Is your child in the top set of a comprehensive school? Can I ask you something?

hak
the trouble is that many who are scared of "bullying the bright" are basing their views on what happened when they were at school in the 60's 70's and 80's
without having taken on board the immense changes in education back then.

FWIW my younger brother WAS bullied for being a "swot"
and my school had huge problems with an "anti academic" attitude
but they were both private, selective well known London single sex day schools

DS1 is at a large boys comp, he is in YR8 and in top sets for everything except PE. He has never encountered bullying for being in the top sets or for being clever.

Statistically, it's not going to hold up . I wouldn't trust a stat based on 100 responses.

Is 100 responses telling you that people's experiences that top set students are not bullied for being clever not enough?

Ds1's New school is not private, it is actually just another comprehensive/high school. Prob similar catchment area, actually didn't do as well at ofsted... But still behaviour is better, attainment is better and most important for me the pastoral support is amazing. They have Bern brilliant with ds2 now yr8 who struggled with transition to high school. And ds1 is flying both academically and most importantly with friendships, he is happy, no more tearful boy that we had at his old School.

No - for any of mine (dc1 - just left for University, dc2 in Yr11, and dc3 in Yr8).
I too think there's a different culture. dd1 took part in a 'mentoring scheme' last year through being one of the top (15?? something like that) at English in her school and they were drawn together with similar people from other schools in a sort of a G&T thing which they had to plan and then take back into their schools to support / increase reading for pleasure with younger pupils or something, I'm a bit vague on the details At the end of the term, they had a sort of presentation night and all the pupils selected were given T-shirts with I love Geeks,, or It's cool to be a geek or similar on them, which they are comfortable wearing out and about at the weekends, etc. It's just not a bad thing to be 'bright' or 'academic' anymore.

No bullying at our comp, 2 DDs in top sets. It's a very different picture to the way it was in primary, especially for DD1 who was most definitely bullied for being bright.

It's a big comp though, and the top sets as a result are sizeable. It's very hard to bully a group of 12 girls and 8 boys who all like each other and will stick up for each other.

DS in secondary: Top sets for everything, wins prizes, plays a musical instrument in school concerts, hopeless at sport and especially football, is quite slight for his age.

In a comp in a non-glamorous area of South London, with higher than average %s of everything that is thought might cause issues.

No bullying, a wide diversity of friends in top sets and others, does not know anyone or know of anyone who has been bullied. And no one makes comments about high achieving kids, or picks on them, and there is no culture of it not being cool to learn. (which isn't to say that everyone is keen to learn -there are kids who are disruptive etc, but they don't pick on clever or industrious kids, and they are well dealt with by staff).

Just 2 things to add.

1. Pulling bright kids down is worse in mixed ability - where there is a huge range and people near the bottom are always near the bottom. Setting at least gives a wider range of kids a chance to shine and can mean that those intimidated/threatened by brighter kids don't feel so threatened. Usually, once people get into sets, there's more incentive to value doing well.

1. I think the culture as a whole has changed. IT just wasn't cook to be seen as clever in the 80s/90s (my school days), but there's so much pressure for kids to do well (and do much intervention if they're not hitting their imaginary aspirational target, that being good at school is something to desperately aspire to.

My dd has never said anything about bullying at her school. She is mostly friends with others in the top set, but not exclusively so. She is in a huge fully comp school in a not-posh part of SE London.

Not in my experience of private schools either. I have 2 DC at different schools and in both working hard is the norm. If anything not working hard is seen as a negative thing.

That isnt something I've seen at any private school, Hakluyt. Wanting to work hard has always been accepted ime (both as a pupil and now as a parent of a pupil)

Broadly speaking, my experiences of private schools (both as former pupil and now as bill payer) have been the exact opposite of my experiences of stage schools (again both as pupil and parent).

No.

Both DS1&2 were in the top sets for everything. They were never bullied for being clever. DS2 was picked to go to a residential at Cambridge university for science, with 2 others, other pupils thought it was great and wanted to know all about it.

DS1 won county young writer of the year twice (was entered through the school) it was seen as a positive thing.

They weren't lauded they didn't expect to be!

Well the majority yes's are heartening. I was bullied for being a bright one but that was 25+ years ago (sink comp. NW England). I'd love to think it had changed. It wasn't aggressive bullying though, far more subtle. "Swot" was a definite insult, swots weren't included in certain social circles. I was constantly told by my immediate peers to "stop using big words" when I spoke to them.

I clearly remember the class cheering when results were read out and mine wasn't top. I also remember laughter if I gave an incorrect answer.

I remember whispers that kids were going to get their parents to complain about 'favouritism' and 'special treatment' when the teachers set me different work to stretch me.

It was fucking miserable.

I worked hard for the next 20 years and made shed loads of money and now shamelessly show off to the losers on facebook. Payback took years but it was worth it.

We're privately educating DDs and one of the major reasons I justified this to myself was knowing that being bright and working hard would never be unfashionable or frowned upon in a private setting (though its not without its own issues I know!)

My dsd was relentlessly picked on for wanting to work. Not for being clever/top set, because she isn't, but for wanting to get on and listen and try her hardest. She didn't like the low-level constant disruption and chatter and distractions, and said so (not in a particularly bolshy way, just in a baffled 'why not just get on with it' way) and the rest of her schooldays were a misery, tbh.

Well ds1 went to the School for two and a bit years, came home miserable and in tears often at being unable to get work done due to kids messing around, jumping on tables in technology lessons for example or spitting in the food he made in home ec or whatever they call it now. Constant name calling and low level stuff. The school were crap at dealing with it. We didn't want to move him as it was our local school and meant to be ggood. We now pay £800 a yr for a bus to a school 6 miles away.

And of course Amber is right: it's impossible to judge how a school will go when your child has only been in year 7 a few weeks.... Oh wait.

"a character in a play who was reluctant to speak up in class for fear of being thought clever. I asked the class why they thought she might have felt like that. Not one of them suggested that it might be for fear of being teased or bullied and when I raised it as a possibility they were astonished. "

Hmm.. on my planet they would only look astonished, especially any children who do tease and bully.

Y7 DD is a bit like that character, tends to avoid limelight, and claims that's because she doesn't want to be seen as "showing-off or boasting". Because of the modesty most children tend to like her and some appear to quite like her beating certain other (smug) children at this or that.

*Making

I once taught a girl who was convinced in year 7 and 8 that she was bullied by other kids for being clever. In reality she was make my constant comments on other people's sets and test scores and was pretty smug about her superior marks. She made comments like "oh, you wouldn't know that because you're in bottom set" or "don't worry about that bit because your only level 4, that's only for level 6 people" and she always made a point of asking less able kids their marks only to say "that's a really good level...for you" She wasn't being bullied really, she was just alienating the others as her social skills were a bit behind. By year 9 she had started to settle down and by year 11 she was a really lovely girl with a nice group of friends. There is no culture of bullying top set kids at my school, almost all of the most "popular" kids are in top or second set. Most of our kids aspire to move up sets and those.

One child's subjective experience doesn't tell you much about the ethos of a school.