Is it too early to start a 2016 girls 11+ W/SW London thread?

I agree with Needmoresleep. My DS is at LU. It fits him like a glove! I do think these schools know what they are looking for and it’s not always just the ones who come out top in the exams.

Shirleycantbe I'm so with you on this - they all seem to offer impressive facilities, results and polite, generally pleasant girls.

At Streatham&Clapham this morning - much less polished than the likes of PHS, but came across well to DD and me.

Now to narrow done the 8 we've seen to a manageable (whats that??) number.

Mum, don't worry abut tutoring. Instead do what you can to keep her calm and enjoying the process. Private schools will be looking for fit, and both SPGS and LU particularly, are known to not offer places to some very very bright girls who might not enjoy what can be quite robust environments.

If she does not get a place you could ask for feedback but also perhaps look on the bright side. These schools can have some quite specific cultures and, though you will never know, might have been absolutely the wrong place.

So do some fun things over half term and Christmas, anything that will help with her confidence and maturity. Read some good books and see some interesting plays. Double check that she is getting adaquate preparation at school, but she should be. You might consider a couple of the GDST as back up as they pick up a number of the more able, partly because they are cheaper. However I can see the advantage of choosing a school within the same consortium as G&L.

Thank you for starting this thread! Our DD is due to sit the 11+ for SPGS, G&L, Latymer Upper and LEH in January. Her current school head also recommended FH (SS) for her as a back up just in case. She sat the Downe House assessment recently so we have covered ourselves on all day/boarding fronts. She is bright, sporty but terribly shy so unsure how she will fare under pressure and during the interviews. Her Prep school have been hugely supportive but we are hearing many stories of her classmates being tutored for the exams. I have been against tutoring as I would prefer for her to get into a school that suits her abilities rather than get tutored to pass an exam and then forever struggle. I know that I have missed the boat on the tutor front now but feeling hugely guilty that she may now be at a disadvantage against her overly tutored peers. Are the exams really as "tutor proof" as they claim to be?

We went to PHS in Monday - I really liked but DD was rather negative. I'm not quite sure why, she may have just been feeling tired and overwhelmed by the whole process.

As it's easy for us to get to we will apply anyway and if she happens to get in, hope they can change her mind.

I have to say all the Open Days are starting to blur into one - all these marvellous schools with amazing extracurricular activities, brilliant results etc etc and all I'm thinking is "But are you going to give my daughter a place?!"

How we all doing with the open days etc?

Went to PHS yesterday, nice school (not much outside space), nice girls and obvs good academics.

Another couple to see, then decide which ones we'll have a go at!

Interesting reading for us SW London parents, in another recently revitalised thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/2306110-Streatham-and-clapham-high-school

Every year in our school there's at least one child who's over tutored, over stressed and doesn't do as well as he/she could. It's so hard to see. My advice having been through it before is to TRY to trust the system. Schools are good at choosing the children who are right for their school. Don't enter too many schools, don't OVER tutor - it's no fun scraping into a top school and spending the next few years bumping along the bottom - and be kind to yourselves and your kids. It's madness, but it's necessary madness if you want your child to go to an over subscribed good London school. Oh - and most children really like the senior school they end up at, whether it was their number 1 choice or 4th! Good luck to all.

Good luck to all this year

I would agree with 'sure thing' schools one year being 'hard to get into' the next year, and so on. Its changing, and has been changing, very fast in London. dd's first choice was a new school which was deemed 'sure thing' the previous year - then suddenly it was oversubscribed, and they turned people away. dd was top of the waiting list, is now there and very happy, but one of her friends (who eventually went to Emanuel) was never offered a place. So much luck involved.

Which is not to add stress, but hopefully to support the shrug-your-shoulders-and-do-your-best-but-don't-beat-yourselves-or-your-kids-up-as-random-is-a-factor point of view.

I have another blissful year+ of not stressing as dd2 is in Y4. And god knows whats going to be happening in SW London by the time she's in Y6

Hopefully not too many are that extreme on keeping their children off in between!

Your DD sounds in good form. She'll be one of those friendly faces on the circuit. It's really easy to sit next to the same child each school exam, if grouping is by alphabetical order for example, they make friends very quickly and get familiar with each other...all helps them to relax!

Makes sense Harlowcar if you've come from a junior where others are going through the process too. In our case DD was sitting solo, as will many DC going through 11 entry, hence the value of using resources like MN for support vs RL! Last thing her school wanted was her coming back!

The after exam/interview 'debrief' routine has been probably the biggest bonding event between DD and me to date. Whilst most would be horrified at a parent asking questions of how things went, what were they asked in interview etc, for us it was the way to de-stress. And laugh at how crazy it all was. By that time, what was done was done..weirdly helping her to move forward. The rule was though, no talking until we'd ran off the school premises, and mindful as thankgoditsover pointed out, not to be over-heard in restaurants.

Not too difficult to spot the prep children who had broken their schools' rules, as they were always in uniform, even when told own clothes were preferable.

Do what ever works for you. Every parent knows they need to try and keep the lid on being too intense, some are more successful than others. Some kids like to do post mortem...others don't.

Sometimes going back to school after the exams can be a good chance for the child to process the exam with classmates and teachers who've done it all/seen it all, rather than spend time with a wound-up, over anxious parent. I would also add that making sure your child continues in the routine of going to school in between exams is also wise. I know there can be a temptation to keep them at home but my year was told of one boy whose mother kept him at home to tutor him herself, and he ended up burning out and failing to get into the school his family wanted him to attend. Tutoring DC at home myself was never really on the cards for me - so very happy let the school do the heavy lifting and just backed up with practice papers at home.

Completely agree with Ealingwestmum, but I'd add that your kids' junior school can take a hike if they insist on children returning to school (unless of course you're unable to be with them or you think they want to). Three hours of intensive work in an unfamiliar environment - that's definitely a full day to me.

The pizza thing really helped... but maybe don't go to the Pizza Express nearest the exam school as it's so embarrassing sitting there surrounded by posh parents and wan children.

Hi orangina and the rest of you going through the entry process for 2016 - good luck!

It's more a marathon, not a sprint so pace yourselves as the stress gets to you otherwise (easily said I know). Just when you think the open days are a challenge, you make your application decisions, then xmas comes before you know it and then they are straight into the madness early Jan, or earlier if boarding.

I think it's a personal decision how many your DC sit for. Only you can tell what their personalities can take or judge on their abilities, how many they need to take. If unsure, many over safety net (again, understandably). If this becomes you, try not to get drawn into the drama of stats of how many children sit for x number of places!

My DD loved the whole thing (I absolutely did not) and after a dodgy first exam day, corrected her approach on the rest (4 in total). She really wanted the chance to secure her ideal school. Other children were completely worn out, and absorbing some of the angst from their parents (natural) but they are still 10/early 11 so read your child's maturity/resilience levels before putting them into too many...whatever that number is for you.

Pizza/lunch always helps after each step if your junior school allows...many have said this process is tougher than GCSEs/A/Uni apps because of DCs' maturity levels but expectation to perform is enormous...

And read previous threads. Learn from them. They are full of knowledge and underlying all of the past years is the same message...most do get selected by the right school, many get a choice

Yeah not too sure about this 'sure thing' also!!

DS sat four last year. The number 1 choice was the hardest exam and hardest to get in to but he did well and has recently started!

Number 2 choice he got into also and was the 3rd hardest exam

Number 3 choice he didn't get to interview stage and was the second hardest

And finally the sure thing banker fall back option... well he was offered 'waiting list' so I guess he may well have got in. The exam was the easiest of them all by far - eg. the maths he finished in half the time and did it again to check.

"working out which are the 'sure thing' schools, if such a thing can be said to exist at all.....!"

Sorry to be pessimistic, but there isn't really a 'sure thing' among the more central London schools, simply because there are far more candidates than a few years ago (shortages of all types of school places looming across the capital). Even those which were considered easy to get in to a few years ago are really turning down candidates, and barely using their waiting lists.

So applying in parallel to state schools, looking to see if any journeys to schools a bit further out are manageable, or just tucking away in your mind which prep schools go to 13 (at which point weekly boarding becomes a more reasonable prospect) might all be fallbacks to consider in case private day school doesn't work out this time round.

Schools over offer because most children will have applied to many schools. The ratio is not really 1:10 but 1:3 to 1:4

It's so hard isn't it orangina. Several of the schools we've been advised to go for have up to 10 applicants for every place. Surely lots of those girls are "good enough" to get in, but some obviously wont.

It doesn't feel like there is a "sure thing" and this is what pushes me to apply for 6 schools rather than fewer. It feels too risky otherwise if only because of the sheer numbers involved

Thanks mummyinatizz! How long did the whole thing take?

We are off to the Open Morning tomorrow...