Did you go to private or grammar and are sending your child to state school?

DH attended a very good public school. We send DS to the local comp, we could afford to send him to a private school but have chosen not to.

DS will hopefully do well regardless of school because we have the ability to tutor him at home. He is on course for A* and A at GCSE.

I do know we live in a postcode that is a target area for University recruitment by certain universities. My friend is a University admissions tutor, I was surprised to say the least.

I will start a new thread - so not to hijack this one! Sorry!!

I'm at this crossroad and I need to make a decision soon.

My ds is very very clever. He is top 5% in his state primary year group and would likely pass the superselective grammar school (Reading Boys in Reading) but unfortunately, we don't live in Berkshire. We live outside the catchment area for R.boys and we are not sure whether it's worth the move.

Our local and nearest comp secondary school is OK. It's GCSE results this year was 59% A-C including Eng&Maths and about 10% of its cohort were straight A students. However,no doubt about it, it has a fairly sizeable intake with some pretty rough kids who have no interest in school at all. We wouldn't be able to get into any other secondary school easily as we are not in catchment in Oxfordshire.

We are considering two private schools (MCS who sends about a third (!) of it's sixth form to Oxbridge) and the other, Abingdon Boys who has pretty outstanding A*/A passes at GCSE and A-Level.

I'm really really torn. I feel my ds will do well whatever but at the same time, want life to be made easier for him at school and let him be in a class with similar peers who are all aiming for Russell Group Uni's or Oxbridge.

If my ds was just middle of the road, then I wouldn't bother with private school but don't know he would achieve his full potential at our bog standard state given he has a real thirst for learning (and ambition). I just don't know what to do!! Yes, we can afford it - but at a sacrifice.

I went state (in the States) and DH went private (boarding in UK).
Our kids go to state Catholic though our eldest is in a Free School (secondary).
I am totally fine with our decision. I have to be! We can't afford private and even if we could, I am all for supporting good local state schools. Our son's education at the Free School is stellar! I didn't always feel this way and was weary (becuase it's rather new and it has had teething problems) but wow, has it really hit its stride this year. It's a great school. We feel so lucky with the schools our kids are in, really, really fortunate.

DH and I privately educated. We've done prep followed by one of the best comps in the country, no regrets whatsoever, the education is outstanding. Had we not gone that route they would have stayed private. We didn't consider any other state schools. I feel no guilt at all as I'm completely confident that they will come out if school with decent GCSE's and A Levels and as 80% of leavers go on to Russell Group uni's plus about 15 a year to Oxbridge I've no reason to think my kids won't be one of those and therefore I can't see what we would have gained by staying private.

DH and I went to a top boarding school in our country( was free), so we do feel we need to provide DSs a good education. As there are no grammar school in our county, so we send DS1 to a selective independant school. The school is lovely, DS1 loves it very much. However, I do feel it doesn't provide so much more than a good comp. Students are lovely. But teaching is not special at all. DS1 is quite able, his primary school teacher( state) tried very hard to challenge him , but his secondary school teacher didn't do much . The main advantage in this school is his friends. As it is selective, most of his classmates treat study seriously, so the atmosphere in school is quite good.

As we are not rich, so now I think we should have sent him to a good comp, and pay a bit more attention to out school activities, the end results won't be much different.

I went to private school and DH went to a top grammar.

Our DCs went to a local state primary which was very good. But thankfully they are now at an excellent state grammar. Sending them to one of the local comprehensives was something we never even considered.

The comprehensives are okay but they can't touch the grammar in terms of academic results or facilities.

Both myself and DH went to private schools but our DC are currently in state. To be honest I think the private vs state argument is a bit misleading ie the sole question is whether the school itself is any good and whether your DC will be happy there. If your local state school is good don't waste your money on private. There is plenty of research showing that the individual school doesn't make much difference to the academic performance of middle class children as against IQ, family background etc and state schools are generally much better than they were in our day.Indeed having had kids in the state sector for a while I would be worried about sending them to most private schools (apart from the top 20 or so schools with an Oxbridge rate of 20% plus), particularly if it meant a long journey. IMO most of the other private schools provide pretty mediocre educations for the money and your DC is just as likely to get into drugs/bullied/ abused etc (the latter two even more likely if they are boarding-especially in boys only schools).

Not the point of the OP but:

I don't see how it is unacceptable to send a child to a private school but acceptable to send out of borough - in both situations parents are choosing to opt out of the local state provision. FWIW I think both are acceptable.

We have a duty to educate our children but we don't have to delegate that education to the state if we don't wish to.

Private independent.

I would love to do the same for DC but there is no way on EARTH we would ever be able to afford it.

So, state school it will be.

Thansk! That's really good to know - was bonkers before - now I shall desist disseminating misinformation

Tiffin has designated area as part of its admissions criteria which brings its 'catchment' to within about 10k now. It doesn't include Portsmouth now!

The Tiffin 'catchment' is vastly bigger than 14k! Kids come from as far away as Portsmouth (60+ miles away) - no cut-off on distance.

On the other way round...
Same here. DH & I had mediocre education in state schools.
Our DC were not unhappy at the local outstanding primary, but were bored - much happier when moved to local selective prep.
Where we live the primaries are generally good (leafy London suburb) , but until recently the secondaries have been very poor (look at the comparisons of 'expected progress' on the Dfe website - shocking) and the nearest is still dire, despite employing glossy PR people to talk it up.
DH and I feel that it is the 'ride'; that matters, more than the 'destination', so although we have earned a lot of money, and so have had a good 'outcome', we want out DC to have happy and stimulating school life, which would not be possible at the local secondary.

Private and state grammar - (me/their father); children private. That is working for us but as can be seen above plenty of parents go the state route and the children do fine.

I went to a grammar school and my son is at a comp. Well it's not quite like that here as we're in an 11 plus area so the comps have very few grammar-achieving children as part of the mix.

The first school he wasat was dreadful and he was very unhappy, so we moved him over in Y7 and he's in another comp now.

He loves it as his first criterion is a happy social set up and it's got that. He's not very academic but that doesn't matter as he tries hard, and is happy. The HT likes the children; this matters enormously.

The HT at the previous school didn't seem to like children very much. That was never going to work out.

My second baby is highly academic and I imagine will go to a grammar, probably a super selective, though he's only just 8 - I am fairly sure he'd pass the 11 plus if he took it now tbh.

Different schools uit different children. Have a very good look around and try to choose the one you feel happiest about.

I have to admit I like the idea of my children being in that 'safe and privileged' environment but you have to be realistic. Ds1 was never going to manage it; he is dyslexic and his brain just doesn't work that way. So it was a case of finding a school where he'd be happy and finally we have done that.

One of the reasons for better schools is ...

... that you get loads of cash thrown at you.

the City of London getting the most at £8,595 ahead of Tower Hamlets (£7,014) and Hackney (£6,680.05) ... At the other end of the scale, Cambridgeshire is the worst funded per-pupil at £3,950, followed by South Gloucestershire (£3,969) and Leicestershire (£3,995)

^

This. We live in Cambridgeshire, and our local primary schools are (1) over subscribed (the new one they haven't even finished building yet is already full) (2) not exactly stellar (if I'm being generous). At secondary, the position is horrific (only 36% of students got 5A* to C at GCSE inc Maths and English this year - last year was a whopping 38%!).

OP - your child(ren) will be fine, so long as you do your homework on which of the local schools would be best for them, and manage to get them into a decent and supportive school. If, on the other hand, your local school's OFSTED reports, results and the atmosphere you experience when visiting the school make you worried, then you may want to consider other options (including moving).

nicole, if you live in such a deprived borough it is hard to see how th existence of private schools makes much diffence to you, as presumably not many children in the borough are even going to independent schools.

I went to a state then a grammar school. Both had their issues. The big city secondary - poverty, low expectations and limited provisions for talented kids.

The small town grammar - mostly made up of wealthier kids who mocked me for being poor, higher expectations but with that came higher prices for materials/trips etc, talented kids were the norm so education suited. A few teachers did spot potential and extra need and provided support/extra tuition.

Mine will go to which ever one can provide him the best support for his SEN/SN and usually its not always grammar schools but state and I am OK with that. Extra tuition plus music lessons will be budgeted for as and when to keep him on track

Ooh, I'm in one of those catchment areas, too. Houses in my street are pretty cheap, though, by local standards.