Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

bright year 9 struggling in school

60 replies

Mmmbacon · 18/01/2015 18:03

Dd is quite bright and well capable of a and b's but her Christmas test results are disgracefully all c and ds

She is already doing after school homework and study club but hasn't had the desired effect,

Her maths for exp went from 90's last year to 55 this year, she has no reason not to be getting A's in maths as I do maths grinds as a side line,

Any advice on how to get her to buckle down, really struggling with her as although behaviour is ok when she is not with us she is different child, caught shoplifting once etc,

She had traumatic exp few years back, diagnosed with ptsd, but psychologist recently very happy with her,

She wants to become a teacher so needs to really buckle down now to have a chance

OP posts:
merlehaggard · 19/01/2015 08:14

Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know what "maths grinds" are!

piggychops · 19/01/2015 08:07

That timetable sounds totally overwhelming to me. Sounds like she needs a rest!
What exactly are "the maths grinds"?
At her age she should be largely self motivated. Could you be over-organizing her, and she has simply had enough?
Why not give her the choice of what she wants to do after school. There may be something she wants to give up which would ease the pressure.

TheFirstOfHerName · 19/01/2015 07:44

If she had a few days off with the viral infections, she may have missed key concepts. It's difficult to do well in Maths if you have missed some of the foundation blocks, as you must know from your work.

Afterschool she has homework club to 6, then activities 3 evenings a week
This strikes me as quite a lot. On three days a week she presumably has a 12-13 hour day, albeit with breaks for lunch and dinner. Are these activities things she loves and looks forward to, or things you are encouraging her to do?

Original poster
Mmmbacon · 18/01/2015 22:30

Cricketballs I thought about rebellion but don't think this is it, it just doesn't have rebellion stamped on it, lazy yes, struggling to concentrate, couldn't be bothered, but not rebellious as such

OP posts:
poisonedbypen · 18/01/2015 22:25

It sounds to me as though you may be putting her under a lot of pressure & she either can't take it or is rebelling. Not many teenagers would want tuition from their mother.

Original poster
Mmmbacon · 18/01/2015 22:19

Argh had long post and it disappeared,

Ptsd is supposed to be under control, psychologist happy, but that appt was before shoplifting incident and Christmas tests,

Health wise she had a number of viral infections resulting in stupid letter from school 're days Off and Gp has done bloods etc and all ok, reckons her immune system is just weaker/not mature due to never attending nursery / small primary school and now in large school

Afterschool she has homework club to 6, then activities 3 evenings a week and swimming on a Saturday,

We can't understand her results, is she struggling, lazy, or doesn't know how to study, BUT if she were struggling at maths surely she should have asked me for help when one in one tuition in maths is one of the things I do, however I went over her test and it was obvious she just wasn't bothered/ concentrating/ staring at some boy 2 rows over,

I'm at a loss, is she trying to dumb down for "friends" lazy, struggling or all of the above

We don't know to walk on eggshells due to mh or to come down like a ton. Of bricks? Mind grounding due to shoplifting didn't increase her grades much, and neither does promise of treats in form of permission to go to teen disco for good results

OP posts:
cricketballs · 18/01/2015 22:11

My first thought on reading the first sentence of your post "disgracefully" was that she is rebelling against the pressures you are putting on her, this given the information you offered given regarding her general behaviour

TheFirstOfHerName · 18/01/2015 21:18

Firstly, I would look at her timetable. Is she exhausted from doing too much outside school? It might be time to review priorities regarding extra-curricular activities.

Secondly I would look at her physical health. Is she eating properly? Is she getting enough sleep? Is she anaemic.

Lastly, I would look at her emotional wellbeing. Is she being bullied? Is she depressed?

TheFirstOfHerName · 18/01/2015 21:13

DS1 had a terrible Y9. He went from being a model student (all GCSE targets A and A*, zero detentions) to being cynical and disengaged from education.

After a series of family tragedies, he had mental health problems for about 18 months (was diagnosed with PTSD but could have just as easily been diagnosed with depression, anxiety or OCD as he met criteria for all).

Looking back, I think he got into a cycle of anxiety causing difficulties with concentration, which caused him to fall behind in some of his subjects, which caused more anxiety (he had a fear of the teacher asking him a question and not knowing the answer). He had many many panic attacks at school and missed lessons due to these and frequent CAMHS appointments, which caused him to fall further behind, which caused more anxiety. All of his GCSE courses started during this time, which didn't help.

Thankfully, he has now been well for 11 weeks, and with my help and the school's support, is going about the tough slog of trying to catch up on the work he missed at the same time as keeping up with the work currently being covered. He is doing extra work at weekends, and still gets exhausted just from doing a full week at school.

We'll be lucky if he gets a B in his weaker subjects, but that seems trivial compared to the importance of his mental health.

I wish I had sought help for him earlier.

caringdad66 · 18/01/2015 20:31

Sorry,but I don't understand parts of your post.

Swipe left for the next trending thread