Is your child in the top set of a comprehensive school? Can I ask you something?

Nope mine aren't bullied over anything (dd kept being hit in junior school but that was one particular child who absolutely hated her guts)

Which in the case of ds1 surprises me to be honest, I was really worried he would be bullied but no

Low level intimidation by older children but no bullying per se

My DS is almost 16, in top set and has never had an issue with bullying.

Neither did I in school (eons ago)...

DD is in year 8 and at the local bog standard comp. She's top of almost everything bar PE. Not a stealth boast, she's firmly middle class and has had advantages her classmates from the surrounding estates haven't, of which she is very well aware.

There seems to be less bullying at this place than in the smaller, more MC primary she attended. I've certainly not noticed any bullying aimed at her or indeed anyone.

Like Yacinamac's DS she is at a South London school in an unfashionable area with a high percentage of ESOL and free school meals. It's a lovely and supportive school.

No not at all.

It's more normal to be geeky at dds school than cool. In fact to the extent that geeky is cool.

The bullying done to ds1 was acactually mainly done by other top set kids. Bright kids who didn't like to/didn't want to work in class and took the piss out of ds1 because he did want to.

He consistently kept his head down and didn't retaliate. The school complimented him as a 'model pupil' but did bugger all about the bullying. It was always a supply teacher issue. When the reality seemed to be a general lack of control of classes by teachers, consistent poor behaviour from a core group of students and it's still happening now two years later. (have friends whose children are still at the school). They are now becoming an academy like most schools in our county. Maybe things will change?

In the meantime schools that were doing badly have steadily and surely been improving and yet the sought after school is gradually getting worse results. Imo they rested on their laurels a bit, as they have always been the 'good' school that is oversubscribed with a good catchment area. It will be interesting yo as what happens in future as we have a new high school opened this year and as I said the others are now outperforming it.

Perhaps you could ask the question 'Are your DC resentful of the DC in the top sets?'of those MNers who have DC in lower sets Hakluyt?

Good point! Though since the question is about bullying, I guess it's easier to know, and to say, that your child is/isn't being bullied, than to say (or know) that they are a bully...

No, not my dd either. She has only started secondary school in August so early days. She is in the classes with her small group of friends so she's been very lucky.

In primary she was occasionally called teacher's pet etc, which did annoy her but she ignored it.

No bulling of DC in the top sets but a simmering seething resentment towards them from DC in lower sets. They feel that the school showcases these students thus undermining their (the DC in the lower sets) work ethic. Also the top set students are seen as 'precious' and lacking in any kind of empathy for students that have to work hard just to get a C.

Perhaps you could ask the question 'Are your DC resentful of the DC in the top sets?'of those MNers who have DC in lower sets Hakluyt?

DS1 was bullied at primary school for being Scottish (allegedly). The real reason was that he was in a class full of little shits and the school let them away with it. The Scottishness was simply a pretext.

...and FWIW, ds was bullied at primary school (not for being clever, just another also clever kid who lacked self-confidence), so it's not that I just refuse to imagine that it happens.

(The primary school were fantastic about it and dealt with it strongly both times)

DS1 wasn't bullied for being in the top maths set in his old school.

With bullying I really don't think it's actually about whatever it is presented as. People aren't really bullied because they're good at maths or because they have red hair or glasses or whatever. The maths or hair or glasses is just an excuse. Not being in the top set or whatever wouldn't prevent the bullying; there'd just be a different excuse.

Not at all. Ds is in S3 (equivalent of Y9 I think - will sit his Nat 5s ie GCSE equivalents in 2016).

He's been in the top set for both English and Maths since they were set early in the first term of S1. English and Maths are the only subjects that are set: it will only be next year (exam year) that they set for the other subjects (more because they are then funnelling down to who will be doing Nat 4 and who will be doing Nat 5) As far as I am aware, none of them get teased for being in the top set

Also, my friend's daughter is being bullied at the same grammar school for being gifted at running. She won a sports scholarship and competes nationally. I don't believe this bulling would happen in a comp.

My ED has experienced bullying, though I don't believe that there is any correlation between her victimisation and her academic success. More the fact that she's petite and seemed an easy target.

I was in the top stream at my rough northern comp in the 80's and never witnessed any bulling for being 'clever'. The teaching, on the whole, was pretty rubbish, but I have happy memories of my school days.

My cousin, on the other hand, went to a well regarded private grammar school in Surrey and experienced terrible bulling at the hands of a gang of bitchy girls jealous of her good looks and talent at English and Art. They slashed her A'Level artwork with a stanly knife and singed her hair with a match (during a lesson).

No, quite the opposite. They seem to have become very popular with some of the children in the lower sets (perhaps encouraged by their parents who are hoping it will rub off on them!).

I could have written Yak's post exactly, except my DC's school is in East London.

All 3 of my DS's were/are in top sets and none have been bullied for it, or their friends either.

Think about it. Most schools are under immense pressure from OFSTED to help the kids achieve top results. Even the slightest hint of bullying would get stamped on from a massive height.

Yak, I thought that was an urban myth
I(teacher)/my DH (who is a sec DH)/my DC(at sec school) haven't heard of such a thing actually happen. And we live in South London!
So sorry for your brother.

Would love to know where it is Yak. It sounds fab

DS is in a comprehensive in an area of South London I have seen rejected as a place to live several times on MN because it is 'unsafe', or unpleasant (it is neither, of course, or not especially so).
He is not bullied for being in the top stream and sets
Neither are his friends, in top or other sets.
No one comments negatively on doing well, they compete healthily for achievement prizes (which are available in each ability stream) and no-one gets a negative reaction to being awarded one of the days out, etc.
The child with a congenital deformity does not get bullied or teased.
The boy who identifies as gay does not get bullied or teased
(I know both these kids and their parents)
And most of all:
No one has ever been 'eaten alive' in the playground.

The school is opposite a big council estate, it has high ratio of FSM, ESOL, etc. (this seems to scare off many MNers)

It is a happy and successful school.

My brother went to a co-ed grammar in the 1970s and had his head flushed down the toilet on the first day. My DS has never heard of such a thing happen.

Just asked dd2 (y12 now, massive swot :) ) and she actually laughed and asked "who would do that?"

"I do know the kids I teach a bit better than that!"

You're apparently from a more up-market planet then, although this one does have some leaves.

Here except for one old, seasoned, maverick DD has left a trail of teacher behind her who were forced to revise what they knew by-and-by and although a more extreme case, I don't believe she is that unique.

Hmm.. on my planet they would only look astonished, especially any children who do tease and bully.

LMAO, Pique, I do know the kids I teach a bit better than that!

Another one here with children mostly in top sets and not bullied for it.

Mind you, DS1 was in second set maths for a while and not bullied there either.

And DS2 diddled around for a while in bottom set German and loved it. Make of that what you will.

The only way you'll find out whether it will happen at your (potential?) school is to put your child there and then ask them.