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Original poster

Do you think private schools give your children a advantage in life ?

403 replies

mistybear · 15/02/2015 09:05

I am thinking of going back to work full time so I can send my dd to a private secondary school. My husband and I keep going around in circles of whether or not there is any advantage to a private education. We are not rich hence having to work full time to afford it and this is one of the questions, will having parents that are not that well off be a massive problem being at private school, we are not in London and the area we live in is not massively affluent. One of the reasons I keep thinking about it is that the people I have as friends and some of my family that have been privately educated are doing well and more importantly doing a job they wanted to do. My dd is hardworking and has already achieved her leaving school targets even though she is in year five, the state secondary schools around us are not the best but a couple are not too bad educational wise but all of them do not have clubs and sports that the private school has. She loves her violin, science and space also her ponies and she loves her warhammer !! she is also a only child x

OP posts:
happygardening · 15/02/2015 09:47

My DH went to a famous school he would tell you that in terms of networking it's not made a scrap of difference. It's family/friends connections that are likely to have the biggest impact.
But he would also tell you that the sort of. person he is has also been significantly influenced by his school. Even now (he's middle aged) he can recognise someone from his school of what ever age because of there mannerisms general demeanour etc. The last time I saw a bunch of them together quite a few commented on how alike they were. Note I'm not saying these character traits are necessarily all positive Grin.
My DH is exceedingly cultured and knowledgable this was also very much part of his education although not all we've known over the years from his school are this cultured and knowledgable but they are certainly much more cultured and knowledgable than many friends of similar ages who haven't had the luck to be educated at his school and others of it's ilk. DS2 is privately educated DS1 is at a state school he's significantly more cultured and knowledgable that DS1 because his education places a lot of emphasis on cultural education. I like this but obviously not every is bothered, DS2 also loves this side of school like he's got friends at the same school who aren't so interested and are less knowledgable. A lot comes down to the individual.
We do not have a massive income (relatively speaking in comparison to many of DS2's peers) it's never made any difference.
Finally there are private schools and private schools, paying doesn't necessarily make it better. Many parents pay for better results than they believe their DC would have got in the state sector, private schools can be very exam orientated whatever their websites say.

TeenAndTween · 15/02/2015 09:44

I think by definition, almost anyone who educates private must feel that it gives their kids an 'advantage' over their own local state options, otherwise they wouldn't do it.

The only reason for educating privately without advantage that I can see would be childcare. Even going for specialist learning support such as dyslexia implies that support cannot be obtained through the state system.

My DDs go to state, though we could afford private. I think the (good) state schools round us will support them best, and they will continue to mix with a wide range of people. Plus money saved can go on 'extras' such as more adventurous holidays, all school trips, deposit for house later in life.

AuntieStella · 15/02/2015 09:18

It depends what you mean by 'advantage'

If the school is both good and exactly right for your DD, then the education she receives will stand her in good stead for whatever life throws at her. That's an advantage.

If you mean something narrower, like grades achieved, the difference will probably be slight. But the journey to get them could be quite different: what actually matters to you/her in a school?

If you mean networking, then possibly. That's harder to predict as it does depend on who is in her year group and whether those children end up wanting a similar path in life. But the peer group you meet at university may well be as, or more, influential.