I think DDs school want her out

Capsium - my school has a Zero Tolerance policy WRT bullying. Everything else - we're not that stupid

This site has information regarding access to your child's school records.

www.cfoi.org.uk/persfilesintro.html

Outtolunch, when I said specialised school it was the only way of describing my dds school without outing myself. It specialises in a certain activity and only does academic work for 1/2 the week yet gets amazing academic results because of the teaching there. A friends dd did a weeks work experience there and said the academic teachers who had worked in mainstream education said it was unlike any place they had ever worked before

Starlight - is it possible, do you think, that given I have worked with this child and his mum for 3 years, not just as a class teacher, but as someone who runs activities that he is involved with after school and at weekends, that I know more about this specific case than you do?

Just a thought.

Evil this is why the content of what is being taught needs to be made the motivating factor, that and verbal encouragement can go a long way. Oh and avoid Zero Tolerance....

Starlight - your post makes no sense.

If you read my previous posts, you'll see what that was referring to.

Other children sometimes think it's unfair that certain students top the praise point tables consistently because some teachers give them points for things that other students do automatically. IMO, it's lazy and unfair. And yes, plenty of parents moan on MN education boards that their quiet hardworking children never get certificates because other children always do.

My point was that no single child should trump another - rewards should be given fairly. But then no reward system is ever going to be seen as completely fair by everybody.

You need to put your request in writing OP, for your child's 'school record'. They have to respond, by law.

'The child sees us as the enemy because we don't let him do exactly as he wants whereas Mum gives in 9 times out of 10.'

How can you know that? Do you live with them?

Perhaps she feels that 1:1 careful monitoring of his disability and development in behavioural terms is too complex and too arduous a task to expect the school to deliver so she has requested a system that the school can stick to that is the least undermining of what she is trying to achieve at home.

Fairenuff - you're talking yourself round in circles in your attempt to discredit me. Yes, I only have to think about my own lesson, but if I (and each of my colleagues) were setting each child 3 targets each per subject on which their praise points were dependent that's a heck of a lot of targets a child has to remember. This thread started with a frustrated mother whose DD was not being given help remembering a set of instructions in a lesson. Now you're suggesting that same child (or another like her) should be expected to know nearly 40 targets and be able to remember which ones the get points for in which lesson? Hardly.

Evil I don't believe teachers are the enemy but they are not beyond reproach either.

I do challenge (anyone, teachers or children) when I feel the need to, I also let things go, sometimes, too. This makes me a friend, not an enemy.

I do not employ Zero Tolerance. I don't think many, including those within the teaching professions, would be very happy if I did....

'SEN does not equal naughty. I know that. The other children sometimes see that as unfair'

So what? Why must a child who is at an already considerable disadvantage bear the brunt of the teachers' lack of skill at engaging or managing those other children?

Op, I'm wondering whether it would be advisable to ask for a copy (or to have sight of it) of her PPR (that's what it's called in Scotland, not sure about England). This file would have been created since primary school and followed her throughout her education. There would be a cost to get a copy, I think, but it may be useful for when you are making complaints and pushing for support to be put back in place.

I am assuming that her previous school would have sent it to her present school so they would see written records and current SN plans. The question is, why are they not giving her 15 hours support per week or implementing the other support you have mentioned that was helpful to her in other schools?

How frustrating for you and her .

Totally agree with you Capsium and as it happens I am rather fond of this particular child and an often the teacher saying "try this... This works in my classroom... You're wrong - he is very talented at X, Y & Z" to colleagues. Which is why the blanket "teachers are the enemy" attitude is frustrating and insulting.

WRT the praise system - it's not about individual targets - that's not so simple in secondary where children are in 5 different lessons per day.

But you only have to concern yourself with your lessons and if a child achieves a target in your lesson, or with their homework, then you can reward them.

It's about a variety of things including personal standard of work - something the SENCO implemented because obviously standard of work is different for different children.

This is contradicting your first statement that they can't have individual targets. I agree with your SENCO, the children should have a personal standard. All the children. Have you not set individual targets then?

Evil. Frustrating as this maybe, you are the educational professionals and are paid for educating this child, following procedures and consulting with her. She is not. You must just continue to consult, feed back honestly and make the best decisions you can, to do what is best for the child.

Yes, you're right, but the mother in question has requested that the school behaves in a particular way WRT her DS so it help no one if we follow her wishes and then she does the opposite. The child sees us as the enemy because we don't let him do exactly as he wants whereas Mum gives in 9 times out of 10.

Only read first page lucy but I feel the school is letting your dd down in not making any real provision for her learning difficulties and special needs (ADHD and dyslexia), unlike previous schools she has attended.
ADHD in girls is often under diagnosed and probably under provided for as well (even where it has been identified)

Sorry haven't read more of thread but initial feeling is could it be possible to find a new school for her? (I know you've said this wouldn't be easy, but hopefully not impossible?) They seem to be taking a very negative approach where she is at the moment. I feel for you both and hope you can find a good way forward x

^sorry that last post to Evil.

ODD = Oppositional Defiance Disorder?

I thought, in terms of this condition, it is often considered beneficial to de-escalate conflicts and avoid crisis points? Over enforcement of 'firm boundaries' I can quite easily see being counter productive in terms of this condition, in that it could clause the person in question to 'dig their heels in further' / meltdown.

Yes, it may be apparent something is going wrong. But as an outsider, I would say you have to take a very considered approach, which often involves treading a fine line between different strategies. You cannot easily judge in this scenario.

outtolunch - yes I have, though obviously not as frequently as a parent of a child with ADHD.

Capsium - in this specific example, the conversation happened in school, with the child present. She expects school to set boundaries and to be consistent but doesn't do the same herself. This is not helpful to her DS who had ODD as well as ADHD and needs to be really confident about what he is and is not doing. The confusion does not help him.

WRT the praise system - it's not about individual targets - that's not so simple in secondary where children are in 5 different lessons per day. It's about a variety of things including personal standard of work - something the SENCO implemented because obviously standard of work is different for different children. However, sometimes, teachers use it as an incentive for children who the other kids'perceive as "naughty" - thanks to whoever pointed out that SEN does not equal naughty. I know that. The other children sometimes see that as unfair.

Evil have you ever witnessed a meltdown , it maybe that the mother knew that the effect could be catastrophic for several weeks and that in the end the positive effects of the activity may outweigh the negative of the short term sanction.A parent has to see the whole picture not just one small part.

Maybe participation could help his self esteem that my help him to manage the meltdowns in the future or it may aid another aspect of his social development.I do understand what you are trying to say but it's really not as simple as it may seem on the surface .ADHD is a massively complex condition, , I would say that whilst we manage it well it affects 100% of our family life .