Right. Tell me what to do here- key words- 11+, g&t, University, widening access......

I don't think a school can be expected to know which DC have no one supporting university education and which do.

The reality is that they know their pupils are at a disadvantage and that's enough.

Bertrand
The chances of it being a life changing opportunity for my child are vanishingly small.
You misinterpreted my thinking.
Its just as likely that your son will visit and think
bollocks to Mother's planning, I'll become a plumber
Life can change in lots of directions.

The school have the full information set.
You do not.

My kids have grown up in and around a campus - they still go to every event that is offered to them. It would be daft not to.

Just because parents have been to Uni, there is no guarantee their children will, or that they will get the grades for a good one.
I don't know if the OP is in a superselective area or not, nor what proportion of the kids at her sec modern get the grades to go to top Unis, but it is likely to be less than in a non grammar school area. For that reason, her son needs every opportunity to raise his aspirations - he may well be at school where there is a less strong work ethic and despite the family having a background of Uni and privilege (whatever that means) they will have to work hard to compensate for the day-to-day experience of not being in a real academic setting. The fact he would rather do PE than go on the trip might say to me, that he isn't as committed to getting to Uni and the years of work ahead of him before it can happen as he might be - he should go and he and his parents should seize every opportunity given - children in the grammars and independents will be seizing opportunities - it doesn't matter if it is called a course for broadening access or for talented children or for state school children or whatever - it is a chance to widen his horizons and something that will help him think about his personal future, not the past of his parents.

I suspect the kind of people who tend to say 'no' to offers of such a day out, are the parents of children they are particularly aimed at - those who can't see the value or think it is not for their child. For slightly different reasons, the OP is in danger of putting herself in the refuser camp with those parents. That really wouldn't be providing her son with privilege would it!

So you wouldn't expect him to give up his place on the football team for a less able child who may need a confidence boost with sport, but he could give up a place on a trip to a sports camp?

"LEAfunded sports camp for disadvantaged children"

Is someone only disadvantaged if their parents don't have money or degrees?

Some pps have said that it is up to the OP to decide what to do.

I absolutely disagree in this situation. I feel that the OPs DS is the only person who should be deciding if he wants to go and if he feels it might be a useful experience. Deciding on his behalf is unnecessary and controlling.

OP without meaning to sound patronising I remember how your ds was "bound to pass" the 11 plus and your shock when he didn't . You have brilliantly supported him in the high school , however you never know where life may turn . Your ds is only 13/14 peer group pressure really sets in in the next couple of years and he may change his ideas .

I am afraid turning down the place can be perceived however not intentioned as patronising . You will say you are freeing up a place for a more disserving child others may see it as you believing your family to be too good for this opportunity.

I think you're overthinking it. Very altruistic of you - would you ask your DS to give up his place on the football team to broaden access for a less sporty child?

It's not unusual to have university visits in y9. My dd went on one.

Besides the thing about GCSE choices LaVolcan mentions, it might inspire them to work hard at their GCSEs so they have a better chance of getting the grades they need to get there.

I would have thought that year 9 was a good year for any young person to visit a university, of whatever background. It would give them the chance to find out the differing course requirements and one would hope, stop them making silly GCSE choices which close doors for them.

OP you really really need to come to terms with the fact that your ds IS quite seriously disadvantaged and all the degrees in the world that you, his father, the milkman etc hold are not going to change the fact that his peers (who will shape his views more than you, whatever reassuring noises he makes) are low-aspiring, low achieving, and he will never receive optimal teaching at a secondary modern.

Stop navel gazing and send him on the bloody trip FFS.

What sort of message do you think it sends to him and the handful of other potential university aspiring kids if the kid with university educated parents doesn't even bother to visit the local university.

Could we put this another way Bertrand? If your DS had got into the Grammar School and they offered a university visit, would you still want to say no?

This remind me another post which OP said she didn't know should she feel being offended that her DS has been offered this broadening access opportunity.

Bertrand - I think you still haven't really faced up to the fact that your DS is at a sec mod. He is exactly the sort of person that a broadening access scheme is aimed at - a child at a sec mod. It will be important to his school that he does well and takes the opportunities that are offered to him so that other parents as put out as you were by their kids going there can see that their kids won't be as disadvantaged by going there as they fear. You are potentially doing a lot more people than just your DS a disservice by rejecting the opportunities that come his way on the grounds that he is 'different'. He isn't different - he's a pupil at that school and just as entitled to perks for pupils at that school as any other pupil at that school.

There may be more than one trip!!! There may only be 10 suitable candidates at this particular time. You are obviously determined to deny him the place, so I think you had better go with your instincts, and not follow the advice of the vast majority if people here.

Having read all the posts, I stand by my original comment in that no-one actually knows whether the school has invited all possible children onto this trip, or not. One has to assume they have.

I think if a child comes from a family that is very used to university life, I really cannot see why that child cannot encourage and support others who may be less sure about their destination after school. Only on the tv last night there were lots of young people agonising over the "cost" of university and not understanding the loans system and repayment terms. Whilst year 9 is quite early to think about university, a great deal of work needs to be done amongst the less well off to persuade them that they can go to university. A child who has a positive view of university education is surely a bonus on this trip and should have a positive view of the school's intentions. He should be encouraged to think about the others who are going with him. The fact he would rather do pe looks a bit selfish and it is a shame that he appears unwilling to engage with the admirable reasons for the trip, for the sake of his friends.

Sounds to me like he might be privileged in some ways and not others. Sounds like the school he is attending wouldn't count as a school for the privileged - so he qualifies,because he goes there. In terms of being invited,that is all there is to it. He meets the criteria.

As others have said, the more visits of this kind for ALL students the better - they all need to go and see with their own eyes - being told about it by the parents with Xdegrees doesn't replace the going for themselves. Seize the opportunity with both hands.

And I find it extremely odd that someone would ask for everyone's opinions with absolutely no intention of listening to or acknowledging the very valid points which have been made over and over again. Perhaps university is about learning to ask a question with an open mind and then to formulate ones opinion based on all of the evidence and being prepared to change ones mind if the evidence suggests it is necessary, rather than being determined to defend a position regardless.

And this thread makes me wonder about your son too. Is he very aware that he is 'different' to the other children at his school? Kids do often get a bit of a sense of having a different background, but I think it is far less than we as adults imagine it. So, at the expensive school I work in, children from extremely affluent backgrounds mix happily with those on full bursaries - and the kids are interested in whether someone is fun and if they are sporty and what they are like as a person. They don't talk about how many degrees their parents have or what jobs they do.
If your son is very aware of his difference, it may well be because you have made him very aware of it - probably not beneficial really. And actually, at the end of the day,perhaps he isn't so very different to the others anyway - they are all there together having the same schooling experience.