Is your child in the top set of a comprehensive school? Can I ask you something?

I have two DSs, both in top set (year 7 and 9). They have experienced bullying, but it was (DS1) from a child who is generally a bit of a nutter, and DS1 appeared to have been fairly randomly selected as a target and DS2 had some rather complicated friendship issues where he was very good friends with one of a set of twins and not so close with the other. This is ongoing and appears to be supported by the parents so pretty tricky. Not aware of anyone being bullied because of being in the top set.

Well I went to a very mixed comprehensive in the 80s and was in all top sets - and no one was bullied for that. If anything you were more likely to get hassle for being clever in when everyone was in mixed-ability class. A friend went to a different school where they didn't set late on and she got bullied whilst in a mixed ability class.

Don't know yet with my primary aged children but certainly happened to an extent at my secondary, I think more so with the girls than the boys. It was much better when we moved on to different sixth form colleges.

No. She's in top sets for everything. She tells us nothing we only found out after probing from her aunt. I really don't think a big deal is made out of it at her school.

No, this has never happened to either of my DC and I have not heard of bullying for this reason at the school ( an average comp in Northern city).

No never.

I have 2 DDs who are now at uni. Both were in the top sets for everything. They went to our local comp, which has a bigger than average proportion of fsm. They both have friends from all abilities. On the day dd1 and her best friend went to collect their results for GCSE, DD1 got all As/A*, her friend managed 6Cs. Both celebrated each others results because they'd achieved what they were predicted.

Out of a total of 14 years in school/6th form I never heard a single incidence of a child being bullied because they were a "swat".

Nope Dd very happy . she's not one if the super confident kids but lives school so def not bullied

Normal comprehensive here (albeit a very good one). Very mixed intake, absolutely no bullying because people are in top sets. DS1, now in sixth form, has always been top set, DS2 has somehow worked his way up there (probably some mistake, but that's another thread). It is definitely cool to be bright, achieving but most of all trying!

No, never. DD in year 12, ds1 in year 11.
ive never heard of it happening tbh.

ps: the one bad thing (DD's leafy school) is she says a LOT of the boys (any set) bandy the N-word around constantly, it's some kind of coolness badge. This is a 98.5% white school in UKIP territory :(.

Somehow the word came up in some class & DD pointedly made a public statement about how very uncool it was. Said that no boys would meet her eye.

Yes and no. If she'd gone to our local one, though, it might be a different story.

No.

But most of her friends are also in top set for most things so the people who's opinion she would care about are unlikely to be bothered about her.

IMO there are far more things that would cause 'bullying' than being in the top set. DS1#s longer hair caused a bit of bullying, I am fully expecting DS2's slightly eccentric behaviour to cause some problems. Being in the top set, not so much.

Nope, DC in 2 different schools. One leafy town, one not.
DD got some grief in primary, but not secondary. I think she'd eat them for lunch if they dared now, and then send her Muscle after then if still annoyed (yes she has an entourage).

On Instagram recently, a boy (knew from primary) asked "Are you still a geek?" DD's new secondary friends pounced on the asker anyway, but DD fumed that she didn't shoot back "Yeah, but if you thought I was such a geek why did you always beg me to be on your football team?"

Ds1, Y8, assures me no bullying at his large boys' comp, unlike the lovely little primary he went to! He's in top sets and very happy, so are his friends. And the advantage of the comp is that he is friends with boys in other sets who share his interests in minecraft etc but just need to go at a steadier pace in maths and English. They do have mixed groups for some subjects, which may help, but I think it all comes down to zero tolerance of bullying by the school. But he also started this school with a cohort of friends so there could be a range of factors working in favour of the geeks!

threepiecesuite, obviously a very long time ago, but in my school days my 'gang' was made up of the top of the top set and bottom of the bottom set - i.e. the weird kids

feetheart Sorry to hear about your dd's primary. I have a dd in Y7 too, she has just started at the same high school as ds but I'm not sure they're in sets yet. I know this is perhaps an odd view but I think we are lucky here that there are very few chances to go to a selective or private school because the schools are genuinely comprehensive.

I'd say at dd's school being in the top set is fine, but being at the top of the top set and not sporty to offset it is less helpful. Seems pretty much as it was in my day.

I teach secondary, and throughout the sets I never hear of any name-calling about who is in which set.
To a bottom set child, Top Set is a thing of wonder where everyone works silently and knows everything. Conversely, some top set children think that bottom set is all just colouring in and shouting out. I always put the record straight on both counts.

Not at my boys current school no, but one of the reasons we moved ds1 when he was in yr9 was due to bullying, it was not 'cool' to be bright, to want to work etc in his old high school. Normal comprehensive, no grammar schools here.

There is no issue at all as his school now, yr11 and ds2 is in yr8, both in top sets and that's fine. There is a good work ethic throughout the school and same re behaviour unlike at the old sschool where there was lots of low level bullying and disruption and bad behaviour in classes.

Not sure what the difference is, I thinking partly that it's a smaller school, 900 ish pupils as opposed to 1500 and they seem to know their pupils better. They also have a fantastic pastoral support team.

Ds is very academic but is also a right pain in the bum sometimes and has never been bullied at all for being top set. His friendship groups seems to span all abilities and he's happy if he has a mate in lessons but equally has found new friends in his set lessons too.

Oddboots - good to hear as DD has just gone into Yr7 in the same non-leafy town :) Is in top sets so far and just LOVING it.
Mind you the children in her year group at primary had such a rough time that nothing will phase them in high school

there is very little (that I'm aware of - dd has verbal diarrhoea & tells me pretty much EVERYTHING that EVERYONE does/thinks/says, whether I want to know or nor) social angst going on - most people seem to rub along quite happily. There was a bit of strife between the 'wannabe alpha X-factor airheads*' at the very beginning of year 7 - sorted out by separating them into different houses, I think it was problems brought up from primary school - but nothing since.

I was (secretly) shitting myself when dd very publicly - in an English speaking assignment in front of half the year - came out as gay/bisexual in year 8 ... but that hasn't caused any problems either!

• I wasn't delighted by that description but I know what dd means & the giggly dumb act is not a route to popularity there. My social advice to her is stay out of trouble & be friendly to everyone which seems to have worked.

No. I frequently ask DD1 if the girls who enjoy reading and so forth are found weeping in a solitary corner till one sympathetic teacher silently presses a dog-eared copy of Tess of the D'Urbervilles into their hands and she snorts loudly and goes off to the school library.