Two DC. In two different Secondary Schools

Fair bit of it round here too, I also know of twins who go to different upper schools.

At one pont I could see DS and DD not going to any of the same first, middle or upper schools but DS didn't get the middle school we wanted so has gone to the one where DD was bullied .

It has brought back some quite bad memories to be honest but I am quick to nip anything in the bud I'm not happy with and it has a new Head.

Quite normal here.
ds went to one school then dd1 to another.
In the end, dd2 chose to go to same school as dd1, but it was a close call and she might have gone to a 3rd school.
I also know of twins that have gone to different secondary schools.
You've got to choose the right school for each of your dc, not agonise over the first then expect the others just to follow to a school that suits your pfb.

thanks x

Sparklingbrook if you're still around, I am interested in the fact you moved your son in year 8. My DS is end of yr 8, and he wants us to move him, and yes, my DS2 will start the same school he is at now in Sept. DS1 has had a bumpy ride, although had appeared to settle, but now some quite vicious bullying within a friendship group My question is, are you pleased you moved your son? And how long did it take him to settle at new school?

Two oldest DSs at 2 different secondaries here too. Not for selective reasons, just because. We do compare the schools but they seem to fit both personalities. Two youngest DSs at different primaries from September.

The worst bit is the getting them to school. Best bit the interesting people they, and we, meet. I think we know half the city and no day is ever the same. If one of them is having issues in a friendship group at school they tend to go and try out their brother's pals for a bit.

Enjoy

My two will be going to two different schools as well, but to add to it, eldest is at a state comp and the younger is going to a highly academic independent. They are different boys and have different needs.

My sister,brother and I all went to different schools.

I see it as normal at secondary.

My DD is about to start a different school from DS. She got into a selective (private) school that he didn't. He's happy where he is though and says (now!) that he didn't want to go there anyway.

But lots of DD's friends are going to DS's school - they went on their induction day today which was strange. DS came home talking about having seen DD's friends - it's odd thinking they'll all be together and DD won't be with them.

Her new school seems brilliant - loads of extra-curricular opportunities, that DS hasn't had, which does make me a bit sad for him (as well as happy for her of course). I do wonder how I can make it up for him.

I've got three at three different schools. I'd never considered it to be odd until I read people questioning it here! They're different people so I don't know why you would default to them going to the same place without thinking about it, at least.

I think by the end of year 6 my two were pleased to go their seperate ways.

School were just starting to notice how academic DS was, and there was lots of fuss about him getting into Westminster. DD felt very average.

DS on the other hand was sick of seeing his sister getting picked for everything because she was so uber confident etc!

These last years have allowed them to grow into themselves as individuals (always tricky for twins). I think sixth form will be okay (I hope). They will have developed who they are and have confidence in how they are.

When asked about DD joining his school, DS seems quite cool with it. Obviously, having immediate access to the new joining girls is a bonus! The only negative thing he has said, is that she'd better not be made a prefect and start lording it over him ...

I haven't at the moment but will have in 3 years time, as they go to single sex schools. ds1 went to a third school! ds2 I at local grammar school single sex and dd will go to single sex school, probably not the single sex grammar though as she's not up to that standard.

Ds1 is now at college, so one at college (17) one at senior boys school (12) and one at junior school (8), all three different sites. Luckily the transport is good here, ds1 gets the bus, ds2 cycles, so only have to get dd to school and collect.

My sister has 4 kids who were at 3 different schools. Eldest at the comp she taught at - youngest 3 at grammar schools (gendered)

It worked out pretty well for them!

Yep. DS1 at a selective grammar (2000 applicants for 180 places) and DS2 at the local comp. DS2 is really bright but his brother's school would not have been right for him and I didn't want him to even sit the tests. It was (and still is) the right thing for both of them.

DS1's journey to school is half an hour by bus and DS2's school is a 3 minute walk away!

About to - DS1 (yr 8) state comp and DS2 (yr 6) about to go to non selective co-ed private. It was his induction day today, we pick him up at 3.30pm, so fingers crossed it went well.

DS1 doesn't seem to mind and doesn't want to move. The thought of compulsory chapel makes it a no-go for him!! For DS2 sport and smaller classes was the decider.

I also had a second job interview this morning, that went well, so now have a job to pay for DS2 schooling and importantly a cleaner.

I think it could well be exactly the right thing for your kids. Agree with not comparing siblings. Mine went to single sex schools and by the time DD2 came along DD1 was year 12 so the comparisons were fading nicely.

I friend has had her kids at different mixed comps because they play to the strengths of each child ( and she has true choices being pretty equidistant between the 2) .

I would be concerned that people will say that sort of thing to DD2 - comparing her to DD1 - if it wasn't for the fact that she has always done exactly the same things DD1 does, by choice, on the grounds that 'DD1 makes good choices!'. She's used to being compared to her, and doesn't seem to mind. She takes it as a compliment (which it is, DD1 is lovely, as is DD2). It's much better for DS - who is very different to his sisters - to not be compared to either of them. At his school, he is who he is, not who he is in comparison with his sisters. So, he can be great at two instruments without anyone saying 'oh, but they do 4 don't they?' He can be good at history without anyone commenting on the marks DD1 got at that level. And so on. My sister was compared to me all the way up our school, and she hated it. When I hit the 6th form, for the very first time I was taught be a teacher who had never taught me before but had taught her all the time - and the firs thing she said was 'I hope you're as good at history as your sister' and it massively pissed me off. And only then did I realise how shitty life must have been for my sister for the last 3 years.

Well they went to the same prep school, and then both went off to single sex schools at secondary.

It's what they and we wanted at the time.

Being different sexes has always helped with the comparison problem. Plus they are soooo different in personalities/abilities.

But DD has said she'd like to transfer to DS school for sixth form (when it goes co-ed). It's in London and it's much more selective than her current school...

In many ways I'd be happier with her staying at her current school for sixth form (so lovely, so supportive, so happy, so safe), but she wants to spread her wings. And of course it will make my life and schedule easier .

Yes, mine will be in separate schools - 1 year apart. I do compare but they are very different people and the school that one thrives in would not suit the other. I do have to remind myself to look at the overall picture and not cherry pick the best bits from each to compare.

Logistically it can be difficult but you just work around it.

Yep, I have twins at different secondaries!

It's fine, their different schools suit them. Obviously you compare, but providing one doesn't consistently come off second best, that's okay ...
Logistics are a pain though. As are double sports day, double speech day, double parents evening, double GCSE options evening.

Think they'll converge again at sixth form and that will be nice!

I've got two teens in two different secondary schools. Their choice-they are different people and have different interests.

I don't compare really. All school have strengths and weaknesses. As long as they are happy which (at the moment, fingers crossed) they are then it works well. They don't suffer from being "x's brother" but are seen as complete individuals which is good.

I think it's really helped the younger one's development, but that's a happy by-product, not something we set out to do. He feels a lot more independent as he's not following in his brother's footsteps.