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Original poster

Waiting list....

115 replies

Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 11:14

I was just wondering how often I can phone / email to check on a school waiting list ...without seeming neurotic...which I am about schools as every parent is! lol! But I don't want to appear that way obviously :-)

My daughter is 9th place on a waiting list which I last checked a week ago...is too much to check again now? How often do you think is acceptable?

Thanks in advance :-)

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiasmummy · 26/03/2015 13:03

JellyandJam This particular school is a faith school so they organise their own waiting list. I wonder why the LEA would give you no indication of your child's place at all? Other people have said the same thing about their LEA.

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Jellyandjam · 26/03/2015 11:13

When I was in this position 2 years ago our LA refused to disclose my DS place on the waiting list at any point. Hopefully your LA's are more helpful and understanding.

Original poster
Tiasmummy · 26/03/2015 10:31

sparklingsky you are exactly right when you say its an expectation that people in such positions will be understanding. Its a must!
Its a case of having empathy as someone who works in a school environment and is well aware of how anxious parents must feel.

I was not happy about the email to say the least! I did actually email back...I said that I was aware when I last emailed but as waiting lists can change so fast I was not under the impression that enquiring again after a week was too soon. I also said that I am sure she understands that this is an extremely anxious time for parents and children alike... I have had no response...cant say I am surprised to be honest.

The clerk you are dealing with sounds just like how they should be! :-)

I hope you and your daughter get the school you want. Fingers crossed!

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sparklingsky · 26/03/2015 08:04

It's can be a really anxious time, if you don't have a school offer that's right for your child. I wouldn't have been happy to receive that email - and it wouldn't have taken much to acknowledge that it wasn't helpful.

FWIW I am telephoning once a week. We were 4th on offer week and have gone down the list each week. Now 11th. We didn't get any of our preferences; we have the failing school.

The admissions clerk at the school is patient and understanding. There is certainly an expectation that we will want and need to be in touch. The Deputy Head even offered the extension number of the admissions clerk when we visited. At that time I hadn't a clue.

I've heard from two parents about two Heads, who are very supportive during the admissions and appeal process, because they appreciate parents who are so committed, and determines that their child gets a good education.

Good luck everyone. We're generally quite relaxed but have found this situation is taking a toll on the family. My 10year old is pretty stressed out about her offer. I'd phone just to feel I'm doing something to help her.

kla73 · 25/03/2015 20:26

Thanks Tiasmummy. I would agree the 'we are full' statement was very much suggesting and don't contact us again. Good luck with your wait.

Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 19:54

kla73 I totally agree! It was indeed snippy and completely unnecessary. I am glad you have such a positive experience with the admissions lady you spoke to. It makes all the difference when you are already stressed out. My daughter is also on waiting lists for two other schools and none of their staff have sent me an email like that. There was not even any avenue left open in terms of contacting me if things change or anything! Just a "we are full" abrupt ending.

Your situation sounds very hopeful! Being 9th with 7 places to offer sounds like a really good place to be. I hope you get the result you want and soon! :-)

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kla73 · 25/03/2015 19:12

I think it was unnecessarily snippy email. I contacted the school where my son is on the waiting list last week and this week. On both occasions the admissions lady was lovely and very polite. In fact we had a nice chat about how stressful it is and that the process can turn normal rationale human beings into quite the opposite! She acknowledge what an emotional process it can be.

In my case the school are still chasing up those who haven't declined or accepted places and haven't offered any places yet. I have been told that there are at least 7 places to offer so his waiting list position is likely to change at some point soon - he is currently 9th. When I rang on Monday she was still chasing up the LA for that information so we agreed that I would make email contact on Friday for an update before the holidays. I am concerned that places are not going to be offered until after Easter and I think that this is an unnecessary delay. I have not been reassured that they will be offered in accordance with waiting list position at the time the places became available so being aware of our waiting list position just prior to the holidays and numbers of confirmed places at this point could be important information.

Personally I think that once a week is perfectly acceptable at the moment while there is movement in lists as the trickle down effect of those declining places happens. In another month or so that will slow down and I assume there will be little movement so it may be less acceptable to contact so regularly. I understand that contacting the school is not going to influence my waiting list position but having that information does help me to manage expectations.

miffyandsnoopy · 25/03/2015 17:31

Tiasmummy I hope you get a good outcome too :)

miffyandsnoopy · 25/03/2015 17:29

Yes, we had to really weigh up how strongly we felt about staying on the waiting list, as we know that if a space comes up we automatically lose our current offer. But after to-ing and fro-ing we decided that even though we have come around to the idea of the current offer a bit more, we would still love the opportunity to snap up our first choice, and ds felt the same as the school has a lot more to offer him based on his interests. But we are ok with the thought that if we don't get the place we can give this place a try.

tiggytape · 25/03/2015 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 17:04

MiffyandSnoopy we are in the same position! When we first found out where my daughter had been allocated we were disappointed as was it was not expected. But now we have had time to really let it sink it and really research the school we don't feel too bad about it anymore. Of course we have higher preferences and will see how we get on with waiting lists.. But our worst case scenario is not actually bad.. If you get what I mean? Hope you get the best outcome for you :-)

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miffyandsnoopy · 25/03/2015 16:58

Hope its ok to join in, I too am waiting. We are in Herts, and are not allowed to know our 'position' on the waiting list until tomorrow, when we will either get an email offering us a space at one of our higher preferences or we will be able to log in and view our position number. Then nothing will change until the end of April when they do another reshuffle.
When allocation day came, we were very disappointed even though we were not surprised. However, we have since visited the school we have been offered, and have had a meeting with the head. I do feel less 'stressy' now, and am happy that if a space doesn't come up on continued interest that we will give our offered school a chance. But, are still keeping our fingers crossed!

Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 16:55

I too believe that there are indeed people who will chase in the hopes it will improve their chances. I just did not see how you saying that bore any relation to me and what I was saying...as it obviously does not apply to me. Not taken as criticism.

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Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 16:53

RedSkyByNight I think perspective is needed here. I am not requiring anything to be "fixed". There is nothing to fix. My daughter is not comparable to someone's pc that has crashed. I want to know if my daughter has moved up or down the waiting list. This should not result in a response such as the one I got. I am not asking 4 mins past the hour on the hour everyday... I asked after a week. It really is that simple. It's part of the job. There are parts of jobs we all don't like doing but it's a necessity... As are good manners. Simple as that.

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prh47bridge · 25/03/2015 14:55

I have not suggested at any point that I expect the waiting list to move any quicker if I "chase"

I accept that but there are parents who believe that chasing will result in an earlier offer of a place. I wasn't criticising you at all.

redskybynight · 25/03/2015 14:34

Tiasmummy if the admissions person spends 2 hours a day answering phone calls and emails from neurotic (your word) parents, that's 2 hours a day less that they can spend actually doing their job - including working out if there are any more places to offer!!

I work in (among other things) IT support, I have several times had to (I hope politely) tell people that it is really counter productive ringing me up to ask if the system is fixed yet - because actually that means I end up spending all my time telling them it isn't, leaving me no time to actually fix it!

Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 14:00

Tiggytape my thoughts exactly. I don't think it was unreasonable or shocking that I emailed after a week. The thing is even if it was? Even if I was calling / emailing on a regular basis there is need to answer like that. To quote how many days since I last emailed is un called for.

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Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 13:57

anothermakesthree Thank you! Somebody who is experienced in the job and can empathise! This was exactly my point! Doing the job they do admissions officers should in my opinion be understanding and mindful of their responses. I am not saying they should be like the samaritan helpline but just to have a bit of empathy! I know they are answering hundreds of queries but there is never any need to make cutting comments. That's my opinion and I am sticking to it :-)

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tiggytape · 25/03/2015 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anothermakesthree · 25/03/2015 13:48

Have to say I agree with OP. I'm an admissions officer for a very busy comp (much needed day off today before you wonder..). A large part of my job is having empathy for those parents in a v stressful situation. I would never send an email like that. I have several parents that phone every other day at the moment..they actually feel quite desperate with regards their child's school allocation. It takes a minute to say sadly there has been no movement. Probably took longer to write that snippy email.

Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 13:47

prh47bridge I have not suggested at any point that I expect the waiting list to move any quicker if I "chase". I simply wanted to know if my daughters position had changed.

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prh47bridge · 25/03/2015 13:45

The email clearly could have been worded better. However, some schools have waiting lists with 100+ people on them. And if the LA is managing waiting lists they have to deal with 50+ waiting lists. If all parents chase every few days the admissions team never get to do any real work, plus they continually have to deal with angry parents who don't understand that you can go down the waiting list as well as up. I can therefore understand why they might get fed up with it.

Chasing will make absolutely no difference. If a place comes up and your child is at the head of the waiting list at the time you will be offered the place. The waiting list won't move any quicker just because you chase.

Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 13:43

CheekyBanana wait! Just so I have this correct...your son got a place at the school you wanted!? What a result!!!! That's excellent news! What a coincidence to get the call after being on this thread! lol! Now you can exhale at last! Congratulations! :-)

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Original poster
Tiasmummy · 25/03/2015 13:39

VegasIsBest - its really very simple. As an admissions officer she should fully expect calls/ emails regarding waiting list positions. Its par for the course. So to come back with an email telling me when I last emailed to me is not necessary at all. It only shows her annoyance which in my opinion is not warranted.

Why cant I rely on the admissions officer calling me if a place becomes available? Why does anybody find out where their child's place is on a waiting list? Why do all parents not just sit around waiting for the call? Because I want to know where she is so I can have some idea how likely an offer would be?

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CheekyBanana · 25/03/2015 13:31

I have news!!! Having finally resigned to accept that things may not move for some time, I called the allocated school to arrange a visit. It seems my ds status showing as 'discarded' and no longer on their list. Secretary asked if ds on waiting list elsewhere and that I'll receive confirmation this week. Yay!!!

Still rooting for you TM.