SW/W London Independent Schools thread part two

Presumably if a school gives a child an offer, that school wants that child? So why would they hand out a "thanks but no thanks" card?

I actually had quite a hard time declining one offer (the first) that DD was made. It ended in rather a frosty exchange of emails!

One thing the schools could do is send a card to fill in to turn down offers. I have written to turn down the one I didn't want but I don't believe I had to. After the March deadline it would have lapsed. Why don't they include a letter for you to tick and sign to decline an offer? Would make it quicker and easier.

private schools genuinely make me froth at the mouth with rage. If all the money that was poured into them went into the state school system, then every single child in this country would have an equal education regardless of their wealth or background.

I would not send my DC to a private school even if I was a billionaire. I went to a crappy East London state, as did all of my siblings, and we all did very well academically. My best friend went to city of london school for girls and was so badly bullied and pressured there that she ended up with a stomach ulcer and ended up dropping out and repeating her A levels at a state comp. Now she is a doctor, with full credit to the state comp and none whatsoever to City of London.

People forget as well that school is about way more than just doing well academically. I was a painfully shy and passive child and going to a fairly rough state school really taught me a lot about learning to be assertive and stand up for myself. That was very important for me.

I agree Bonsoir.

There needs to be a UCAS system with max 5 choices or something similar.

The schools ought to do a better job of coordinating admissions IMO - the number of DC sitting for each school seems to be getting completely insane.

I didn't mean to suggest it was anyone's 'fault' as such - just that it's undesirable from everyone's POV, and schools do what they can to make it as uncommon as possible.

The reason why I posted was simply to point out that it's not just the deposit you might stand to lose (maybe I misunderstood waitingandhoping's post, but I thought she was suggesting it was only £1k deposit you were likely to lose by doing this, when depending on the cost if the school and the nature of the contract, it could be £7k+ which might be a much more significant strain).

The place hedging issue is not parents' fault. We are also in the business of faffing around with places (in Paris) and do our utmost not to hold onto places we probably won't want, but the order in which we hear from schools is not our order of preference. At the end of the day I want a particular school for DD but if I don't get that one, I want our second choice, not our fifth choice, and if that involves holding on to a place for a while and even paying a deposit we may lose - so be it.

Check the T&Cs!

It's £1k (ish) for deposit now. But after April, you'll also be paying fees in lieu of notice, even if your DC never starts at the school. It should all be laid out clearly; and expect it to be enforced (everyone wants to reduce place hedging, and making it expensive is one way of so doing).

Losing a £1000 deposit is peanuts compared with seven years at approx. 18k a year isn't it? So I would think most people would happily lose their deposit should their first choice school become available to them sometime between now and September.

I teach in one of these schools and apparently Heads of Prep schools and individual parents phone begging to speak to the Head. I am told she speaks to them but it does not make much difference to the waiting list. Remember
all schools want the most able pupils they can get so will follow their own list when offering further places.

Not easy whereas. I guess you work up to the wire. In the mean time, find out more/go visit the offer school who clearly want your DC. This may lead you all to loving it more when deadline comes, or conversely you know no change on feelings and you are then more up for taking the risk. For now, I'd big up the offer school, find some DC friends (if possible) who have accepted it too as there is so little between these great schools...a deposit is tough to lose.

Omg, where's my Goethe quote?! I'm almost pleased to have no offers or wait list place reading this. Courage to you all.

Twickersm0m, I would call the Registrar yourself (not now as she is on holiday ). She is very approachable. I think you will find considerable movement after the state school deadline (March 2nd?) and then after the private school acceptance date. Don't expect much now as most people are on half term. I know that my "friends" have all gone abroad with their clutch of offers. They don't think like the nice people on this thread and it won't cross their minds to release places until after the reply deadline.

The problem is do you abandon second choice and wait for first when you can't afford to accept one and then reject it later? Or do you abandon first choice as second is better than nothing? Arghhhh

At Latymer it was definitely the Registrar.

Sorry! Does the Head of our school phone the registrar or the head of independant school? Just so I am well informed when I go and see our head and have all the contact names and numbers with me to give. Thank you all. xx

I too have handed back all rejected places but admissions say this is rare so early...the half term does not help as many parents will hold, and most until the state offers are issued if both sectors applied for. The lists will then move quickly, but this is no consolation I know given the long wait already endured.

A friend recently told me with 3 boys, ages between 18 to 12 that by far, the 10/11+ process of the hardest of all (UCAS, GCSEs etc) because this process is so gruelling for our DCs, given their age. Best wishes to you all, and don't be scared to be persistent persuasive with your communications to schools if that's what your DC really want...you have nothing to lose!

Do the heads phone the registrar? Or Head of Independant school?

Thank you so much Alana1975 - I so hope it helps us. I really need this to happen for my DC1, this whole process has been somewhat a confidence bashing for us. I have to go through the whole process again next year and at present with the result we have, I have lost all motivation to work with DC2, Which is so unfair I know! Will pull myself out of this dark hole, I Promise. Just not today ?

I have just sent no thanks letters to JAGS, WHS and Ibstock - really hope those places go to someone on here!

At the state primary school where I work, our Head definitely phoned up the registrar last year to plead the case of 2 boys on the Latymer waiting list, and has done the same this year to G+L for a girl who was very unwell on the day of the test.

It's worth asking!

Twickersm0m, we have released KGS offer last Friday, I hope it will help your DC. It was a hard decision, because we loved the school.

Thank you for the support, words cannot express how much it really helps. DC also want to wait and see what happens and both my DH and I feel that we owe DC that much. The amount of hard work all our DC have put into sitting the tests and passing them is commendable! I will email them next week to say we really want DC to attend KGS; I might be brave and approach our school head too, see if there is anything she can do to help our application. Think I know the answer but it is worth a try...