Private schools without the pressure

I was a day pupil at a girl's boarding school in Oxford (they do weekly boarding too, if that's better) which definitely doesn't hot house, and is good on family atmosphere etc. If we were looking for boarding, I'd look there - my two, though able, do not thrive on external pressure - but as it is we're sticking to SW London day schools, and currently prefer the local State option to the local indies, on the whole.

Do PM me if Oxford area is of interest!

St Christophers in Lechworth? Or (if you want something really different) there's always Summerhill.

When I read what you were looking for, I immediately thought of Sevenoaks, but it's possible my impression of it may be a bit out of date. Perhaps when you have a shortlist, post again.

Fair enough, SuiGeneris . For the record, PACT stands for 'Parents And Children and Teachers': the word order reflects their educational 'world view', so to speak (I.e parents are the primary educators of their children, and teachers are there to support and uphold both the children and their parents.)

PACT is a group of parents who started by setting up their own primary school, and now are responsible for 2 primaries and 2 secondaries. Apologies for slight derail! But relevant in the context of my whole-hearted recommendation of The Laurels, to anyone of any faith or none.

CSLewis: yes, of course you are right. The Laurels is neither owned nor run by OD, but I think that if you research PACT (the group that founded and controls the school) I think you will find strong OD links and similarities with OD-linked schools the world over. And the chaplain in a Catholic school has a strong influence. Of course it does not require all families to be members, the market would be too limited and the OD members with a stake in the school (helpers, teachers, etc) would not be able to introduce more people to OD, which they are encouraged to do.

None of this means it is not a good school or that it might not be suitable for the OP. You clearly are very happy with it. I just thought the OP would want to know, given the importance of a school's ethos.

If you are in SE London, Farringtons in Chislehurst might suit your dd, or Babington House. Both do not select academically.

SuiGeneris: The Laurels is NOT 'an Opus Dei school'! We do not belong to Opus Dei, and are over the moon about both the pastoral care and the education that our daughter is receiving there.

Their chaplain is from Opus Dei, but that is the only formal way in which the school is any different to any other Catholic school. It has never been put forward, either explicitly or implicitly, to parents or students.

OP, you could google St JoseMaria Escriva (founder of Opus Dei) + Education - he had some very interesting and enlightened views on the subject!

Agree with happy gardening.

My DSs are ate a private primary ( not a "prep" as such as they only go to 11, not 13), and I liked the school a lot and wanted something similar for secondary...only to find I could not find such a school nearby.

We ended up choosing a state school, as it is famous for its pastoral care and for being a happy school, whilst not piling on the pressure too much, whilst still putperforming the non selective private schools in terms of grades and value added.

Not saying you should look at State, just that I completely get where you are coming from and that I agree a hothousing atmosphere is not ideal for all children. Mine do much better in a more relaxed environment.

Good luck with finding the right school!

How about Moyles Court in Ringwood? It is a boarding school in Ringwood Hampshire. Not for the super rich as they have a very good bursary system .

The Laurels is an Opus Dei school. Do think and investigate whether that is something that would work for your family.

Prior's Field in Godalming is lovely.
St Catherines Bramley - academic but focused on the whole child and them being involved in lots of sport/music/drama etc too

I'd second St Chris.

St Christopher's, Letchworth, Herts - it offers a few boarding options including weekly, it's quite laidback, only offers vegetarian food (!), from what I've heard the pupils are relatively mixed - not super super wealthy. A friend's kids went there and loved it.

As others have said, Woldingham might be a good fit. It is a Catholic school with, I think, a rising reputation. Many day girls commute from central London (there is a station in the school grounds, and a school mini bus meets the London trains), and weekly boarding is also a possibility (leave on Saturday lunchtime).

Ooh ooh pick mine!!! Look up The Laurels: it's a newly opened, tiny, very Catholic (but also inclusive of different beliefs) private girls' secondary, in Clapham Park, and (apart from the obvious lack of track record) it is FANTASTIC. Pastoral care and character development are their primary concerns, as they truly believe that if you nurture the child and encourage to be the best PERSON they can be, this will translate into them achieving the best results that they (as an individual) are capable of.

Do look at their website, go for a visit; I know the senior management team personally now (my daughter went when it opened last year) - nurturing their girls' is their vocation, and they really love them (in a good way!)

Www.thelaurelsschool.org.uk

If you are in SE London have you considered Colfes or St Dunstan's for co-ed? These are get good results without being academic hothouses and are known for their pastoral care. I know people with dc at these schools. Blackheath and Sydenham High are similar but girls only. I know that if you're closer to Dulwich then JAGS and Alleyn's are rather more selective and pressured, but Emmanuel is an option.

Emanuel is very very strong in art. They interview everyone regardless of the exam results because they're looking at the whole picture. Coed.

Pepperpot69

It used to make me laugh, my dh taught as a visiting teacher (specialist) for a good number of years compared to the Princes (not British) that were there my dh earned less than their pocket money. However, they addressed him as Sir, bowed and generally respected and looked up to him and all their other teachers. It never ceased to amaze me on the occasions I attended garden parties etc.
Similarly, there were those who were the poor relative in relation to this type of pupil and they were treated and behaved exactly the same.

Friend of mine has children at Ampleforth and they love it. They are all very down to earth and not the stereo type that everyone spouts about public school (only true of about 5% pupils). It is fairly academic but sport and drama are both very good too. There will be lots of kids going from London area and they have a lot of fun on the train. A full boarding school doesn't give children much chance to get home in between half terms as there is so much going on and so many extra activities that they love doing with their friends.

Ampleforth is brilliant and I can't praise it enough.
parents from all types of backgrounds and the children are taught to be really respectful of their teachers, so I believe the pastoral/social side is good.
because it is remote lots of things are organised for them, so never a dull moment.
When our older 2 were little and if we had had the money, they would have gone here.
We even had offer of a huge discount on fees, but boarding wasn't for us then.

I would agree with Dusy Law, Queens College, lovely school. Ibstock Place or king Alfred other options ?

For day schools in London, definitely have a look at Queen's College as it sounds like it would really suit your daughter. Boarding - quite a few schools in the South East which offer weekly boarding so plenty to choose from. Benenden - didn't come across well to us and really disliked the hierarchy of girls in their houses eg junior girls not allowed on the comfy chairs plus weird school rules on the kitchen/pantry in the houses only being open to girls for 20 minutes each evening - not a homely feeling at all.

Sorry, pressed 'post' too soon
It isn't a hothouse, they are all about creating a happy and secure time at school. Both of the girls had a great time, have lots of friends from their time there and are very happy in themselves.

beechwood sacred heart school in Tunbridge Wells?
www.beechwood.org.uk/boarding-welcome/
My neighbours girls went there are they are really lovely, they had a great time there and it catered well for their very different personalities
It's very good on the creative side but also recognises where academic and very bright students need more support and challenges

Have you heard of Farringtons in Chislehurst, Bromley? Boarding school and day pupils. Definitely not an academic hothouse and the pastoral care is very good: www.farringtons.org.uk/