Commute to StPaul school -impact on homework/tiredness

Crouchend I don't think you've bothered to read the thread have you?

Ooops realise St Pauls dont wear a uniform, but even so I think 10 hours a week commuting for a young boy is too much and a pretty miserable prospect.

Hello,

Have you tried to do the commute yourself? Maybe have a go and imagine yourself as a young boy in a uniform in the heat, packed without seats, possibly tired and hungry and wanting to speak to your mum about a worry. Do it there and back for a week perhaps and put yourself in your sons shoes.

I would not inflict this misery on anyone and I feel sad that you would even contemplate putting your son through this for at least 6 years. Adult life is hard enought being forced to commute, why put your son through this hell. Its bad enough being stuck under peoples armpits, being hit by rucksacks and perved at on public transport and put into vulnerable situations.

You say you are a hen mum, maybe you need to be a bit more hennish and plucky and keep your son under your wings a bit more, nurturing him and looking after him. Walking in the fresh air to a school with you/chums or alone without the scrum of commuters would be much more kinder to him.

OP has made a sensible decision. SPS can't be worth a long commute. Judging by the story in tonight's Evening Standard, it may even be a school to avoid if you live nearby: www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/st-pauls-teachers-were-massively-inappropriate-when-i-was-at-school-there-says-minister-ed-vaizey-9830688.html.

He was doing that journey over 18 years ago. It was well over 1 hour if I remember. Many of my kids friends travel for over one hour changing buses and trains. Such is London's commuting story. We have 3 superselectives here.

However Slough to Hammersmith by bus is just over 30 minutes along the M4. Get off by Hammersmith bridge and it is a very short walk over the river. OP was talking about a journey lasting over an hour with a mix of stop start London buses, tubes and trains.

It is the length and the difficulty of the journey that counts, not the distance.

I am late to add my comment - I used to work with a guy who commuted daily from Slough to St.Pauls. Admittedly one bus journey albeit a very long one!

He said he was fine with it. He used this time to unwind. He went then to study CS in Cambridge so definitely long commute didn't matter much in the end.

Hear hear to Rabbitstew

Rabbit - where is the MN emoticon for [huge and enormous round of applause]?

I know of no adults who have commuted all their adult life and found it anything other than an increasingly tiresome pain in the arse, to the point of finding it depressing and fantasising about escaping from the tedium of it all. Why you would want to start a child out on that treadmill early on, I don't know. It's a pain when it snows, a pain when it rains, a pain when it's hot and sticky, a pain when public transport is disrupted, a pain when there has been an accident, a pain when there is no seat, a pain when you have musical instruments and sports kit or other heavy equipment, a pain when you pass excellent schools on your way to get there, a pain when you have to get up early on a cold, dark morning, a pain when you are too tired in the evening to go out again or have time to relax before you go to sleep ready for the next day, an unbearable pain when you realise you are not a masochist... obviously, you could tell yourself daily that other people have FAR worse journeys, but then you would know you were really scraping the barrel if you had to think of people having an even more pointless, unpleasant journey than you in order to make yourself feel better.

I had a friend who had to do about a 3hr round trip commute to St Paul's as a boy, his memories are miserable. But as others have said if you do train to Victoria, tube to hammersmith you can enter St Paul's just at the bridge, so you don't have to do the bus bit.

You do seem to have made some odd choices, OP, when you live near so many good schools. Do other boys from your ds's prep make the same decision?At this stage, I'd say go for in priority a) boarding if this is what your ds wants b) a local school and c) moving

Rich and powerful?
My parents and grandparents were very poor.
We are not rich - we worked hard, and chose to spend the money we earned on giving our children the best possible education - so that they enjoy their school years.
Not encountered any aristos at the DC leading indie - but lots of people like us who value education, rather than just looking at the end result. Getting into a good 'uni' - or indeed any 'uni' is irrelevant to us - is the learning experience that matters.
The school is the best suited to them - they could have gone to a super-selective grammar free of charge, but it is a results factory, and we did not see that as a good way to spend a childhood.

"Have you not reaised what puplic schools are all about!!???"

It seems to me that they're about creating an elite who - it is hoped - will go on to hold disproportionate numbers of senior positions of influence in industry, politics, the media, law and medicine, helped by a massively privileged education.

And that this elite group of pupils is drawn overwhelmingly from families who are already rich and powerful.

Reading threads like this is an uncomfortable reminder that there are plenty of people out there who don't see this as a regrettable state of affairs.

Minifingers

Have you not reaised what puplic schools are all about!!???

I agree with Swimming about bags. DD had a "five bag day" which was awful when jostling through a main line station in rush hour.

At minimum you would need to discourage your son from playing a large instrument, taking Art GCSE, playing more than one sport and even then choosing his sport carefully. Rule out any suggestion of playing GK in hockey for example. He would also need to think about getting too involved in drama. Its not just the performances, but lots of rehearsals after school. Driving from Dulwich to Barnes to pick him up every night for a week would be awful.

A school coach, or a tube full of friends, is different, and provides some social and wind down time. On your own can be miserable especially if you are surrounded by a full carriage of commuters. No seat = no chance to do a bit of reading.

Trains and tubes have their issues. The worst problems come with buses, especially if the route is affected by significant road works lasting months.

You might ask SPS about what transport arrangements there are, and how many students they have from your post code. I remember one family years ago, who were looking at a shared taxi arrangement once they realised how miserable it was to rely on two forms of public transport plus the trudge across the river. They decided to move instead!

It also depends on where your younger son is likely to go.

FWIW I would go for Dulwich and if he is really at the top of the year and wanting to study in a more selective environment, think about a move to either Westminster or SPS for sixth form. Dulwich offers an awful lot often, especially sport, to a higher standard than SPS.

Travelling on public transport is tiring. If your child has a long commute then the best option would be the school coach. Are you not able to move closer to a coach stop? Or move closer to the school? My son commutes just over an hour on the school coach every morning, that doesn't include the short drive to get him to the stop. I pick him up in the afternoon and we sit in horrendous traffic jams to get home. The school coach leaves school 50 minutes after school finishes( he can do his homework in a supervised area). If he took the coach home he could realistically be getting home at 6.15pm.
On public transport your child will be lugging ( on various days), sports kit, musical instrument, back pack. Some days, all three!
We are moving so that he can do some after school activities, it's easier for us to get to parents evenings, school drama/music productions/social evenings/events, early morning sports fixtures! And so he can meet up with friends locally.
There are a lot of boys who commute on public transport but they generally have a direct journey or they take the school coach.
St Pauls is an amazing school, it depends on how much you/ he is willing to sacrifice to go there.

"Are you too late to look at Westminster?"

Yes, about a year too late. They pretest in year 6, and although like any school will look at a late candidate in exceptional circumstances, there's nothing posted here that suggests any would apply here.

"A bog standard comp may not get you the very useful connections either."

And people actually defend this state of affairs? And pay into into it to perpetuate it?

Are you too late to look at Westminster? I think high achievers from SE London go there as it is an easy walk from Victoria. My DS is at SPS & I don't think they have much homework but I wouldn't send my child across London to get there.

The boys do still go in & out of the gate on the bridge, it's only open when they go in & out & there is a porter there checking who is going in/out.

Would you be prepared to move if it was obvious the commute wasn't working ? If dh and ds prefer boarding won't they just turn this round on you if things goes wrong ? It is slightly more do-able at 13 than 11 but those first few terms are crucial to integrating and he may worry he misses out.

It will depend on the child. Yesterday, DS was up at 6:30 to leave the house at 7:10 to catch his bus (7:20) to school, arriving at 8:40. He went to school all day then did rowing from 3:30-5:30. He then caught a city bus down to where his father works, met him and they walked to the train station and got the train home together. When they got to our train station, he was still on a high from rowing and asked if he could dump his bags in DH's car and run the 1.5 miles home (in the wind and pouring rain- crazy child!). He appeared at the front door at 7:02.

I'd try the commute a few times with your son and see how he feels about it.

If OP is ruling out DC under Dr Spence, she may as well rule out Eton as well.

So, Winchester it is.

(It's no more hostile to the school's list management nor to other parents to be holding one CE offer and trying for two day schools in February/March, than it is to be holding three CE offers as late as this).

SPGS is an hour on one bus from my house then a 15 min walk but
I'm not considering it.
It's too much, every day , 5 days a week, 7 years.
Even though I completely love the school. Tough decision.

Many DC find a long school commute stressful and, IMVHO, there are only rarely justifiable reasons for a commute as long as the one proposed in the OP. I would never want a child of mine to have such a journey to school.