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Original poster

I think DDs school want her out

258 replies

lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 10:54

DD 14 attends an academy school. She is achieving very low grades 3c-4a . She has ADHD and dyslexia . In the last few months they seem to be targeting DD . DD is no angel but she has never bullied anyone sworn smoked etc . Her crime not concentrating and being a bit disruptive (chatty ). Previous schools have dealt with it well simply by refocussing her . They tell her she is going to be permanently excluded then wonder why she has become more defiant and off with them .I know there are students much more challenging but achieve higher grades and they don't get harassed. They call me many times a day over things like her shirt was untucked ,she had gum really trivial minor things that don't warrant the sanctions and calls home.Where as some classmates truant and swear and nothing.Even her classmates ask teacher why they only tell DD off . When i complain they more or less say im the problem and they are trying to "correct her behaviour" and i make it difficult. Sadly moving her isn't an option in the area i'm in. I'm so desperate i'm considering homeschooling but she'd hate it she is very sociable . I have made official complaint and outcome was they are doing their job i'm preventing them. What would you do?!!

OP posts:
AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 13/09/2014 14:01

Teachers making a big issue over minor infringements of the behaviour management policy for a child with ADHD and LDs is not doing their best to support the child IMO. If she is struggling with particular rules or behaviours, then they should be looking at why she is strugging and trying to help come up with ways to support her better, NOT drag her down and stress her out more - which will only exacerbate the problems.

Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 14:00

Thank you for those that understand Thanks .
As she had previously coped with interventions i hadn't felt the need to medicate but am currently awaiting an appointment with CAHMS (been waiting forever!) to discuss medication . I really am trying to support them but these comments squash DDs self esteem further and i won't have it. They admitted saying this and apolgised(these issues have been with three teachers the other 20 something don't make such comments). Reading recent reports it really struck me you could tell which teachers actually knew her and which others just disliked her. eg One teacher wrote DD had no enthusiasm and was the complete opposite of a keen independent student another teacher she gets on with said her low self esteem and poor literacy skills prevent her from making adequate progress but she tries to the best of her ability!

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 13/09/2014 13:58

Rafa ADHD doesn't make it ok to chew gum or have your shirt untucked. An OP claiming that the school is making a big issue over minor infringements of the behaviour management policy is going to get very different responses to an OP having issues with teachers calling her DD stupid, losing their temper with her, behaving in a childish way and not supporting her with her SEN.

FelicityFoxton · 13/09/2014 13:53

Didn't HQ run a campaign about SN?

Not working is it , judging by some of these remarks.

This is a child with special needs. Of COURSE she needs a bollocking for chewin gum etc but it really isn't as easy as that.

I think you'd be better off posting this in SN section. You'd get replies from posters who know what they're talking about ( which I don't claim to - I have a little boy with ADHD and dyslexia however and know it can be rather tough )

FlossyMoo · 13/09/2014 13:50

Ok. So how did they lose their temper and where are the comments coming from?

I know teaching is tough sometimes and it must be incredibly frustrating but experienced teachers do not lose their temper with children.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 13/09/2014 13:49

In fairness, noble she did mention the dyslexia and ADHD in her first post which should have triggered one or two posters to think it might not be quite so simple as telling her to concentrate and behave. And several posters continued to say that even after she mentioned the stupid comment in her second post.

FelicityFoxton · 13/09/2014 13:49

If she has been diagnosed with ADHD what are the school doing about putting in support for this?

I think some posters do not grasp what it means for a child with ADHD - by it's very name it is a social and behavioural condition and needs careful managing. So to talk of her being disruptive and of her low level aggravating behaviour is all very well but there needs to be consideration for her learning difficulties.

School is hard for children with SN. So the posters commenting with no knowledge of these conditions should maybe educate themselves first before going any further.

Op - I would arrange a meeting with the school and talk to them about a clear behavioural plan. Involve the governors if need be.

Timetoask · 13/09/2014 13:48

How is her ADHD being treated? Is she getting medication?
It is an imbalance in the brain, she will be unable to concentrate without some sort of help. No sanctions in the world will stop her brain from wondering off if she has adhd. She needs proper support.

Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 13:48

These comments aren't from all teachers. Just two who admitted saying it as they "lost their temper" .

OP posts:
Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 13:46

Shes been to three schools including the one she attends . Not loads?! Things change i previously fully supported the school some issues i can't put on here due to the nature of the incidents have made me question the school. Further investigation has left me in this situation . I came here for advice after a very difficult start to term not to be treated as if i'm under suspicion . She is difficult at times i have never denied that but this negative spiral is just getting seriously out of hand .

OP posts:
FlossyMoo · 13/09/2014 13:43

Do teachers really talk to children this way this days?

Stupid?
Rubbish idea?
Idiotic?
A pain?
Constant threats of exclusion?

Are these things you have witnessed OP or is this what your DD is telling you they have said?

I am not saying she is lying but they sound like childish things for a teacher to say.

noblegiraffe · 13/09/2014 13:38

Why has she been in so many schools?

Your story is now different to the one in the OP. Of course it is not acceptable for a school to call your child stupid. It is acceptable to tell your child off for chewing gum or not having their shirt tucked in. Why did you mention that and not the calling her stupid in your OP? Confused
Perhaps you should ask MN to pull this thread and repost in clearer terms your actual issues.

Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 13:35

Yes i am in London . It is very difficult there have been a few instances of bad behaviour which i fully support sanction's imposed but most of the time its very minor trivial issues which they could sanction without calling me to rant .The school takes on many NQTs and i am in no way being ageist but in meeting i've attended it's like watching two teenagers argue. They roll eyes,wave fingers and flounce and when DD cried they said they were "glad" as at least she cared.

OP posts:
Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 13:30

She used to receive 15 hours 1-1 in previous schools.
I can understand how frustrating it is yes. As i said i am well aware she is no angel and I will punish bad behaviour. It is NOT ok to call an underachieving student with additional needs and very low self esteem "stupid" "a pain" "idiotic" "you must know your not a baby or are you" . If you think that's acceptable i'm worried ! Then complain she won't speak up when she does she is ridiculed .

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 13/09/2014 13:24

I think you should be trying to encourage your DD to behave better in school and concentrate more on her lessons. If they are calling you many times a day this seems very strange indeed. Are you in the UK?

PenelopePitstops · 13/09/2014 13:19

Sounds like she is being a pain in school and you know it.

If you are a teacher then you will know just how much time is needed to plan and deliver lessons. If I have a bottom set and each child needs a timetable to focus learning, a report on their learning and a variety of other things to differentiate it often takes more than an hour to prepare a one hour lesson. Add this to teaching 20 hours per week and I'm already spending over 40hours planning. This is why they don't have time, they really don't.

Your dd needs to behave. That is the crux of this. All the differentiation in the world isn't going to fix the fact that she isn't completing work when asked and thinks it's ok to mess and not concentrate.

She needs consistency from you. Each time school ring and she has done something wrong then she is punished. Picking and choosing what to punish her for doesn't help either.

Floggingmolly · 13/09/2014 13:18

Sorry, Lucy, missed that. Is she eligible for any help?

Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 13:09

She has LD ?! Dyslexia and ADHD with in her ADHD developmental delay! I am aware of what a concern her levels are . Her behaviour and attainment in sports and more hands on lessons is very good.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 13/09/2014 13:03

not concentrating is not a huge crime. But she's getting 3c's... At 14.
Unless she has learning difficulties; "not concentrating" could be a very large part of the problem. You're a teacher, you say?

Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 12:58

And actually i do support the school in discipline . I sanction and ground her if her behaviour is bad but for the last time punishing a child with SEN for not concentrating all the time is not on if they do NOTHING to help. If shes being disruptive fine i sanction .

OP posts:
Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 12:54

I am considering it but i can't afford to not work . No one else will pay the mortgage. So difficult ??.

OP posts:
bauhausfan · 13/09/2014 12:52

Would you consider home edding her for her GCSEs?

Original poster
lucydaniels4658 · 13/09/2014 12:51

Thank you marne . I am not here for criticism i am aware as i said DD is no angel but not concentrating is not a huge crime. SENCO has put nothing in place no IEP or support at previous schools this has been done no issues. I have told them she needs a timetable in lessons of whats expected and hand outs to refer to this has never been done she needs this so if her concentration does slip she still knows what to do now she says"what am i doing" they say get out you should have been listening . They say she is in the bottom groups they don't have time to differentiate work for all the bottom set.They threaten exclusion but have said shes no where near exclusion its a scare tactic . Well that just keeps backfiring.

OP posts:
Coolas · 13/09/2014 12:50

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Coolas · 13/09/2014 12:46

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