AIBU to be pissed off at ds's sports day allocation?

Yes, I wasn't trying to belittle anyone's problems, just trying to be helpful. I was just saying that at her school it is compulsory to compete at sports day. She had to choose her own event. She chose discus because she knew that no one had done it before so no one would be an expert, she knew it would be out of the way with no-one watching and the teachers measured the results quietly so you didn't know how you had done unless you asked. The teacher in OP's case might have used the same logic and judged it to be the best event for him. I'll leave this thread alone if you think that I'm not qualified to comment - just to say good luck to OP's ds - hope it goes well.

Maybe her issues in confidence differ to those in other children. Lucky for her she also has no Sen.

Yes, she has poor confidence and low self esteem.

Great,glad for you.

Has your dd got SEN,poor confidence or low self esteem issues though?

Dd is very unsporty, tall, skinny and gangly and elected to do discus at her sports day having never done it before. She did fine - middle of the pack. No-one was really watching her and she came away unscathed.

At our school every child has to participate but gets a chance to put their name down for the event they want to do. There are some non-sporty alternatives though. Thing is only the track events are watched so no one really cares what they get - if you get shot or triple jump you do your minute on your event then go sit by the track.

That being said - I was put off sport for years due to being last - really really last - in a race at primary. I've only just started running again.

At all the secondaries I've taught in, shot putt and javelin are in the morning with other field events. There is no one watching for the heats, only the PE teachers recording scores, and the non-athletic students usually ask to do these as they are over quickly, have no audience and no one has ever practised much so they are on an equalish footing. Perhaps the PE staff think they are "protecting" your son by putting him down for an event with no audience, and therefore saving him from having to race in front of the crowds in the afternoon, particularly if everyone is expected to participate in some way.
However, if it was my son and he was distressed at the thought, I'd let him stay home regardless of the intentions.

It is possible that your DS' long limbs and height may give him a sligyt advantage in "beginners" shotput. You say he is stronger than he appears? If none of the participants have been taught technique or selected specifically because they very powerful, then I don't imagine any of them will heft the shot very far.
I recall doing shot put in a school sports day, completely unskilled. The child who did best was the lanky cricket bowler, probably because he was confident about throwing and controlling a ball.

My "blinkered" view comes from actual experience of other people's attitudes to my ds. I have been astounded by the hostility and accusations towards both of us, him surrounding his autism. I'm glad your experiences have been largely positive, mine have not been, over nearly a decade.

My nieces' school have regular concerts where any pupil can perform..

CAN. I take it they aren't forced? So it's not the same

Excellent post by CamelHump at 02:02:41
Also by RogueDad at 09:10:17 ....."It sport's day, not Maths A level, for Pete's sake - people need to stop indulging the pretence that it actually matters"

The difference it PUBLIC. Why should you have to do something you're not good at in front of a crowd? There would be uproar (quite rightly) at public spelling tests or maths tests, and you would never ask someone who can't sing to do a solo - If doing something poorly in public is character building, why not?
My nieces' school have regular concerts where any pupil can perform...solo, duets, groups - singing, playing, interpretive dance, whatever floats your boat. Whenever a child from the Resource Base they have there, performs, you can just feel the love in the room from the other pupils. There is no humiliation, just admiration for people who don't find life easy but who actually get up and do what they can. I think some people on this thread have a very blinkered view of the attitudes of all pupils, staff and parents who are alongside pupils with SEN/D.

ReallyTired are you a PE teacher that has taken personal offence to ASD children not wanting to participate in something which humiliates them?

Your attitude is very offensive

I love the world you live in ^ReallyTired* I wish ds and I lived there. You know in that world where reasonable adjustments must be made and a suitable education can and will be provided with enough notice.

Maybe if we lived there in that world ds wouldn't be home educated because there is NO school nearby that can accommodate him (I live in London). Maybe he wouldn't have spent his formative primary school years being assaulted and restrained, coming home daily covered in cuts and bruises and regressing to the point where he became non verbal age eight and I had no choice but to remove and home educate him.

A child has a disablity with affects their ablity to partisipate in normal school life then you need to talk to their teachers weeks before hand rather than pulling them out on the day. Most schools (including PE) teachers will make reasonable adaptations gvien enough notice. There is no need to go in blazing, a half decent school will respond to reasonable concerns. By law they have to make reasonable adjustments.

I repeat myself, a disablity should not be used as an excuse to get out of something a child simply does not want to do. It is perfectly possible for an child with ASD to become spoilt if every whim is pandered to. Lots of children (both SEN and NT) hate sports day, but they simply have to get on with it.

All the modern PE teachers I have met have been professional people. They really care passionately about the children whatever their sporting ablity. The grumpy sadistic PE teacher of the past is something in history books. Nowadays PE teachers have to meet the same standards as academic subject teachers.

I have watched a lot of secondary sports days, and children are really supportive of each other. Surprisingly so.

He might well be doing shot put because it is a low profile event. Races have far more vocal support given to them, and the runners are more exposed than the field competitors.

Lastly, my DS is also oddly tall and scrawny and is not a disaster at shot put. Long levers.

It sounds like some of the schools need to think about how they organise their sports days. DDs I feel gets a good balance. The class sports captain negotiates the teams for the traditional events, maximum of one track, one field and one relay per person. The track events are in the afternoon in front of an audience (parents and pupils not in a track event). The field events are in the morning (no audience) and all pupils not participating in any traditional event do a selection of "wacky races" run by the sports leaders. These earn points for their class for participation.They vary from year to year but are things like egg and spoon, passing a ball along the team , tug of war etc. Everyone does something but for the non sporty it is no more threatening than a normal PE lesson. And the afternoon audience do not know which of the watching/supporting pupils were non sporty or expert triple jumpers.

There isn't a 'crowd' watching the shot put though! I did in fact wander past the shot put event at ds1's sports day recently (he'd been chosen for the long jump nearby). I think I spotted about 15 boys (half of whom were chatting and not watching), 2 teachers and about 4 parents (there were only 6 parents watching the long jump). There were literally hundreds of people watching the track events though - it's an impressive school with a 'showpiece' track. I totally understand the embarrassment of coming last in a track event with everyone watching and the thought of participating in a swimming gala where there's 'no escape' would horrify any child who's not good at swimming but nobody cares about the shot put - it's looked on as a fun event!

What event did the op's son participate in last year and how did he cope?

I think it's a shame that PE departments don't focus more on encouraging children to find a type of exercise that they enjoy and can carry on into adulthood.
There is a place for competitive sports for those kids that enjoy them but many of us are not sporty and cannot succeed at them.
In your particular circumstances I'd be very tempted to keep your DS off school and calmly let the PE dept know why.

The difference it PUBLIC. Why should you have to do something you're not good at in front of a crowd? There would be uproar (quite rightly) at public spelling tests or maths tests, and you would never ask someone who can't sing to do a solo - If doing something poorly in public is character building, why not? Great if you're not the self conscious type, but many of us are, and it does feel humiliating. I would ask the PE teacher for their rationale - maybe it was because they thought it would be tucked away. Is there anything he wouldn't mind doing? Could you ask for him to do that? If no joy, obviously, an emergency dental appointment will be necessary.

My son, who is unusually small and not that strong, was also put in the shot put team. We did wonder about it but our son thought it was funny. He was over the moon when his team won as he had been partnered with some hulks who recorded the biggest throws by far. We had a good laugh about it. It sport's day, not Maths A level, for Pete's sake - people need to stop indulging the pretence that it actually matters.