Straw poll- would you make a child try for grammar school if they didn't want to bug had siblings there?

You do know 3bunnies that it is perfectly possible to "pursue academic study" in a comprehensive school.

If a y5 has to receive tutoring in English and Maths you are on a rocky road. I can just about see its possible benefits for NVR and familiarisation with 11+ exam type questions, but English & Maths...

OP it's difficult. I had the same with one of my DS's. You have to hear them and give their views validation and respect their strength of character. Also really think which school is the best fit for your child. Despite what some people think children are getting wonderful, academically rigorous and inspiring education in our comps.

You the adult must be responsible for the decision though. It is too big for a child to handle.

Perhaps do the test and keep options open???

The other way to approach the tutor issue is that it is important 'even at a comp' to go into secondary school with a firm grasp of Maths and English. It will do her no harm and will mean that she will be in higher sets as a result. That is how we are approaching it. Dd1 wants to go to the grammar school but not sure whether she will pass. If not then it will stand her in good stead wherever she goes. Also if 'all' her classmates get tutors then she might find herself slipping behind in yr 5 even if they don't all pass the 11+. I think though it also depends on the grammar school. If you are talking about a superselective then I don't think it is probably the right place for her if she doesn't want to pursue academic study. For a 20-30% grammar then there is more to be argued for getting her to reconsider.

If her reasons really are because it was hot and the other school had a pig then yes I would make her take the test. Friends and I were talking the other day about what we would have picked our schools on, mine was because I loved the big double height art room. Hardly the basis for choosing a school on. Dd looked at two schools and discarded one because at one school they had been doing creative writing (which she loves) and the other was doing a lesson on Shakespeare (which she didn't fancy the sound of). Once we explained they would do both things at both schools she changed her mind.

I don't think at 10yrs old they have the maturity or the forward thinking to choose a school. They can offer opinions but that's it. I have heard children not wanting to go to grammar because they think they will have more homework etc - this tends to be based on hearsay or older siblings but with no real direct comparison. I really think 3bunnies has the right answer (2nd post).

What tess73 said. Her feelings are of course very important but in the end it's up to you to make the decision, because at10 she simply doesn't have all the information or understanding available to really grasp the long term implications.

it really depends on what the alternative is. if the choice is a great grammar or bad comp, then you have to make the choice. If she is not really "grammar school material" and will take a lot of coaching and the comp is pretty good then go with the comp.
You can't let a 10 year old decide these things.

I know it's just a turn of phrase, but I don't want children to have their nose to the grindstone.

They should piss about, and be nagged here and there until they pass enough exams to do whatever it is they want to do.

Is it a proper comprehensive school she will go to if she doesn't go to the grammar? What are the %ages of different abilities there?

I think a school having a pig is an EXCELLENT reason for wanting to go there!

We picked DS's primary on the basis that every year they get a tray of eggs and keep them warm and let them hatch in the classroom.

More schools should have pigs.

part of a parent's job is making decisions which the child doesn't have the maturity or experience to make themselves, and I don't think a 10 yr old does.
Choosing a school because it has a pig I think illustrates this nicely.

I am in similar dilemma, son did test and has score enough for grammar but he doesn't want to go. Local comp ok but not outstanding. I don't want him to miss out on opportunities or regret not going in the future.....

is she saying she doesn't want to go because she is secretly scared of not passing?

What are YOUR reasons for wanting her to do the Grammar entry?

What are her reasons for wanting to go to the comp?

To be at a different school from her sibling?

Because she does not feel confident and is afraid of failing?

Because she doesn't want the pressure?

Because she has seen and heard things she likes about the comp?

Has she been to see both schools in the Yr 5open days?

Mostly my answer veers towards 'no' but I would take all the reasons into account.

No way. I went to grammar, hated it. DS is adamant it's not for him even though other family are there so I'm happy with that. DS2 might go for it though, they're very different boys and I've promised them they can have a say in their school choice.

No, I definitely wouldn't make my child do it.

Nope.. Ds1 is at a grammar.. Ds2 didn't sit the test as he was adamant he wanted the comp.. He's now yr 9, and doing really well... And is happy!