How do you justify seding your child to boarding school?

Teacherwithtwo I had siblings who boarded, generally positively but like you I would n't have been persuaded that the advantages of boarding in our case outweighed daily family life. Ditto my DH. We ended up sending one DC boarding because of his desire (yes his desire) to go to a better school than was locally available for him age 10. It was a brave decision on his part (and a difficult one for us) especially as he was initially homesick. Several years on it is increasingly clear of the benefits he has reaped, not just from the day education but the boarding aspect. and how very happy and fulfilled he is. It has also become clear to us how different boarding is particularly boys' boarding from the experience of our generation. There seems much more emotional warmth in the schools we have experienced and encouragement of diversity. There is also easy easy communication.

My DD attends an independent girls' day school fairly close to home. She is in her second year of secondary school and she bloody loves it. She seems to have some sort of sport or choir or band or school event on most nights, and is at the river near school for rowing training four mornings a week at 6 am.

Frankly, if Monday-Friday boarding were on offer she would be desperate to go, and it would make my life (full-time working in fairly senior & demanding job) a whole lot easier. I'd jump at the chance.

I can totally see the benefit in boarding for some kids.

That kind of snobbery where it's all about what looks best, rather than what is right for the child is one of those things that stuffs up children in boarding school.

Everyone else, including posters on here who obviously care, will be on the look out for signs of the child's unhappiness.

Both my DC's secondary schools offer weekly boarding. Full boarding is really reserved for foreign students (usually Chinese).

For some DC it's much more practical. DS school in particular, attracts boys from a very large catchment, so it would be horrendous/impossible for them to try to do a school run each day.

DD's school also offers flexi boarding and some girls do two/three days a week. You can also get ad hoc places (if there are beds). This is super helpful to parents whose schedules might clash only occasionally. Or during periods when girls might be at school extremely late.

Some people are committed to being a snob like that happy...

When my DC's prep school cohort were in the process of deciding on secondary school, there was a minority who absolutely were choosing termly boarding schools based on what they perceieved as some sort of hierarchy.

They would wander around, chests puffed out, speaking in de sotto tones about how X school ranks above Y school. Expecting everyone to be super impressed by the mention of Oundle or Harrow or wherever. Never once mentioning the issue of whether termly boarding is right for a girl/boy of 11 or 13.

Fortunately, such people are on the wane.

"Without exception the parents I know who have sent children to birding school have done it for snob value"
I've no doubt there is some of that out there especially for one some schools which I won't name. Although these kind of schools are usually over subscribed but I think this is a small minority at least it us amongst our friends.
You've got to be pretty committed to being a snob to cheerfully stump up virtually double the fees. Realistically boarding especially for those with more than 1 DC is outside of the financial reach of most people.

It's the complete lack of supervision in the evening/over bedtime at Hogwarts that's always amazed me. I mean they got a bit carried away after a quidditch match once and a teacher came to tell them to go to bed. Every other night they just took themselves off to bed when they were tired?

Yeah right. Obviously never worked in boarding JK Rowling

Have not RTFT.

One word: Hogwarts.

You have to remember Saganoren that these schools are not the same now as they were when you and your DH attended. There is much more affection, better pastoral care, more regular breaks and an overall different environment in the schools these days.

I'm sure it's not true of the parents on this thread, but without exception the parents I know who have sent children to boarding schools have done so for the snob value.

A quite common reason in my insane W London neck of the woods is that it's very hard to get into good London day schools and rather than facing the social stigma of sending a child to a "second-division" day school, parents would rather their child went to a boarding school which at least has a brand they can boast about at dinner parties.

I think they're nuts, but hey ho, as has been pointed out we're all different.

Having said that the nursery argument just doesn't stand up. Parents have to work and have to make difficult decisions about childcare. But a baby only needs some affection, clean nappies, food and sleep. A child needs someone to talk to about their day and with whom to share their worries and joys. They are not going to have that at boarding school, at least not in the way most children would have at home.

I went to bs and so did dh, btw.

Ah, poor child Dreamgirls It sounds like she had an awful time,I hate hearing stories like this.
She deserves some happiness now, I hope it all works out for you all.

I think home sickness would be my biggest conern but surely if you and your dc know its the right school you can prepare them for this before they go? No?

Sorry about my posts btw, these keys are sicking and mising letters.

My children aren't secondary age,nor at boarding school

Morethanpotato I should also say that a few loved it from the start and most went on to enjoy it without homesickness after a couple of years. So age 15 seemed easy in comparison.

I loved it by the time I was 16 but I was pretty independent by then and chose to stay with friends most weekends.

I suspect my DS might produce a rolling pin as well to make a pankake actually he wouldn't as he doesn't know what a rolling pin is.

But Hakluyt you once stated on a similar thread that you knew no more than 10 boarders. Your God children board I know but this hardly represents the whole boarding population!
No one has said boarding is right for all just that it's not the emotional train crash that many portray it to be.
Your experiences is not mine, or that if many children/patents at boarding schools.

I went to a school that was 1/4 boarding. Some of those were people who chose to board because they enjoyed it-not that they had dreadful home lives, but they enjoyed boarding.
Ime there were a good number of boarders whose parents returned from abroad and they could stop boarding and chose not to. In the time I was there, there was only one child who started boarding and chose not to continue when she had the option.

Of my dc sometimes I think dd2 would love boarding. We couldnt' afford it, so she hasn't the option, but I think she'd love the living in a community and all the advantages with boarding. Dd1 wouldn't-she's very committed to various after school clubs and wouldn't want to stop/do them elsewhere, and also needs her space.
Ds is only 7yo and I think there would be some aspects he could love (sports wise mostly!) but at present he would find the noise too much and needs time to discharge on his own or he finds things overwhelming. He's also a mummy's boy and would miss his hugs, but that might not be so much as issue when he reaches 11.

Although one of my friends at university had been (for good reasons) at boarding school since he was 7yo. We invited him to come and have pancakes and were most amused when he produced the rolling pin. having never seen them made he'd assumed that was the way they were made. Only time he did make a mistake like that though.

Morethan- please don't assume that people are commenting from a position of ignorance.

Frankly if someone asked me on mn to justify my parenting,id think jog on
I sent my weans to nursery ft,don't go to trips,don't attend sport day.to derision of mn massif
I imagine,just like the myriad of choices folk make,that boarding school seemed legit

I'll happily chew the fat,argue the toss on mumsnet.
But hell I've never felt need to justify myself

My DS aged 10 is off to boarding school as a full boarder in September.

He will comme home every 6 weeks and I will see him every 3 weeks. He will also see my parents who live near the school.

We are expats and he has several different SEN combined with a high IQ.

He is not reaching his full potential in our local international school.

He is also bloody miserable and due to his SEN unable to cope with the large noisy environment he is currently in.

His school here can not meet his needs. There is no other school here that can meet his needs.

He has been accepted into a UK boarding school which can meet his needs.

He spent 24 hours there a few months ago and loved it.

I feel we have no choice but to offer him this chance.

I am sure he will have good and bad days but when every day before was miserable we have to act and do something.

We haven't even decided about allowing dd to board but I appreciate all the experiences shared by parents of boarders.
I find it very sad that once again the unknown (to some) can bring out such criticism, and fail to undertand how people who haven't experienced something can make such sweeping generalisations.
to happyGardening Maryz and others for sharing.