School advice

Agree that charis was very unkind.

If DD stays after school for anything one of us has to collect her. The school bus leaves at 3pm and there is no other public transport.

DD finishes school at 2.50 pm so always gets home before it gets dark. I drop her off at the bus stop in the morning on my way to work.

We live out in the sticks so she usually needs a lift if she goes anywhere. She will walk about in the dark with friends - on Halloween for example, just not completely on her own.

Really? So how do they go anywhere in winter?
How do they even get home from school?

What is the magic age they can be alone in the dark?

I wouldn't be happy letting my nearly 15 year old walk around on her own after dark. Our cul-de-sac has no street lights.

I do wonder what sort of world we live in if a 13 year old can't walk after dark tbh

Oh good! Fingers crossed something more permanent comes along soon!

Are the children subject to a care order at all? If so SS are obliged to help with transport. In fact even if not, do ask your SW about help with this. Could they fund a taxi in the morning before 8 to get to the terminus for London transport?
please, please do not let his school place go. He will be unsettled enough as it is (and I'm not judging at all here, I realise this is not your doing) he probably will hide his feelings as he's a 13yo boy, but this is a big upheaval for him, consistency of school place is really important. You have my sympathy, it must be awful for you all, I hope your PG is well.

Lemonade19 - what is the hour-long walk like? Is it through a reasonably safe, well-lit area? Could your ds be trusted to do it safely on his own once he was used to it?

I agree with those who suggest you try it out and see what it's really like and how long it takes. At least the days are not too short for the first half term of the Autumn term, so you shouldn't be walking in the dark. And a buggy board is a good idea to try, although they're quite tricky to handle with a 4.5 year old on them, so again, would need some practice!

Here's hoping it is a temporary situation and that you have found a more permanent and practical solution by October, as anticipated.

But Charis1 didn't want to be judgy, Bunbaker - she said so. It was her evil keyboard that typed the words selfish and crazy, while she looked on in horror.

What a horrible post Charis. The OP has been put in a horrible situation and needs practical suggestions. Being told that she is being selfish is unhelpful to say the least.

Icimoi that's not entirely accurate. The LA is only obliged if it can't place you in a closer school. In the OP's situation there are school places near her aunt's. The LA have already said that they won't do anything without a confirmed moving date.

It doesn't help in London ici as kisser free bus transport anyway.

Unless the council can actually offer you a school place in a nearer school, it will have to provide transport to the current school as a matter of law. Would that help?

@NynaevesSister: "Tell them that you are deferring her start until the start of the Spring term, which is just after Christmas. You don't have to start her until the term she turns 5."

I agree with all your ideas, with one small but potentially important correction: the place can be deferred until the child reaches compulsory school age or the start of summer term, whichever is earlier. Compulsory school age begins in the term after the child's fifth birthday. So with a February birthday, she needs to start by the beginning of summer term. She could start after Christmas but if there's a delay in getting re-housed, April is a possibility.

The LA can't force you to change schools just because you have moved out of catchment. They can only force you to do so if your son does not turn up at school.

You are being rehomed at the end of October. Plus there is the October half term so you will need to do this commute for six weeks only in the new school year, and just the last few weeks this year.

First contact your daughter's school. Tell them that you are deferring her start until the start of the Spring term, which is just after Christmas. You don't have to start her until the term she turns 5.

Next, get a buggy board or a double buggy so you can push your four year old too if they get really tired. I expect you are very short of cash. You could look for a second hand one or go to an organisation like the Salvation Army and see if anyone can loan you one.

Does your son have a phone? Talk it over with him, see if you can get him to understand what is needed if he wants to continue at the school. Set the phone with alarms, so that if he falls asleep at any point it will wake him up.

You sound exhausted, traumatised and groggy. I can't imagine what you've been through lately but it sounds like a lot.

Can you go all or part of the trip with him for the first few weeks if you have a way of having the 4 year old ride buggy or on a scooter or on a scooter with older son? You may have to stay in town - look up libraries, one o'clock clubs, and Children's centres with stay and play sessions.

I really do hope it all goes well for you. Remember it does all get better xxx

You clearly mean well and are seeking advice rightly, but you are not being practical when it comes to priority. Most importantly, your children need the best education they can get full-time. If your DS is in a good school currently, then your priority has to be to do everything so he remains there. the challenges you will face short term are nothing compared to the consequences of not facing them full term.

Why are you worried about your son falling asleep? 6:30 is early, but not seriously early. If he goes to bed by 9:30, there is no reason why he should fall asleep on his way or at school. Maybe you could do the trip with him a few times during the week-end when someone else can look after your other children so he can be confident about doing the journey on his own at some point. The key word is 'temporary' so however unpleasant it is, it will be worth it to remain at that school when you can be rehoused.

You do definitely have the right to defer your daughter's start, even if you have moved. Her February birthday means you can defer until the start of summer term, which buys you plenty of time.

If I were you I would get your son to school occasionally at least, and not enrol him elsewhere. He can't lose his place until he has been continuously absent for at least 20 school days. This does mean you run the risk of a fine, but if the LA recognises the difficulty of your situation and the temporariness, they may be lenient. Obviously that wouldn't be brilliant in the long term so if the situation drags on then you might have to move him.

well, I am giving you advice! Don't disrupt your child's education over nothing. The journey isn't exceptional, and many children and parents manage similar, much longer term. Exercise is good for children, and they are likely to arrive at school calmer and more alert. The journey time is an excellent opportunity for meaningful conversation. There is absolutely no reason not to do it.

Perhaps you should ask him what he'd prefer to do . A long journey to keep his friend and school place or a school move, possibly twice. I think Part-time would set a poor precedent tbh , it could create further issues for you with ss , and many kids leave that early for school. Alternatively are there any friends he could stay with Monday to Friday? Maybe speak to the EWO about the situation and keep asking the council about temp accommodation as this must change all the time. If they know your aunt's house is an option then they won't be looking to help.

sorry, seriously don't see the problem with leaving the house by 6.30 in the morning. Just do it for the sake of your kids. You don't want them disrupted, how selfish! I don't want to be judgy but to be even considering making your child change school just because you can't be bothered to get up in time to take him! That is crazy!

My god daughter was evicted, and moved into temporary accommodation about 50 miles from her children's schools a few years ago, and still got them there every ( well most) days for the few months they lived there. it became her full time job, to ensure continuity for her children.

We get up after 5 and leave by 6.30 every day anyway, because we live in London and DS have to get to school before the rush hour, as the buses round here are too full to get on by the time they reach our area, if we leave it any later.

Just do it, why are you making such a stink about it? It is a tiny thing to do for your child. Moving schools is a big deal, taking him away from his friends, disrupting his education, for nothing????