Is your child in the top set of a comprehensive school? Can I ask you something?

We're only a few weeks in, but no sign of being clever being seen as anything but good. Same when I was at school.

And picking up BTM's point - a comp is going to have a fair number of clever kids. That's why it's called a comprehensive.

motherinferior

DS is top sets for everything has friends from across the range and AFAIK has never been bullied for anything.

I just asked DD2 (just started in Y7, smart as a whip). Her reply:

"Don't be silly, it's not like the movies with groups of nerds and groups of other people. Don't stereotype."

I don't have a child at high school, but at my grammar school the top set girls were called swots and sneered at by less able girls who had had their nose put out of joint by no longer being top of the class like they were at primary school. The school selected on verbal and non verbal reasoning, but not on kindness or tolerance, so no reason that the kids and parents there would all be model citizens I suppose!

I am quite pleased that my ds1's experience is not the norm but sadly he was bullied for being bright, being a geek and wanting to work whilsta significant majority in his top set classes wanted to dick about instead. Thankfully he is much happier at his new school where ssuch behaviour is not tolerated and a good work ethic is fostered and there is good pastoral support for students.

I do wonder how some schools can get it so wrong whilst other schools stamp on this kind of behaviour and don't tolerate bullying. His new school is much more supportive and caring whilst also bring quite 'strict' at the same time. I say New school He moved in yr9 and is now in yr11.

Thank you!

Very insightful post TheOriginalSteamingNit. I completely agree.

Just checked with mine as they came home: 'no', in unison. Points made also include:
it's never about who's clever; it's about who's popular - that's what counts at school.
Popular children are likely to be in the top set.
Popular children who do bullying are also likely to be there - better at bullying because they are clever.
People care quite a lot about what set they are in, and want to be in the top one.

Dd1 said - 'is someone actually saying that?' and made a sort of spluttering noise at the notion.

I think people often come out with this idea of 'cool' ('at dd's school it is cool/not cool to be clever' etc) but the thing is, I think at every kind of school, it's just cool to be cool. It's not reducible to ability, sport, money or looks, though sometimes is a combination of all of those + charisma. But I think you'd struggle to find anywhere where the notion of 'cool' was homogeneous as people suggest - and if you found it, I wouldn't want my children to go there.

No

Ds1 is top set for science.
No bullying afaik.

DD(15) is top set. She isn't bullied for being "clever" - there are plenty of clever kids there.

This just reminded me of something DS1's head teacher at junior school reported to me with some amusement.

One lad said to DS1, "I bet you think you're cleverer than me, don't you?"

DS1, "Yup!"

Other child (a friend of DC1's) did goldfish impressions for a minute then they both burst into hysterical laughter.

My DD is in year 10, top sets. Never been bullied for being bright. It's a local comp - albeit a very very good one

Do kids at the top set of selectives get bullied by the less select, do you think?

Top set son is a little self conscious about being above average ability,but hasnt been bullied....one or two snide comments from the "class clown",but thats it...as i keep telling him..top set equals better grades which equals better life...(and i am a binman)

Both DCs were in the top sets, no physical bullying at all that they reported. School very hot on bullying policy.

They both had very smart mouths so no verbal bullying either. Well not more than once.

In fact quite a few of the bullies were in the top sets with me....

I was in all the tops sets when i went to comp. I was bullied horrendously but never, ever because of that tbh.

Nope. He's part of a bookish crowd and there are doubtless many who are not so bookish, but the different groups tend to leave each other alone. DS is in great demand when it comes to forming quiz teams, which he will do with people who are 'experts' in all sorts of areas. The school seems to be genuinely friendly and supportive of everyone.

He got a bit of teasing for 'speaking posh' but he knows how to handle it.

Oh, it's a comp.

My yr11 son has been in the top set for everything all along [proud].
He has never been bullied and as far as I know there isn't a problem at his school (Essex/Cambridge border) with the "try-ards" doing well.

He gets called a try-ard but it's all good natured, at least from what I hear from him.

NO.
DD is now at college.
The top sets "gang" all supported each other and were lauded by the school.
Never had issues from other kids outside of lessons.

NO
DS is still at the school and is picked on when he's a prat but never for being clever.