Is this Normal Secondary Homework Behaviour - Or Should I be Worried?

Will you tell us how it's been resolved?

You are way too involved.The point of homework is for the Dc to manage it themselves.If he hasn't understood it then the teacher needs to know this.

Great news, how?

To be honest, the first thing I thought on reading your post was that he sounds remarkably like my DC who is dyslexic and has processing/memory/concentration issues that define the dyslexia, rather than any issues with reading/writing as such.

I think as others have said there are several separate issues, not least that either the amount of homework set seems excessive for Yr7 (in fact my sixth-form child doesn't work for this long in the evenin!) or the length of time he is taking to do each piece is far longer than the teacher expects? Either way this really needs raising with the Head of Year.

Also, not understanding the task is a major problem, which needn't persist - this makes me wonder about some processing issues in that the teacher is probably explaining and your DS is writing down at the same time, but not fully getting all the info....lots of children have issues with this, and it's something that again needs mentioning to the school. My dyslexic DC struggles with this - the teachers are meant to check the planner to make sure the task is written down properly, preferably after they've written it on the board. This is where asking friends helps as well - my DC are always reading out homework tasks/asking for clarification from their friends.

If nothing improves with all the advice you've been given on this thread I would consider speaking to the SENCO at school just to check there are no underlying learning issues. Often these don't really show up till secondary school when the intellectual demands are so much greater.

Terribly de motivating to be told the fruits of your labour are not up to snuff. They might well be below par but that is not your decision to make, even less to make him do it again. What's the point of a child going to school with perfect homework? How is the teacher supposed to properly assess ability / highlight weaknesses if you have effectively done it for him? And it's the re-doing that adds to the time taken which was your initial concern!

No, it is what you said (he wrote two pages, you deemed it not good enough and he had to start again.). To some (including me) that would be seen as demotivating.

I have a y7 who needs a bit of whipping into action at times, but I would never tell him his work was not good enough if he put time and effort in and produced 2 pages of written work.

If the style of writing (a diary instead of a story) is a problem, the teacher will tell him. And he more likely would accept this critique from him/her than from you.

I would really think about using a timer, and remove all distractions from the room (including the cat ), it must be demoralising for him to have these seemingly never ending tasks that are then deemed not good enough.

We use a timer for our Y7 and Y6 boys, and also they are only allowed screen time after homework is done. This seems to work. For now. Thing is, it is not always easy, I do know that!

step away from the homework

You're his mum, not the homework monitor!

Have fun together, relax, take the pressure off, prioritise the love.

Seriously, you demotivate and demoralise him like this every day!!!

Where is the positive affirmation?

I think you either need to step away a little or alternatively do it all for him to your standard. I think his teachers might notice though. [roll]

I think helping a DC understand the task, plus helping with structuring etc can be fine. Sometimes the DC needs 1-1 to help them understand.

However you need to lower your expectations to ensure he can produce stuff in a reasonable time. And also, if you are not doing already, you need to include notes on the homework as to the level of support you have given him.

(DD1 needed support throughout y7-9, and now y11 still requires some with certain tasks. The aim is she will be able to do them by May!)

Why didn't you let him hand in he'd done on the haunted house? As I said earlier you need to facilitate his homework, supervise him doing it, make sure he understands, check regularly, let him explain what he thinks he needs to do next.

Not mark the damn homework and judge whether it's up to standard - that's up to the teacher!

And is he'd handed in something way off target better the teacher knows that he struggled with it.

I get why you want him in the top sets, but in all honesty if he's having to do 3 or 4 hours a night, with you only letting him hand something in once you've determined it's what is required, he shouldn't be in the top sets.

I think if you keep at him - he will just "pretend" to study. Then in a few years he could totally flare up and rebel.

I have experience of how demotivating it is for students to be in too high a set, where they struggle to get the work done, can barely keep up in class and receive no help for any extra needs they may have.

Extrinsic motivation - which is all you are giving him, ultimately doesn't work. Intrinsic motivation which you and school should be trying to build is far more useful and long lasting. He's only just at the beginning of year 7 and you are not letting him learn by his mistakes.

If he struggles to get the homework down, it is worthwhile flagging this to the school who can help. If it is relatively minor then maybe you need to get him to play the "phone a friend card".

However especially at in years 7-9 students need outside interests. The most successful people I know all did a variety of things outside school, and that tends to be where "soft" skills are learnt and developed. It is also something that all universities and employers look for (even if Oxbridge are only really interested in those which relate to their subject).

I think I stepped back from content a couple of year sago op. It was actually the key to stop homework battles. So, since year 4/5 I have seen it as my job to make sure he sits down and does it, but the content is up to school. We talked about it and I said that is what I would do, and then the content was between him and his teacher.
He actually jumped at the change and the homework battles changed completely.

I know your ds has a few additional needs, but I would say that maybe the time has come for you to step back.
I would tell him also that after a certain time, you will put a note saying he has spent 30 minutes on it and send it back like that. That may motivate him to make the 30 minutes worth while.
The other end of that may be that he does get a detention to re-do homework, and that might give him the push he needs.

If that approach isn't going to work, then you need to sit down with school and make a plan of action

I think your role is to make sure he works, not comment on the quality of the work. Time will come when you probably won't know how to help with the subject matter anyway (GCSE level). Micromanaging is not the way ahead, helping him to be organised and focused on the task is within the parental remit IMO. Take him out if the study into your full view and see how he approaches his work

You need him to hand in the two pages that he had written in the reasonable amount of time. He will get feedback from the teacher as to whether it is acceptable and you will get tea on time.

I get why you want him to be in higher sets - really - but you have to step back and let him do the homework on his own. He's written a couple of pages, but you decide only one paragraph is good enough? And why couldn't a haunted house story be in diary form?

It sounds like he's letting you take over - 'mum'll do it for me'. Yes, keep half an eye open to check he's actually working. But otherwise you need to let him do it himself. After all, you can't control the work he does in the classroom. And if he's not managing at all, it may well be that he'll be better off in slightly lower sets - it's not some kind of a punishment not to be in the top sets.

Blimey. Your son has no appetite for work. Give him a break. Seriously consider the issues involved of creating resistance to work at such an early stage.

intensive systematic work at home every day for SATs? why?

I don't let my kids spend more than between 30 mins and 1 hour max on homework (oldest is only in Y7).

We also distinguish between real work and day dreaming. We all do our homework at the kitchen table before dinner, after dinner it is time to relax.

I feel your DS is spending a lot of his time doing homework inefficiently, could you help him with that? or the school?

Far far too much time spent on homework. Not fair on the child in any way, shape or form. Asking for trouble further down the line by overworking him.

Overall balance of life and mental and emotional health will be very compromised by overdoing it on schoolwork at such an early stage. It just isn't neccesary.

I'm on my phone so not as wordy. 20 minutes at a time can mean the difference between good, motivated work or poorly thought out "I'm just going to get stuff on paper to get it out of the way" work. As he matures, his concentration span will improve. In the meantime, speak to his form tutor or year manager and ask for strategies with regard to him writing his homework down properly and maybe some lesson notes if they're available.

ds has just started year 7. He gets between 1-3 pieces per night, each one should take 20-30 minutes.
he is at grammar school so the expectation is high, but the homework seems to be very balanced - finishing off something from class, or learning words in french and so on.

He is hopeless when he has to research in the computer, as that takes him hours, but apart from that he really is spending the time the school says.

So I would say you need to work out if the tasks given are too much, or if it is that he is struggling to do them.

Not having it written down is a big issue, that I would tackle early on.

My ds is very motivated and has gone off to do homework without being asked (!) but I still need to help him structure, work out his time (you need to finish that now and move on to next task) and keep a check on getting it all done. It is a massive change from primary and they need help with the adjustment.
I would break it down into subjects, get him to explain the task to you, sit him down with a timer (15 minutes) then check on him, how much has been done etc, give him a second 15 minutes, then put a post it note into the planner.
Get him to go and run around for 10 minutes, then task 2. It will take a lot of support from you, but if that is what he needs, better to teach him how to structure his time, and withdraw than let him drop.

I would also have a word with form tutor, especially about not getting task written down. Do you have an email for him/her?