Private Schools vs state. Any help much appreicated

She should choose whether or not she likes the school. Education: Some state schools are higher and better in education and private schools, I heard, focus more on sports, drama etc. than education more. Depends on what your child likes

There are lots of independent schools that are not very selective and get fairly good results and value added. My DDs prep school did not select at all but children were very successful at getting academic scholarships to top senior schools. The bottom sets were not taught the curriculum for the year above - many had additional intervention. All schools differ - and that is the point here - and it's not how they are funded that counts.

I would try and find out the value added at both schools and see which one your DD would be happiest at. Does she like the look of the sports provision at the independent school? Or it's music provision? If it does not have a 6th form, then I would be more concerned because she will have to move again and opportunities will not be as good as a school with a buoyant 6th form. Schools should reach out to brighter children with less well off parents, but you do have to make sure what school offers will meet your DDs needs - whatever the school. She has done well to have received an offer in my view. You should be pleased she did so well.

Tough. If the school is generally selective then the lessons should reflect that. My DC go to a selective independent and are streamed for Maths too..but even the bottom set work on maths a year ahead (so year 6 maths in year 5). No other subjects are streamed and that applies to all through the secondary part of the school too except for MFLs which are streamed from Year 7.
We are in an area with middle schools where the whole system is in chaos. My eldest finished Lower and moved in Year5 with his brother (then Year 4) and their sister joined them this year in year 3.
Why did we do it? The state system route included an outstanding middle and good upper but they are both in the middle of a reorganisation and friends had had less than good experiences. Both schools are huge and a bus ride away. We did not get a nice feel when we visited the state middle (more than once).
I had no doubt my DC would do as well academically at the state schools. But I was more interested in their journey to those results. And so far I have been massively impressed with what the independent offers by way of sport, music, drama, enrichment etc.
that is not to say it's perfect but I think they are having a better experience. In fact they are having an absolute ball.
The cost tho is massive!

knowing the middle school system I actually would worry what happens in year 7&8 Sats are the be all and end all for a lot of these schools....(anecdotally)

In a similar position here. Ds has passed a scolarship exam for a prep school having missed out on superselective grammar by 4 points (out of 420 :() He is also L6 for maths.While this is a huge boost to his confidence,if the state option comes back to us, we will definitely take it. He also complains the work and the exam at the private school were easy and boring. Unfortunately unlike you we don't really have a good state alternative, but if we did we would definately take it.

I feel you also need to accept that very able, hard working pupils will get the same results at GCSE/ A Level wherever they attend. It is the added value you need to be looking at. Does this school offer something the state option doesn't?

Hi OP, in a similar position here to you. Our DD (youngest of 2 by 13 months) won a good scholarship to a well regarded private school, we were also offered more financial help - overall an attractive offer. She also has a place for Sept Y7 at an outstanding state school that our son started at last Sept.

As others up thread have said, look objectively at each school that you have a choice of a place at. Private schools are good at polish and confidence and those nice buildings, grounds and (mainly) lovely teachers (and smaller class sizes) are impressive. However, your daughter may very well get as good an education at a state school and you could save the money spent for further education instead.

This is the decision we have reached. I don't feel that it is a right or wrong choice, just the path that we feel is right for our family as it will not compromise our financial security - an important point to factor into the decision. It is also fair to both children - something important to ours.

If for some reason you felt that at the state school she could achieve more, strategic tutoring can fill in gaps and is still a lot cheaper than the private.

In many cases, private schools tend to have a mixture of able and not so able children - hence the offer to our bright DC's to keep up their results (amongst other reasons). In answer to your opening question, I agree with a PP re taster days they are there to tempt them, not scare them off - our DD didn't go as I didn't want to dangle the carrot, IYSWIM.

Good luck, let us know what you decide to do.

OP - to be honest, it sounds as though you could do without the stress of having to make a decision, but also don't want to think subsequently that you turned down an offer that would have been fantastic and would have made your dd very happy. It's kind of annoying when something is put in front of you that you would otherwise happily never have considered, isn't it! Being entirely honest, if I were going through a horrible divorce and having to reapply for my job (a bit concerning if you are committing to a fee paying school, possibly?...), and had another dd to think about, I wouldn't want to accept an offer of a school place that required me to pay 50% fees unless the state alternatives were poor, or my DD were so utterly obsessed with the school that I couldn't cope with the guilt of ignoring her wishes and turning it down. Perhaps her doubts are heaven sent... But you should indeed be extremely proud of her.

ps, taster days are designed to be fun and an advert for the school, they don't really give you an indication of what it will be like going to the school full time, so I'm not surprised your dd loved the taster day. That doesn't mean she will definitely love going to the school in reality, as she has clearly realised herself. If nothing else, and if you have the time, I think this merits you asking to have a better look around the school yourself - she needs to see more what the senior school that she will be going to is like, rather than having a day in a year 6 classroom, and you need to get to know more about what is really being offered, yourself.

Hello OP

I do think people are trying to help, it is a huge commitment.
We have similar and even with an almost 100% funded place and a school that fits like a glove, we are still being very cautious before committing to the next 7/8 years.
I too would look at if the bursary is offered for the whole of her school life or is dependant on her grades.
If the school was to go bust, do you think she would settle back into state schools as well.
How many times have you visited, I would advise at least 3 visits at different times.
Do you know what extra curricular activities are involved and how much would all the extras cost you.
Do they all go on expensive holidays etc.
I know this has come as a surprise to you and understand if you had thought for one moment they would be in touch you would have been more proactive.
Maybe post another thread asking for the answers to your questions.
That worked well for me and I had lots of lovely responses.
Good luck, whatever you decide

I'm sorry you feel like that, OP- I certainly didn't mean it that way. But you did ask for opinions. And my opinion is that you need to dig a little deeper before you make any decisions. Even with a 50% bursary, you're talking about a big financial commitment- any you need to be sure you're doing the right thing. You need to be very sure that this school is better than the other options your dd has, particularly as she seems unsure herself.

What a tricky situation. It does sound a bit like they are trying to keep standards up by making attractive offers to very able children in the state sector. Our local private senior school is known for doing them same. But that doesn't mean they are taking anyone for a ride. If it's the right place for your DD then its the right place, regardless of their motives.

I'd say you need to look ahead and compare it with the school your DD would go to if she stayed in the state sector. Can you go and have a chat with the private school? Tell them your DD found the work very easy and ask them to comment? And do your research about the statistics at both private and state options to try and get an idea where she would be heading at both options.

FWIW we had a similar offer but decided to stay in the state sector because we didn't think the private school was offering enough clear advantage to outweigh the possible disruption if DD found the transition hard. But she'd already started in year 7 by then (it was a school that takes kids in year 9) so she'd have had to do two transitions, not just one. And we had the advantage of knowing that she was happy and doing well in the state secondary.

Moira
Your daughter is clearly bright and has done well to get this offer. You can be justifiably proud of her. All we are saying is you need to be a bit hard headed and look closely at this offer and decide if its the best thing for your DD. You are the customer here - look at it this way - you are doing the private school a favour by sending your DD there as much as they are doing you a favour making her an offer.

Ah - My post crossed yours OP!

I have been responding to the information you included in your previous posts about an unnamed school - and from those posts I had no sense of how you felt about the situation yourself.

Hmm... OP Thus far you have given no indication of what it is that you want for your DD.

But perhaps I'm missing something?

This is reminding me of some comments on the SPGS thread! Where people have said that SPGS gives scholarships to state pupils who they have invited for "enrichment mornings." SPGS is definitely a good school...

i wouldn't take it
it looks like the private school is shopping around for high calibre candidates. why?
if you decide to take it ask them for a 100% bursary. def don't settle for 50% if they approached you.

To put it really brutally (sorry)- a really good school doesn't have to approach pupils-they usually have waiting lists....................

Firstly you need to learn the key lesson of Private schools 101: not all private schools are better than all state schools
This is really important.

To be honest I wouldn't send my dc to any school which approached me the way this one did you - unless my child was gifted and talented in the way Tom Dayly is.

At a good school they don't offer scholarships on a one off visit. My DD visited a local school in year 5, she was chosen as she was well behaved, averagely smart and she would enjoy the opportunities of the day. It didn't in anyway mean she was the brightest in her year.

OP There's far too much in your post about what other people - the school, your DD, friends think about this possible move. Honestly, honestly this really needs to be driven by you. You're not a passive bystander.

Do you think your DD needs to change schools to make the sort of progress you want and expect? If no - then you can ignore everything else. If yes - then you go out and find the school you think will do that - state or private. Do your own research. Set your own criteria. It's a little concerning that you seem to be "letting" it all happen ...

You haven't said much about the private school- what's it like? Good results? Where do people go when they leave? Good extra curricular stuff? Why are they actively seeking pupils like this-do they have falling rolls? Do you know any parents of girls who go there?

Yes, the issue isn't private vs. state but each individual school vs. the other. And Hak is right, you need to look at the relevant stats for the state school. The scores of the least able are interesting but not at all predictive of your DDs likely future.

You might have a fab state option and a so-so private option. It does happen. If so, hurray! You can save yourself a lot of money.