Homework, sigh...

Dragon

In response to asking to see his completed homework I get, 'yeah, I've emailed it. I've shut the laptop down now and it's installing updates or something so it'll take AGES to boot up. Can I go on the Xbox?'

As a teacher I love parents who check homework and get dc reading and doing extra practice outside of official homework, it really does make my life easier if kids are getting homework completed and learning stuff as we go along.

As a parent, dd1 has been responsible for ensuring her homework is done since about yr3 She's in y 10 now and I haven't signed her planner once in the whole time she's been at secondary She's a motivated, driven girl though, who has her eyes on Oxbridge, so I don't need to crack the whip. Dd2 is only 4, so I will have to wait and see if I can be so easygoing when she starts getting homework.

i've read with fascination (have Y10 dyspraxic DS) and will comment later but in the meantime: Word - do you write non-fiction?

To put people out of their misery, I'm not a household name .

But I am prolific and sell in lots of countries in lots of languages. This adds up to a lot of sales.

Another interfering parent here. I check my ds2 planner, he is in yr8. I checked and made sure he did the work, and did it properly last year and will continue until he get to a point where he does it, and does it well without my support. This is on the back of my experience with dd1 who completed gcses last year and is now working on ASs. I did the same for her because school sets some, not very much homework, they often dont care very much about the quality of work from the well behaved kids, they are happy to get it done; i imagine they are working on getting the less engaged kids to do anything, let alone homework.
Anyway, i felt and still feel that i dont want to gamble in the hope that my kids will motivate themeselves to do as well as they can and teachers are too stretched to worry too much. Sometimes it has made me unpopular at home but the policy has worked to date. What my dd1 does now that she is a young adult is up to her. My daughter would not have done as well at gcse and might not have made that link between hard work getting results perhaps she would, but as i say i am not prepared to risk it.

I'm currently alternating between a Michael Innes- and when he gets too twee, a Ruth Rendell........(god,you're not Ruth Rendell, are you? No, of course you're not- she's 457 years old!)

As an aside the nicest audio book if listened to recently was Colm Tobin's The Testament of Mary read by ... Drum roll... Meryl Streep!

God that woman is fab!

I can't be bothered to read HP, but I love the audio books. I've got the first GoT on my phone but I haven't listned to it yet.

Harry Potter I adore, but am seriously over exposed. I've heard those CDs a billion times.

GOT is just not my cuppa.

DC can't get enough of either - too much is never enough.

So I choose our car journey books

Well - I love them. Many people do. But equally they aren't everyone's cup of tea, for various reasons (some people won't read fantasy, some think they are too violent too rude or too sexist, or all the above. Some people think they are too long). I don't think there is necessarily going to be an isomorphic correlation between AF and GOT lovers... But as I said. I love them.

I read that story last night, incidentally! Thanks for the link. :) I do wish the person who wrote Spring Term would do another book.

Should I read Game of Thrones?

I refused to buy the GOT audio books. I told DS that I was never going to move on the subject, and he could either follow the Axis of Awesome agenda, or forget about it. But that wasn't so much me wanting him to read them because I like them, but me wanting him to read for pleasure. I refused to buy the HP audio books because they were so expensive. But we have loads of others and everything Big Finish have ever produced - however our in-car fare is generally either folk music (if DH has the power) or Cabin Pressure/Bleak/Eddie Izzard, if the rest of us do.

I've been indoctrinating my kids since the second they were born, not even unconsciously, definitely on purpose, but my methods are subtle. And, it has to be said, extremely effective.

I think we probably all indoctrinate our D C ! Be it hak and her Mum approved stuff, or rabbit refusing to have Twilight in the house .

Or me insisting that I get to choose the family audio book in the car because I'm the bloody driver so I refuse Harry Potter or GOT!

I'm all for DC developing independent study habits and I am lucky enough to have DC who just get on with it so I rarely know what they are doing. However just like acquiring good routines for sleep, meals and exercise, I think that the routine of regular quiet time set aside for sustained concentration whether it is homework, revising or reading is a good one and should n't necessarily depend on the DCs having their own self motivation or timekeeping. Getting used to sitting down and starting an unwanted even difficult task is a critical skill throughout life.
My DS's prep school had an hour 4 days a week of 'preptime' for the boarders up to the end of year 8. It was certainly enough for excellent academic progress and the children just accepted it as part of their routine.

Ahhhggg teenagers are a nightmare especially boys. My year 9 is exactly the same, half hearted effort, late to hand in work etc

I blame computer games as he was fine before we got him a xbox the games are adrenalin filed and other hobby or interest seems boring. I've taken away the xbox, phone and computer. He's still in the disgusting phase of I hate you, you've ruined my life but I'm hoping he improves soon or else its boarding school.

Yeah, well, when he starts protesting seriously, I'll rethink . At the moment, he's quite enjoying being pushed into different directions.

Agree Rabbit.

On reflection, I think it might actually be counter productive to relegate classical composers or Motown to the coercion zone. Far better for a person to just experience music as part of the natural warp and weft of normal life, the key thing is for people to grasp that there is no music that is necessarily 'not for them' by definition, but that they are free to listen to what they like, and they don't have to be bound by convention or the tastes of others, whether 'others' means peers or parents.

There is a difference between making stuff available to kids (facilitation) and coercion though. And if I was going to coerce a young person to listen to music I certainly wouldn't waste the time on Brahms, who they are quite likely to experience/encounter without parental supervision. Ditto Stevie (who I adore but who really doesn't need to be pushed by parents).

I'll put the placard away then! But if he likes opera he would have liked it when he came across it of his one accord wouldn't he? I think I just struggle with the notion of 'approved' books/music/whatever. They're such personal things and I wouldn't want to impose my choices on the DC. Other than having books/music etc that I have enjoyed on the shelves which they are free to pick up.

Same with schoolwork/homework. I want them to develop their own work ethic, not be forced to adhere to my idea of how/when homework should be done.

Congrats to your DS on the guitar prize btw.

"Don't you think they need to discover and develop their own tastes?"

Yep. On a non extra curricular activity day he is home by 4 and goes to bed about 10. He has 5 hours to discover and develop his own tastes. Not to mention the time spent listening as he walks to school. Another hour. And all day on Saturday and Sunday. As I said, if it wasn't for the mum approved music, he would probably not have discovered that he likes opera. Or written the arrangement of a Stevie Wonder song for solo guitar he won a prize for. No need for a campaign to Free the Hakluyt One!

I am at 'mum approved books' and 'mum approved music'. Don't you think they need to discover and develop their own tastes? Although I suppose my DC have been subjected to our taste in music on long car journeys (that's how they discovered they liked The Jam and The Smiths )

Where homework is concerned I take a very hands off approach. It's their homework and they have to develop their own work ethic and take the consequences if it's not done/not done well enough. I'm obviously always happy to help if needed and will test vocab etc if asked but that's as far as it goes.

I really like the idea of a routine of an hour a night, but it wouldn't have worked for either of mine. One did too many ecs to contemplate it on a regular basis and I don't think ever did that much homework even averaged over a week before year 12 except in exceptional circumstances (eg: multiple majorish assignments due in at once or exam weeks) and the other was too stubborn and lazy and the battle would have wrecked our relationship. Both have turned into sensible adults with a good attitude to work though.

Hak - yesterday DD2 had 35 minutes between getting home from school and going out to drama (for 3 hours). She spent that eating chips and listening to Miss Saigon while wiggling her eyebrows. After she got back from drama (8:30) she watched bake off, fed the kittens and went to bed (where she read for longer than I would have liked). She didn't have any homework, had she had any bake-off would have gone the way of all flesh. I really don't think she needs me controlling her cultural inputs beyond the purchasing stage.