Headmistress attacks parents in national press

Mrs Farr said that many parents showed a “frenetic anxiety” and refused to accept their child coming second. She warned that children were growing up unable to cope with failure as a result, the Times reported.
“Their children will succeed above all and they’re not at all on board with the idea of school as a community, learning to come second or that learning to give ground is an important part of education,” she told a workshop at the Girls’ Schools Association conference this week.

I do think you've misrepresented the tenor of the piece. The "affluent neglect" comment was a tiny part of the article.

Sadly, her main comments are an accurate commentary on many parents' approach to their children's education, in the independent and state sectors.

It's probably a bit of a case of National Press Attacks Parents and Undermines Headteacher by Selective Misquoting. I seriously doubt she intended to attack every single parent at her school.

Mind you, the school is in London, hugely expensive and has a reputation for being academic - how can it not but attract a higher than average proportion of perfectionist, high-achieving, competitive, stressed and time-poor parents who don't have the time to squeeze unscheduled, relaxed chats on subjects other than self-improvement, with their children into the day? Also, if the parents have never allowed themselves to fail, academically, I'm sure some will have built up a mythology around that, so that they really cannot conceive of it being possible to lead a full life if you've slipped up at school.

OP you may be the like the conscientious child in a class who takes everything to heart when a teacher is giving out to the class in general but is actually aiming it at those children whose behaviour is not up to scratch in certain situations.

Regardless of context, it is clear that the head has enthusiastically endorsed the 'snowplough' metaphor and said that some parents try to arrange things so that their children never come second and can't deal with failure as a result. However, it's not in a parent's gift to ensure their child always comes first. Children are assessed all the time in these schools and there can only be one top spot for every task. Parents can't 'fix' sports fixtures. It seems absurd to blame parents for a lack of resilience in an academic environment.

Personally I do worry that my children lack resilience, not to academic failure but to life's hard knocks. But what I am supposed to do? Reverse engineer an unhappy childhood for them? Lots of children, regardless of the type of school they go to, have difficulties to overcome in their home lives (not least of which might be that they have parents with unrealistic expectations, and pressure from school to constantly perform at their best!). It seems to me there is enough awfulness in the world to not have to deliberately make things harder at home.

OP, YANBU.

High mistress, what utter pretentious bollocks.

Really can't see why you're so upset.

If the cap fits...

If not, you could always express your upset to the Head and/or vote with your feet.

Meh, I think she's advertising for more of that type of parent: "We're so great, because it's really tough to be here we churn out the toughest kids, only the most involved parents need apply."

Maybe she's trying to attract a different parent body to the one she has?

Though I expect that she has been quoted selectively. As you are a parent at the school, there will probably be a letter explaining the situation. these things happen.