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Original poster

Sports Day for the non-sporty kids...is this fair?

84 replies

SadAboutTheBoy · 16/06/2014 17:29

DS age 11 - one of youngest in his year - in first year of Senior School, so first Sports Day at the school.
He's quite a quiet, sensitive little boy, and hasn't found Senior School easy.

He's not good at sport (not as big/strong as the other kids in his year), and knows it. He is quite good at techy stuff and music etc.

So he comes home today and says that everyone has signed up for things for Sports Day, but that he isn't doing anything, and has been told he is to be a 'Reporter' - and that he has to write up a news report of what happens on the day.

I sensed that he was a bit upset and there was more to this, so probed a bit, and found out the following:

  • the lists were being drawn up and co-ordinated by 6th formers in the same house (not teachers)
  • they asked for volunteers for each event.
  • DS said he volunteered for '7 or 8' different events, but on each occasion someone from his year group shouted him down and said ' No, don't put [DS] down for that, he's crap/ no, let me do that one, I'm much better/ oh God, we'll never win if you let him do that' and so on... Sad

There were 3 or 4 of them (out of about 40 in his House) who were told there was 'nothing left' for them, and that they could be 'reporters'.
They are meant to write up a report after the day and hand it in the next day. The next day is the last day of term,so I don't believe this report will be used/read.

I am really angry about this. DS is trying to shrug it off, but I can tell he was upset.
I don't care that he isn't doing an event (although I thought that was the point of Sports Day?) but I do think this has been handled incredibly insensitively.

Do I mention it to his teacher/ Head of year/Head of Sport, or just let it lie?
I did think I might just tell them I'm taking him out of school that day and go and do something fun instead!

OP posts:
HercShipwright · 16/06/2014 19:15

My kids would regard that as a RESULT.

meditrina · 16/06/2014 19:09

You need to ask your DS what he wants. It can be deeply embarrassing to have parents intervene and if he sees it that way, it would be completely counterproductive. He needs your support and a feeling you are on his side, and that does not necessarily mean, once at secondary, wading in as you would coat primary.

But if he does want you to, then talk to whichever teacher organised the sports day. Point out the effect on your DD of the choices made by other boys and ask how the teachers ensure that there is no unfairness. And that he sees report writing is a chore and has burdened him.

There is the possibility (which I hope is the case) that report writing is an honour.

coppertop · 16/06/2014 19:05

I don't think it's fair that they have to do written work just because they weren't chosen for an event.

Could the reporters just take photos instead and e-mail them to the appropriate person?

I would mention it to the form teacher. I don't think it will make a difference this year but it might save other children from going through the same thing next time.

sunshinecity17 · 16/06/2014 18:59

That's how it is at secondary.There is usually only one or two from each house in each event, so not everyone gets a go.I woyuyld be very surprised if there were only 3 or 4 not taking part.

Bunbaker · 16/06/2014 18:41

"He could have stood up for himself & insisted on doing the activities in spite of them insisting they'd do better."

You clearly haven't had to deal with children who lack self confidence. DD wouldn't have had the confidence to stand up for herself in those circumstances. Have you no empathy or understanding?

I think the school have handled this badly. I don't even know if they do a sports day at DD's school as she has no interest in sport. If they do it will only be with the pupils who actively want to take part.

Original poster
SadAboutTheBoy · 16/06/2014 18:41

lljkk - we've already had a discussion about the bullying and nastiness, which is why this is so disappointing - they promised they'd keep an eye on things for him.

I don't resent the competitive nature of Sports Day for those that are a) good and b) into it, but it doesn't mean that you should trample over a small child along the way.

It is a compulsory event apparently, therefore they should at least try to accommodate every pupil in some sort of event even if it's an egg and spoon race!

OP posts:
lljkk · 16/06/2014 18:34

Sounds like you have a lot to talk to the school about.

Original poster
SadAboutTheBoy · 16/06/2014 18:28

He's not the sort of kid who would be able to stand up for himself against the alpha male sporty loud-mouths. We've already had some issues about some of this crowd bullying and picking on him.
It's just difficult because he is physically and emotionally immature relative to most of his peers.
No doubt if some teachers had been handling it then they would have intervened, but 6th formers don't have the skills etc.

The 'reporter' thing is just so wrong IMO though. Just a fob off. Why should he spend the last night of term doing a piece of homework which will never be looked at Hmm.

I'm just so sad and disappointed in the school. These are the sorts of experiences which demolish self-esteem.

OP posts:
lljkk · 16/06/2014 18:16

I think I would say something to someone ... but I'm kind of split about this. He doesn't like sports anyway. He could have stood up for himself & insisted on doing the activities in spite of them insisting they'd do better. Of course the kid who thinks he's best wants to do the event & the kids who want their house to win (because they are competing in houses) will shout out the names of who they think is best.

It sounds like there aren't enough spaces for everyone in the house to get to do something, which seems odd.