Commute to StPaul school -impact on homework/tiredness

The very able child does not always get the best results if the teaching is poor. Neither do they get the best careers advice or even A level combination advice. A bog standard comp may not get you the very useful connections either.

OP. I would definitely go for the boarding in your case. If your DS is happy about this, you really cannot keep him at home, doing a long commute, because of your feelings. Think about what he wants, not what is best for you. Boarding means he will be totally immersed in school and will greatly benefit from that. Commuting is tiring, non productive and, in London, very frustrating. Boarding - maybe a 200m walk home!

It does sometimes get interesting when the trains aren't running or when he sleeps through his bus stop on the way to the train station and ends up in an unfamiliar part of Edinburgh. He's become very independent very quickly!

DS(12) commutes for just over an hour each way to school. He takes the school bus most mornings (except one when he has to be in very early for choir) and afternoons are a mix of school bus or walk to bus stop, bus, walk to train station, train then phone me for lift home.

He's not bothered by the commute at all and just listens to music the whole way. On school bus days he's home around 5 and on train days when he's stayed for after school activities he's usually home from 7-8PM.

He also swim with a local swim club and if anything, his schedule has forced this otherwise very lazy child(!) to get organised and plan out his homework properly!

That was not what I meant more a very able child will get the results wherever so you have to look at quality of life and an exhausting commute will not enhance that. As someone whose commute is car/train/ferry/bus the smallest mix up can lead to long delays. It seems unlikely this is the only school the OP's child would be happy at so it is an important issue. It is not an issue of indie v state but exhausting commute v shorter journey or boarding.

Cindylou if that comment was directed at me, you have completely missed the point. My DD did a long commute to get to Tiffin Girls, she was not the only one (but no one commuted in from Portsmouth if that is the school/myth you are referring to). Great school though it is, I don't think any school is worth that long commute, hence my comment that the local comp which is now excellent ( in retrospect) would be good enough.

I agree with CindyLou. A particular child would do better at St. Paul's than Dulwich. It's not an outrageous question.

At our nearest super-selective grammar, people travel from a south coast town (2 hour train journey) - complete madness, unless you know the alternative available education for those DC in the local schools.
Not all of us would do that, but for some it is the best option.
In the case of the OP, however, there is Dulwich college which would provide a similar experience.
As it happens, many SPS parents do choose to move from eg North London to Barnes to reduce the commute.
And it is not all about grades and destinations! If you have DC who are super-bright and hardworking, they are likely to happiest with other Dc who share the same work ethic, and they can flourish, not just notch up grades by ticking boxes. The learning experience is vital, not just the end result.
And people who always join in threads ignoring the OP, but just to tell proudly of how their DC got super grades at the local comp and -wow!- even got into medicine are completely missing the point - she was asking about commuting time, not independent versus state, however much those with an agenda are determined to shoehorn it in, however irrelevant.

DuckMama - your own last sentence in the OP summed it all up. Nobody in their right mind would commute a long distance, relying on more than one type of public transport, if they didn't have to.

One of my children commuted for over an hour each day (tube, tube, bus) to get to grammar school (we live in a non grammar area) and I would not recommend it. Not just tiredness but her social life and extra curricula activities were severely compromised. In retrospect she would have probably got the same grades at the local comprehensive.

You have excellent schools near you. If they are not an option move closer or let him board.

If I had a super-competitive, super-clever child who had easily been accepted into St. Paul's, I would move from the SE to the SW to accommodate.

If I had a child who had really jumped through hoops to get into St. Pauls and lived in the SE, I would definitely stay local - I think the commute could be the straw that broke the camel's back.

I travelled but age 11, just looked and it was 28 miles (went on a bus)
I did it for a year but I used to come home and cry because I was so damn tired. Don't remember much else except for cold freezing mornings and coming home in the dark

Your feelings are understandable but bear in mind that your son is going to change even by the time he starts school in 2015 and certainly hugely in the next couple of years after that. That process is going to happen whether he goes to a boarding school or a day school. That said, I don't think you do him or yourself any favours by sending him to a day school (even St Paul's) when it is a heck of a journey each way and every day and every sports match on Saturdays. If you really want him at home then at least go for one of the very good nearby schools and allow him to make better use of 10 hours a week and have a social life and school life that is actually fun. Otherwise, bite the bullet and let him go to a boarding school and then enjoy the relaxed times when he is at home. Long commutes are doable but really for when you don't have good alternatives.

You also need to think about tube, train or bus strikes. Plus if you are doing both train and tube there is double the chance of things going wrong.

Also play rehersals, Saturday matches, parents evenings, and friends who live on the other side of the school from you.

The journey will affect you as well. It depends how happy you are being a teenage taxi service.

Could you rent out your home and rent in Barnes for the 5 years? You would all have better quality of life.

Local is best. I speak from experience. The commute and distance from friends made my school life almost a complete misery. I got round it by spending lots of time staying at friends' homes and larking about on the tube

"Threads like these make me worry about Mumsnet."

Yes - really, fuck knows.

But 'fantastic' and 'outstanding' won't be enough for some.

It's got to be 'considerably more fantastic and outstanding than yaow'.

You know - elite.

A daily commute from Dulwich to Barnes is crazy. Dulwich College is a fantastic school, as is Alleyn's.

The CE/day school exam split sounds ridiculous and you shouldn't allow it to influence your choice in the way you describe.

What makes you think SPS is so great? Don't forget it's under investigation by the Charity Commission in relation to its "approach to safeguarding": www.gov.uk/government/news/charity-commission-announces-investigation-into-st-pauls-school.

It does seems a long commute but I understand why parents do it and it also seems to be more common in London. I'm not in London and sent to mine not to my catchement school but to a faith school which was the other side of town. Even that was sometimes a pain when they had to stay after school for matches or wanted to help at open evening or parent evenings

It's a specialist school agggghast. There are only 4 like it in the UK

But what does she gain over the local school? Exhaustion and an inability to focus on homework, doesn't make sense to me.

My daughter commutes to school each day about an hour each way. The difference being that she is driven by her dad there & back each day.

It is hard, she has to get up early each morning & doesn't get home until 7.30pm each night so homework is squeezed in on the car journey when possible or she normally has about 20 mins spare before registration.

She eats her tea at school with the boarders which makes life a little easier & gives her some social time.

Threads like these make me worry about Mumsnet. All three of my children managed to achieve excellent GCSE/A Level results at the local comp. They all got into top universities to read Medicine. Why would anyone put their child through such a commute? What exactly is the benefit? They will not gain from the social side if they spend 2/3 hours on public transport every day. Just seems mad to even consider this commute, if a child is bright enough they will get A/A* wherever.

I think you should either send him to board or move house. Commuting across London, on and off various trains/tubes/buses is no fun, especially for a child. And at busy times like Christmas shopping periods it will take him even longer. He'll have a hectic enough homework schedule as it is, plus sports fixtures and clubs etc. It's not really fair, is it? You might think you are 'giving him the best' but you'll be making his day to day life a misery in the process.

Some things are character building and other things are just mean and inconsiderate.

Duck mama, NO school is worth 1.5hrs commuting each and every day. Your boy is obviously bright and academically minded if he is offered places at such selective schools and will do best closer to home (if taking the day school option).

Commuting that long each and every day is stressful and annoying for anyone - I can't imagine choosing to do it unless there was really no other option!

And [grin]@minifingers! Well said!!

We used to live in your area for years and if we were still there we pile have very seriously considered it and my DS might have commuted to SPS. He would have taken the train to Victoria and then caught the train to Hammersmith and walked to SPS. In my day you could access the school of the tow path that entrance is now locked but I think there's a gate at the side so you don't have to walk down Lonsdale Road. You exit Hammersmith off the back end of the train walk past Hammersmith odeon and over the bridge. I was brought up in West London and had lots of friends at SPS many commuted that kind of journey one way even 35 years ago.
I know both SPS and DC well I don't agree with TRL SPS is not like DC in any shape or form.
My DS is at Win Coll we turned down SPS because we wanted full boarding, I take it your DS is happy to board, your DS is growing up fast in a few years he will have left home and gone to university if he's happy to full board then IMO you should let him go.

You can walk down from Hammersmith tube, can't you? Train and tube and a bit of a walk at either end doesn't seem that complicated.