Why do schools insist on pupils attending parents evening

I don't feel my DC need to hear what teachers tell me, nor what my response to the teacher is. They get feedback at school and via their report. And I find it easier to speak honestly about any problems if the DC are not there.

Not everyone has academically talented children who get glowing reports. One teacher who really got it this year said she knew she had to proceed carefully so as not to damage the confidence of DC. Also an exam accommodation which may be asked for has not been mentioned to my DC as she wants DC to work further to see if it is really necessary.

That has probably come across as gobbledygook! But I'm pleased I could have a confidential conversation that was reassuring.

Actively encouraged at our primary school. I find it really annoying as the teacher always addresses the child first with a How do you think things are going? type question and my DCs are such chatterboxes that I then hardly get a word in for the allotted 15 minutes.
DS secondary school do not allow the children to attend until Y4 I think. Had his Y2 one last night, and think it very beneficial that he wasn't there. We were able to be told that he is doing extremely well, and given pointers as to where we could help him further. If DS had been there, and the teachers had been so complimentary, we would find it impossible to actually get him to try at all this year. If he had been there and the teachers had altered their input accordingly, we might have got a very different picture of how DS was performing.
He gets regular and helpful feedback from his teachers, and overall reviews with his form tutor. I don't think he needs to attend parents evening as well.

It's important. Praise or a bollocking suggestions to improve to the child directly. It's their education. They need to take control between 11-16 and be ready to be 100% in charge by 6 th form age. They won't be babied at college.

If you really have questions to raise that you don't want the child to hear ( no idea what ) then send them out to wait in the next queue .

Mostly parents evenings for mine gave been glowing. On the one occasion in a couple of subjects dS didn't appreciate the " gear change" needed between levels he was suitably embarrassed and hit the targets from then on.

Actually much as we joke the kids need to hear the glowing reports too. Thry really don't have the confidence they should have in their own ability.

I remember (at the age of about 12/13) going to parents eve with my separated parents. All was fine until it came to the German teacher. A useless teacher who had no hold over the class at all nd who instructed me to stay outside. My mum insisted I be included as I slowly turned beet red she then spent the entire meeting contradicting him, disagreeing with him and telling him in no uncertain terms what everyone else wanted to say what his shortcomings were! My poor dad (always more balanced) spent the entire meeting trying to get a word in edgeways and I just sat there wishing the ground would swallow me up!

Recently had Dd1s first secondary parents eve and the letter stated students were strongly encouraged to attend. I think it's good personally. She was able to hear what her teachers thought, able to explain her points of view and encouraged to take responsibility for her own learning. If I had a concern I didn't want to discuss in front of her I would contact the school seperately.

We have found it works very well, a frank, constructively critical conversation etc. there are ways of addressing difficulty without undermining a teacher or child, surely?
At secondary they need to have ownership over their learning and behaviour. If it needs saying, they should be there.

If there is something sensitive that you really don't want to discuss at parents evening (with other parents in the queue nearby, child present etc) then book a meeting with the Head of Year or teacher concerned: schools offer that all year. I wouldn't wait for parents eve for anything that needed that level of sensitivity or importance.

Doing parents evening would be like an Apppraisal at work between manager and HR without the employee present!

Our primary school never had children there until about 2010 when CfE was rolled out and we got a letter explaining that children were welcome and it was expected they would come. If the teacher or parent had a concern the child was asked to return to the waiting area. Worked well with both my kids but took a lot of getting used to.

Always taken them in high school as I don't have a clue who many of the teachers are. Dd will be choosing her nationals soon so it's important for her to be there.

Good to see you supporting the school and your child's education, gamer.

It's not parents evening here, it's target setting day and it's every 6 month.

The kids get the day off school for it aside from taking them in in full school uniform and take them away again.

I don't see the point of them me.. just a way of having a bitch at your kid with you being there to watch.

I never went to parents evening as a child, so was surprised when we took children in secondary school. Having done it a few years now, I think it's a good idea. You then have a three-way discussion with pupil, parent and teacher, about how the pupil is doing, and how you can all work together. it seems to work well.

groovee- I have never heard that. Our primary and secondary schools have always welcomed children along with their parents. while the majority of children do attend, many don't. My DD usually comes but is sometimes busy. My DS hasn't wanted to some since he was around 8 years old.

I think there are benefits to both scenarios.

At ours it is left to parents to decide if it is right to bring the child, sometimes I have and sometimes I haven't, as the have got older then they've come along more often. I think it is right to give the choice to parents as insisting either way could cause problems for some families.

At DC's old secondary, children had to be there but parents did not. The teachers don't really speak to the parents, more to the children.

I took them once they were GCSE level, it was their future and it seemed pretty silly to hear it and then go home and tell them- best to get it direct.
I didn't want to do it before that level. As a primary school teacher I wouldn't want them there- it inhibits what you can say.

It's part of CfE in Scotland that children be involved.

I find the high school teachers ask the pupils if they feel there are any issues and gain feedback.

I'd contact the school in between if I had concerns or queries.

Why not discuss it with the school?
Having said that I seem to have spent the last 3 months dealing with complaints about parent consultation, and the only conclusion I can draw is you can't please all of the people all of the time!

Only happened in the 6th form at my DDs' schools. I preferred that. You can have a more nuanced conversation if the child is not there. There is no hiding place anyway.

The parents evening is an opportunity for the parents to find outhit their child is coping/succeeding/struggling language used by adults including the nuisances is difficult to convey in 10 mins to a child, how can they understand this. Surely if children attend it ceases to be a parents evening, the teachers have all day to talk to the child

What's the point in talking about the kid behind their back, then the parent going home and reporting what they can remember? If I'm going to say the kid is fab, I'd like to have them there to enjoy it. If I'm going to say they're a lazy arse and need to pull their finger out, I want the parent to turn to them and say 'well why do you piss about? And why do you never have a pen when I bought you a pencil case full? Please let me know if he doesn't buck up and I'll confiscate his x box" Then the kid knows that you and the parent are on the same team.

If you wanted to talk in confidence, you could have sent your kid away!

Primary school ones are child free here, secondary school the child is encouraged to attend.
It worked gor us at DS1s recent parents evening as every teacher said "he's bright, but could so much better if he tried". This is exactly the same thing we have been telling him for the last year, so it was good for him, and us, to hear the same thing from his teachers as well. Don't know if it's made any difference or not though.

Surely a parents evening is for parents

We wear name stickers, and the children are explicitly not invited (up to sixth form at least. DD was expected to come to sixth form parents meetings. Not sure if DS will be, but he's certainly not invited in year 11).

My father was a teacher and used to tell the kids to go away if they showed up.

Ours insist on the children not being there.

Suits me for the same reason you don't want yours there.

At our school it's optional - I do take my DDs, because the teachers at this stage want to talk about her plans for the future and how her current GCSE topics fit into that. Parents evening was today and it was great - because DD was there, I could see the relationship she has with her teachers and I could see the way they really know her. Done right, having the children there can be very valuable.

Neither of my daughters' secondary schools insist on children being there - I have taken them both in order that I don't have to introduce myself and also so they can identify their teachers (in a large sports' hall it's hard to read the names on desks). We do have appointment times but it often turns into a free for all!