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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

School residential trip dilemma

109 replies

redbeard · 04/07/2015 16:53

Hi, my DD 12 (asd ) was due to go on a 5 day trip on Mon, however , she has been on and off for a few weeks as to whether or not she wanted to go.

I asked her to give me a final answer on Friday , so I could inform school if she wasn't going to go , as they leave early and would be expecting her.

She was adamant she didn't want to go, and so I phoned school to tell them she would not be going.

However now she is upset and want's to go, I have said that it's too late , she made her decision etc, but my question is , will they have cancelled her place ?

I cannot contact anyone, and they leave early , any suggestions anyone?

OP posts:

Seriouslyffs · 04/07/2015 21:54

Oh buzz off cheryl how on earth is what you're saying helpful- not even in a 'for future reference' way.

saintlyjimjams · 04/07/2015 21:54

And what is wrong with leaving the decision to them?

Her daughter was overwhelmed with anxiety. it happens with ASD, frequently. She has no calmed and wants to try again. Anyone with understanding of a 12 year old with ASD (or anxiety for that matter), would be willing to be as flexible as possible.

clam · 04/07/2015 21:52

So, cheryl, if you had a child with ASD who you knew had been stressing over coming on the trip to the extent they had cancelled at the last minute, and you saw an email from their parent the day before you were due to go, you'd ignore it?

Bloody hell.

CherylBerylMeryl · 04/07/2015 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CherylBerylMeryl · 04/07/2015 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

redbeard · 04/07/2015 21:51

Nothing has had to be reorganized , that I am pretty sure of , just my daughter's name being taken off a list . The teacher organizing the trip was off site Fri afternoon, hence me not being able to let him know what was going on.

I do not mind at all being told it's too late , that will be completely understandable .

OP posts:

SofiaAmes · 04/07/2015 21:51

Wow Cheryl....having a bad day? Your aggressive stance may be endear you to some parents and children, but mostly it does make me wonder if you will just explode in the classroom one day soon and perhaps you should look into some anger management counseling before that happens. Your explosive, angry reaction to the OP's inquiry about how to be the best parent she can to her sen dd, is completely out of proportion to the situation.

CrispyFern · 04/07/2015 21:50

Wow Cheryl, you sound really unapproachable.

Whatever happens OP, sell it to your DD as the best outcome!

saintlyjimjams · 04/07/2015 21:48

The OP hasn't given any indication at all that she'll see the teachers as 'the bad ones' if they say no.

CherylBerylMeryl · 04/07/2015 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CherylBerylMeryl · 04/07/2015 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ladygracie · 04/07/2015 21:44

I'm also a teacher & was the first to suggest emailing as I would be expecting emails over the weekend before a trip. I hope you manage to get something sorted OP.
Cheryl - I am appalled by how unsympathetic & objectionable you are being.

Original poster

redbeard · 04/07/2015 21:43

I haven't even spoken to the teachers about her not going, I spoke to the admin in charge of the school trip , who was equally understanding.

As far as I know the staff going on the trip might not even know until Mon morning , which will be too late then to do anything about it.

OP posts:

saintlyjimjams · 04/07/2015 21:39

How the hell has she expected any teachers to jump. She's emailed saying her anxious daughter is now wanting to try the trip and is it still possible for her to go.

Possible responses:
No reply (so OP assumes not picked up).
Yes. (So OP and dd turn up)
No. (So OP and dd don't turn up)

Hardly asking people to jump.

clam · 04/07/2015 21:38

Good. Move along then cheryl.

saintlyjimjams · 04/07/2015 21:36

"dicking them around"

Thank fuck my son w/ASD is in a special school.

TBH if either of my other (non ASD) kids had a problem with anxiety, that was known about by their teachers, I would expect the teachers to have some understanding that a residential trip was going to be a big issue. I'd be very hmm if they couldn't cope with receiving an email over the weekend (given there is no expectation to respond to emails or even pick them up blah blah blah)

Ds1's teacher quite often emails me at 10pm on a Sunday night btw.

CherylBerylMeryl · 04/07/2015 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

redbeard · 04/07/2015 21:32

I really am fortunate , all the teachers involved at my children's school are excellent , I can't imagine any of them talking like that.

OP posts:

CherylBerylMeryl · 04/07/2015 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clam · 04/07/2015 21:30

Well, redbeard, it sounds as though you are fortunate to have understanding and approachable staff around your dd then. I'm sure they won't think you're "dicking them around."

Original poster

redbeard · 04/07/2015 21:29

I am glad you are not involved in my daughters education, they value her , whatever the circumstances and would never think badly of her changing her mind.

OP posts:

Original poster

redbeard · 04/07/2015 21:27

That was my thinking on Friday, best to let everyone know on time instead of not being able to speak to anyone at 5am on Monday morning.

It's not the first time her anxiety has got the better of her unfortunately and probably won't be the last.

Oh well, maybe next time.

OP posts:

CherylBerylMeryl · 04/07/2015 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saintlyjimjams · 04/07/2015 21:22

Oh that Hmm was to Cheryl.

It might be for the best OP. We had to abandon something rather sharpish on Friday morning. The person organising it was very understanding, and actually it was probably better abandoned before starting the activity rather than midway though.

saintlyjimjams · 04/07/2015 21:21

Hmm.

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