH is opposed to private school because of his experience and he feels, the one dimensional education it offers (suitable for only those very academic and wealthy). None of our children for this reason will go to an independent school.

I do think there is a desire to replicate the education a parent had for their child if the parent enjoyed it so for me, yes, I would be sad if I could not do this because I enjoyed it.

everyone in my family is state educated - dh in a comprehensive, I went to a girls' grammar school, our eldest child is at a comprehensive.

She is a thousand times happier than either dh or I were. I felt completely oppressed by mediocre teaching & a dreary curriculum and dh's education was limited by bizarre, faddy teaching methods & constant disruption. DD doesn't have to deal with any of that & is doing well. We're happy that the options she had for GCSE - 10 subjects, all academic, all taken in year 11 - won't limit her in any way.

I think music provision was better at the grammar but then it was full of kids who had had lessons for years. Also did some amazing trips but the posh parents could afford them. I can't think of any other opportunities the grammar offered over the comp. Both did Latin, had good teachers, pushed kids for med school & Oxbridge etc.

Yes, and I am actively impressed with DC's state comprehensive. The range of subjects, the opportunities, mostly with the standard of teacher (and we had some SHOCKERS in my highly selective part private / part LA Scholarship school - but we did well anyway), and with his progress.

I know I am lucky in that we have a choice of good comps in our area of s London, I have no argument with parents who can and do choose private education, but at the moment, even if we could easily choose private we would be happy with the school. What it lacks in playing fields it makes up for in many other factors.

Every parent can give their child a wealth of experiences that are not dependent on wealth / income. Don't be sad and regretful, look for opportunities to pass on what you learned, and enjoy listening to and learning from your child's experiences in a different environment.

I went to comp but DH to private. His parents are both retired private school teachers/headmaster. Our children will be going to state school, we can't afford private. I don't think DH is too bothered, he's of the opinion that if our girls are going to succeed then they will be able to do it anywhere, and we can equip them with tools to succeed at home too. His parents are more bothered by it (but they're massive snobs).
DH and I met at work, both on the exact same graduate scheme. Both now earn the same salary. Only my education (until university!) was free and his cost tens of thousands of pounds!

DD2 changed schools at Sixth form to another comprehensive. Ironically its the same school I went to when it was a grammar. It is so much nicer now. All they cared about in my day was results and some teachers were truly sadistic. Believe me grammars are not 'better' than comps.

Dh and I both went to high-profile private schools. Dc are/have all been at inner-city primary schools and comprehensives.

I am delighted with the quality of the education they've been offered. Yes, the facilities are not as glitzy as the private schools up the road, but they're turning out sensible, confident kids who don't live in a little bubble of privilege, can get on with people from all sorts of backgrounds, know that they have to work hard and be self-motivated to get the grades they want, and don't think the world owes them a living.

And they come out knowing that whatever they've achieved is their own achievement, no-one has bought it for them or handed it to them on a plate.

No regrets at all. If other people want to buy their way out of the schools that my dc attend, then that's their decision, it doesn't make me sad or resentful, I just shrug tbh.

Hello, I went to an Independent Girls' school and DH went to state. Our DS has just started at local comprehensive (Y7). I do feel that I am not giving him the opportunities that I had, BUT at his local state primary he achieved 5,5,6 in his Y6 stats and so far he is loving Y7 and hopefully with support at home he will achieve well at state secondary. I can't yet tell you if it it is successful but can totally empathise with your feelings that he's not getting the same education that I had.

Grammars are state schools!

I went to grammar, my husband to independent school. One child went to a super selective grammar, one to a comp. The comp was the better experience in my opinion. I hated my grammar as I was badly bullied as was DD1. DH hated his school. DD2 quite liked the comp.

Don't assume a comp is a worse option.