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Original poster

Is this Normal Secondary Homework Behaviour - Or Should I be Worried?

33 replies

GirlInASwirl · 30/09/2014 11:39

The information from school is that my son (Y7) should be doing around an hour of homework a night. The tasks certainly seem consistent with this.

Since he started high school (3 weeks ago) we have had homework every night from 3.45 to sometimes 7.30-8 pm. This makes tea late and I am worried that my son is not getting enough relaxation/leisure time mid-week. I am very frustrated and know that the homework support/routine has to change (for everyone's sanity).

My son did very well in his primary SATS with some level 5s. But that was due to intensive,systematic work every night at home - where he has done everything with guidance. My son is bright - but he also processes information slowly, finds following instructions difficult and has sudden drops in concentration/daydreams. He responds slowly and often with answers that seem unrelated to the question. School have also noticed this quirkiness - but there were differing responses to whether he had extra support/SEN needs. He did however get extra support for his coordination and writing skills (reluctance for the latter).

I am trying to gradually withdraw so that my son takes more onus for his work. His concentration wonders/he struggles with low motivation and does need some monitoring to keep him on task - or else nothing would be completed.

I am unsure how much of his behaviour is conscious non-cooperation and how much is down to any difficulties. This makes dealing with the situation subtle and I admit that sometimes I feel at a loss.

Example Problems during homework:

Only superficial understanding of the task to be done/the purpose of it
Often does not know when work is due in
Daydreaming/low work output when left on own
Fiddling with things/random off-task behaviour if left alone
Doing tasks he wants rather than what has been set
Responding to every distraction - cats, traffic outside etc

At this stage; I am unsure whether this is 'normal' behaviour, symptomatic of extra support needs or just a transition thing that will pass.

Would welcome opinions and ideas on how to motivate children to do homework. If it was your child; would you contact the school and let them know?

OP posts:
titchy · 30/09/2014 12:57

I think you need to supervise quite closely tbh to see what's actually going on with him. I agree with the general principle that parents should back off during the secondary years, but gradually, and only once they've settled in, know what's expected of them and good habits have been instilled. Backing off now is setting him up to fail from day one.

So homework in kitchen with you hovering, he has to tell you what the task is (worth emailing school to see if tasks are put on the website - ours do this), what he needs to do to achieve it, then give him small targets -e.g. write down five facts about earthquakes in 20 minutes. Then he shows you, then he tells you what the next bit of the task is and you set him another 20 mins to do it etc etc.

Until you do that I don't think you can really be sure whether his issues are mere procrastination, or the fact that he genuinely can't process the information.

homebythesea · 30/09/2014 12:47

But is the study entirely distraction free? I think you need to almost do a home experiment to see how much of the time spent each evening is wasted time - so if you take him away from all potential distraction and keep him in view more or less, and he STILL takes hours every night you know there may be a more fundamental issue to discuss with the teachers

Original poster
GirlInASwirl · 30/09/2014 12:42

Liking the idea of 20 min. bursts - Lizzy - did similar when he did his SATs revision and had some success. Could try again.

I am not sure if its the school not giving clear instructions; or if my DS is distracted at the time that the homework is discussed - Crazy. It could just be pre-occupation as he is packing his stuff away and thinking about getting to his next class. We have discussed what happens at the end of class and how important it is to write down the homework task and the due date. He often hasn't written it down fully in his planner; but can elaborate a little. Due dates are a real problem though - so we just assume next session.

Mummy - my partner and I have discussed a similar approach lately. We think differently on it. My partner is all for it thinking it will save work later. I feel uneasy though for two reasons I think. 1.) The school is in the process of arranging ability bands and I would prefer DS to get into a higher band where they will have greater expectations and (hopefully) motivated class mates. And 2.) I am finding it hard to back off fully and let him 'fail' - even though I can see that progress must always start from a base point.

There is a peaceful home here and he has a study where he can sit and work quietly.

OP posts:
homebythesea · 30/09/2014 12:36

I think there's 2 issues here:

Not having understanding of what the homework is / not knowing the deadline

and

Daydreaming / distraction

The first can be improved by him in terms of using homework diary properly, and asking the teacher at the end of the class if the task set is not clear. If he is not doing this then maybe ask the school to put him on report ie to show his homework diary to his tutor every day to show he is using it properly.

The second could be improved by you in terms of providing a suitable distraction free environment. If he can't be left in his own bedroom to do homeowrk can you set him up on the kitchen / dining table, no other items within reach except books required, so you can hover and check he is actually working for the duration (I think he may be taking so long because of the distractions IYSWIM)

I don't think 1 hr a night is excessive. Neither do I personally subscribe to the "down tools after X minutes" approach - the time for each task is just a guideline IMO and some may take more than others, and undone work may come back and bite later if the notes are needed for tests for example. But as i said I think you need to make sure actual work is being done and if that means you need to be in hover mode more than you's like then so be it - hopefully as he matures and gets into the senior school mode of working you will then be able to withdraw.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 30/09/2014 12:25

Having DDs who except for revision and hateful history projects, seem to do just fine on about 3-5hrs HW a week, until Y10, I'd seriously ask what's going on.

An hour a night would be reasonable if appreciable effort was put into MFLs and all subjects consistently set HW. But what your DS is doing is way OTT.

(At the DDs school not all subjects and teachers do set HW. DD1 is dyslexic and MFL were a non starter. DD2 is good at one and simply gets detention for the other. There is no cure for this except giving it up at the end of the year.)

mummytime · 30/09/2014 12:14

Find out how long they expect him to spend on each piece. Then time him, and stop him after the time has finished. I would stick in post it notes, or you could write in the planner (teachers sometimes suggested writing into the book itself). The best thing is to let him work at his standard, and then request he gets help if teachers complain (although detention can often be used to help re-explain expectations). If he just works slowly (no messing) then the school needs to understand - so I'd probably talk to HOY or form tutor.
Does he have a school planner? Can he write his homework in in properly? With completion date? If he struggles with that I'd mention it to the school.

Do you have a parents evening coming up?

Sometimes its better to get the school to tell your child to do something, as they will listen more to teachers. Also a peaceful home life is very important for learning.

crazymum53 · 30/09/2014 12:01

I would contact the school OP, if the guideline is 1 hour that's far too long.
it isn't unusual for children to struggle with organising homework at the start of Y7. But if the problem is that teachers are not giving clear instructions the school does need to know.

Mabelface · 30/09/2014 11:46

That's too much for him. 20 minute bursts would be better. My daughter is the same with processing bit has improved massively and is coping fine in year 11. Having more visual stuff has helped her.

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