Is your child in the top set of a comprehensive school? Can I ask you something?

I've already commented from a parent's pov on this thread but am also a teacher and would like to share with you something that happened in one of my KS3 top sets last year. We were discussing a character in a play who was reluctant to speak up in class for fear of being thought clever. I asked the class why they thought she might have felt like that. Not one of them suggested that it might be for fear of being teased or bullied and when I raised it as a possibility they were astonished. I teach in a well-regarded but very ordinary comprehensive and haven't come across it as a problem in this or any of the previous schools I have taught in - all normal comps.

Bakedoff WTF indeed!

No bullying for being clever at DDs Comp.

Top set DD1 does slightly too much fitting in and too little work, but that's what she'd be like anywhere. She only likes to show off if she can be the very very best. Eg. she'll do back walkovers in PE.

DD1(16) did get stick for being a square peg in a round hole. She is easily set one bright, but her dyslexic writing skill barely stagger into set 3.

Thus, she fetches up in set 2 able to answer everything, with very iffy, in your face social skills. Clearly kids keen to go up the pecking order find her an easy target.

Thankfully by the end of Y9, those who wanted to do well realised she's actually a rather good member of your group as she's hard working and good at explaining stuff. She also grew up a lot.

Totally agree, primary if you the only really bright DC in a small year group it can be very hard. dD1 was lucky they had a top table of 4 that was just big enough to work. Past years have had one DC way above the others and that's been hard.

No. I have 2 top set children and neither are bullied for being top set. Their friends are mainly other top set children and there are 240 per year. Both of my kids know of children who aren't say top set maths but amazing tape and being amazing at another subject is considered cool.

The school is one of the best in the county so high achievement in anything from sport to debating to science is respected asking sarge talented person isn't rubbing it in anyone's face or something.

DS in top sets (set 2 for maths) in Y11 at roughish Catholic comprehensive.

Never had any issues with being bullied as far as I'm aware. He's on vague speaking terms with guys who are definitely not in top sets and not interested in learning, so that's not an issue either. I expect he's probably taken the occasional daft comment about being a geek (though he isn't), but I wouldn't consider that bullying, just banter.

We've recently had a letter saying he's getting an award for being in the top 20 highest effort marks during Y10, which he seems vaguely pleased about, in a nonchalant teenage boy kind of way.

I would say if anything it's the other way around. At the dc's primary it was the high ability group kids who did the bullying - I think a few of them had to be given a firm telling off for calling some kids as thick and stupid and teasing them after receiving poor test results.
Higher sets are something the kids all aspire to, failing isn't seen as cool anymore.

My DS has been mostly in mixed ability groups in a high achieving comp.

He isn't outstanding but has ended up in the slightly higher groups as external exams have loomed.

In the early years there was more general unpleasantness, then the troubled ones seemed to coalesce into picking on each other. My son seems very intolerant of those in his class who just seem to him uninterested in learning. So it's not widened his horizons so far.

I don't see it has been that great for any of them. I believe research shows it pulls up some middle attainers. What I'm saying is they don't exactly respect one another.

DS is yr 9 in a decent comp. He is top set for everything apart from PE.

It is certainly not cool to be keen to learn, DS is far more interested in what people think of him than how he actually performs sadly.

TheOriginalSteamingNit
"Explored One poster is saying it happens in comprehensives of all kinds, where bottom sets fail to 'laud' the top set children for their achievements and bully them out of envy. Meanwhile the top set cower apprehensively in justified fear"

WTF

I agree that today's teenagers are much nicer than in the 80s.

They do feel proud and happy when someone they know achieves something they're striving for.

The girl who moved recently to dd's school and is astoundingly clever, sang the first verse of Once In Royal David's City at the carol concert, is apparently mildly frustrating in her massive talent at everything, niceness and popularity...

Oddboots - I agree with you that it's a positive thing that the lack of a private option has made the local schools here truly comprehensive. Our only issue was which of the three local ones within walking distance to go for :)
Fortunately the problems in primary were just DD's year group (who were a nightmare right from reception) DS is now Yr4 at the same primary and has had a brilliant time there. The disruptive ones in DD's year have been spread very thinly in the high school and, hopefully for them and everyone else concerned, seem to be doing OK so far.

Dd doesn't. All her friends are also in the top sets.

I think she might have the odd kid in her form who calls her a geek but I wouldn't say she's bullied. She loves been a geek, has got the big geek glasses and everything!

dd has a classmate who moved from Australia half way through year 7, then missed an awful lot of year 8 through ill health & in many ways she's really struggled academically. Anyway, she has slogged her guts out for the last 6 months & has just been "promoted" to the top set for maths & science ... her tutor group was so excited they practically threw a party! I really do think most teenagers are lovely.

Here!

It's the 'regretting grammar school' one.

Is this a fred about a fred? Where's the original?

Yes, I think teenagers are nicer today than they used to be. No idea why.

More people need to read this thread!

One Y9 boy, decent comprehensive but not the sort some on MN would wet their knickers over getting their children into. His sets are all over - top, second and middle. There doesn't appear to be any bullying related to sets - if anything, being clever is cool and he was outraged at being moved down in French.

See also: reading under desk, deliberately under-achieving, set on bad track for life etc etc etc ad nauseam.

"However, I really believe teenagers today are so much nicer than they were in the 80s. They seem to support and enjoy each other's achievements, where in my day they would always knock them down."

I totally agree.

Explored One poster is saying it happens in comprehensives of all kinds, where bottom sets fail to 'laud' the top set children for their achievements and bully them out of envy. Meanwhile the top set cower apprehensively in justified fear

I was, well actually I'm not sure it was bullying, certainly wasn't called that at the time but there was some name calling etc.

However, I really believe teenagers today are so much nicer than they were in the 80s. They seem to support and enjoy each other's achievements, where in my day they would always knock them down.

Are the people telling you it's common talking about things happening today (I'm sure there is still some) or are they projecting remembering their own experiences?

The other point to consider is that parents who support Grammars forget that single sex, selective schools bring their own issues.

I know some horror stories about a super selective girls grammars. Eating disorders, bullying, self harming etc.

Dd is at uni flat sharing with a girl who went to one in London. She has suffered horrendous bullying at that school and has developed eating issues she is still dealing with. She was also not invited to the A level prize giving, she wasn't surprised as she'd "only" got ABB.

Dd is in top set, she hasn't been bullied (yet) even though she is tiny, wears specs and has autism. Dd has a small group of friends who aren't in the top set but seems to fly under the radar as she is very quiet. I'm hoping this situation continues. She does seem to avoid the thuggish ones though by being top set so that's a positive.

Normal comprehensive.
Yes and no I'd say. Dd has name calling and I think the boys have it worse. What I'd call low level rather than out and out. Probably better now most things are setted in year 9 so they aren't coming into as much contact with those who are in no top sets.