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Original poster

I think DDs school want her out

258 replies

lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 10:54

DD 14 attends an academy school. She is achieving very low grades 3c-4a . She has ADHD and dyslexia . In the last few months they seem to be targeting DD . DD is no angel but she has never bullied anyone sworn smoked etc . Her crime not concentrating and being a bit disruptive (chatty ). Previous schools have dealt with it well simply by refocussing her . They tell her she is going to be permanently excluded then wonder why she has become more defiant and off with them .I know there are students much more challenging but achieve higher grades and they don't get harassed. They call me many times a day over things like her shirt was untucked ,she had gum really trivial minor things that don't warrant the sanctions and calls home.Where as some classmates truant and swear and nothing.Even her classmates ask teacher why they only tell DD off . When i complain they more or less say im the problem and they are trying to "correct her behaviour" and i make it difficult. Sadly moving her isn't an option in the area i'm in. I'm so desperate i'm considering homeschooling but she'd hate it she is very sociable . I have made official complaint and outcome was they are doing their job i'm preventing them. What would you do?!!

OP posts:
marne2 · 13/09/2014 12:41

They should be supplying her with more support ( TA/1:1) and they should be helping her not putting her down by calling her 'stupid' and threatening exclusion.

marne2 · 13/09/2014 12:40

Sounds like the school is failing your dd Sad, if I was in you position ( and yes I do have 2 dd's with needs similar to your dd's ), I would be looking at finding a more suitable school. There are rules on excluding a child and to me it sounds like they have no real grounds to exclude her.

Fairenuff · 13/09/2014 12:31

If they are threatening exclusion every 5 minutes, then her disruptive behaviour must be much more frequent than you think/know/say. It must be almost constant on some days.

Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 12:15

I am well aware she is disruptive sometimes but calling her "stupid" and threatening her with exclusion every 5 minutes is apalling. I am a teacher so i know how annoying low level behaviour can be and expect it to be corrected . However she is so anxious she cries daily getting her into school .When she is having a good day she is not praised and the behaviour plan is not followed the reward parts ignored if a positive day just punished punished punished and ridiculed they say she never contributes to discussions i encouraged her to so she had a fundraising idea the class teacher said it was a rubbish idea and told the class to put their hand up if they thought it was a rubbish idea then said "see" . This is just one small example .

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 13/09/2014 11:31

Don't defend low-level disruptive behaviour, it is the bane of teachers' lives and stops not only your DD but other children from learning.

There are a few issues here:
Your DD is getting low grades (underachieving?)
Your DD is disrupting lessons
Your DD is breaking school rules
Your DD is becoming increasingly defiant.

Forget what other children may or may not be doing, you have no idea what is going on behind the scenes there. Focus on your DD. Her behaviour is an issue and at the moment you are undermining the school by supporting her in her poor behaviour over the school and their attempts to correct it. You are not doing her any favours as her important GCSE years approach.

On the other hand, if you want a school where your DD can chew gum, mess about, defy teachers and not work hard without any comeback, then homeschooling is probably your only option. Pissing about and getting poor grades doesn't lead to good college options though.

MissMillament · 13/09/2014 11:17

OK, if your DD was in my class (I assume she is Y9) this is what would be happening. I would be looking at her target grades and seeing that she needs to work hard this year to improve them. I would be looking at her behaviour for learning (chatty, disruptive) and focusing on that as a barrier to her achieving the grades that she will need to do well at GCSE level. And I would be trying to work with you to effect improvements in her behaviour and consequently her achievements. Because I have her best interests at heart, not because I am trying to get at her.
Instead of this, you sound like you have set your back up and are excusing her behaviour rather than attempting to help her amend it. If she is breaking school rules then she is breaking school rules. Your opinion about what other pupils may or may not be allowed to get away with is irrelevant. If you want the best for your DD you should be working with the school and that means encouraging her to conform, behave and work hard in class. Why are you finding this so hard to accept?

hercules1 · 13/09/2014 11:13

Also make sure senco is at the meeting

hercules1 · 13/09/2014 11:13

Firstly, don't focus on the other children. You're not there and have no idea how other children are being dealt with. It is unlikely there is whole school led conspiracy to get rid of her so instead put your energies into a plan. Ask for her yo be on report. - not for poor behaviour but to get a picture of how she is across the day. You're not looking for perfection but it might help to put things into perspective. - she might have had a dodgy 5 minutes but rest of the day was great.
Don't under estimate the effect of low level behaviour on the whole class and their learning. Why is her shirt not tucked in and she's chewing gum? These are easily sortable and take no effort.

If you are being called several times a day that's not good. Ask for a meeting and bring someone with you. Get clear targets for her that she understands and can work on.